(Minghui.org) I came to New York to attend the Fa conference six years ago. Since then, I have been associated with a media project.
In the past year, a Fa tribulation emerged unexpectedly, accompanied by leadership changes, as well as a media storm that followed, which exposed many of my human thoughts and attachments, many of which I had not realized in the past.
My mood was like a roller coaster ride. Even though I tried hard to maintain a pure mindset, I often felt physically and mentally exhausted when emotions consumed me, and I even felt that my thoughts were not as clear and sharp as they used to be—what was going on?
This year, I often sat quietly in front of Master's picture in my free time and asked: “Master, what should I do? I am so confused. Am I doing the right thing? Am I wrong?” Friction between people is significantly more challenging than solving document or data problems. I once felt tired and even yearned for a quiet life. I thought maybe it would be better to leave. But with such thoughts, how can I still be a Dafa disciple? No, I must stay!
The following are some of my realizations and experiences from the past year as I worked on letting go of attachments. I hope that it will be helpful to other practitioners. It has been a process of pulling myself out of my cocoon and out of my negative mindset.
Transformation Towards Professionalism: Cooperation in Conflict and Growth in Regulation
With new leadership in place, I have had the opportunity to work and interact more frequently with, and learn, from Western practitioners who have worked in regular companies.
I enjoy this kind of cooperation. Their clear thinking and direct expression saves me a lot of speculation, which makes me more willing to work with them. They are like a mirror, reflecting many of my problems: rushing to finish, taking shortcuts, not caring about the long term, and only aiming at immediate results.
Of course, in the process of learning and working with them, it was not without moments of impatience on my part. They have been in the media for many years, are familiar with some of the internal details, and have experience, unlike myself who has just joined and does not yet know much about the business.
During meetings, even if I appear calm and speak in a kind tone, my heart is already in turmoil. Sometimes, the solutions they proposed seemed perfect at first glance, but in fact, they were too far from our current situation and could not be implemented at all. There were several times when I couldn't communicate effectively in writing, and I was so anxious that I called them directly. After the call, I remained unsettled for a long time.
Sitting on the train home, I began to reflect: why am I like this? On the surface, it was impatience, but deep down, it was a complex mix of deep-seated attachments: jealousy, a desire for fame and profit, low self-esteem, and even pride. I was impatient on the surface, thinking that the other person could give instructions without knowing much, but in fact, it was jealousy and low self-esteem at work.
They were fluent in English, used professional expressions, and had natural familiarity with the local culture, while I, from daily conversations to specialized terminology, had to study extra for almost everything to pass the exams, because I had extremely low self-esteem.
I am also jealous of them for being able to work regularly, get off work on time, have time to live and work remotely. However, our fellow practitioners from the mainland are accustomed to enduring hardships and taking on responsibilities. They take on any urgent tasks as a matter of course without complaint. My heart was greatly unbalanced.
What intense jealousy! However, the discovery of the attachment is the first step in eliminating it. After additional reflection I can see we take on more at work voluntarily, after realizing it in the Fa. If we do well, it is the wisdom that we get from the Fa.
Westerner colleagues are pleasant, and they are, in fact, very efficient at work and well organized. My heart gradually calmed down, and my original complaints and dissatisfaction were transformed into a desire to cooperate and do things well together.
Supplementation and Cooperation, Eliminating Selfishness
This year, the company has tightened control over system permissions to strengthen compliance. Some of the tasks I was initially responsible for were handled by someone else the day after I had done them; in some work groups, I was also removed without warning. These situations sometimes made me feel at a loss.
I continued my work quietly, but was I really “selfless” in my heart? After doing something for a long time, it becomes easy to develop a subconscious mindset: “This is my business; this is the area I am responsible for,” or “You don't understand, so I am in charge.” This kind of mentality is attachment and selfishness.
Once, a colleague messaged me privately, “Why did you get kicked out of the group?” I was stunned, “What group? Why don't I know?” Negative feelings ensued: I felt unseen, disrespected, humiliated, and even wanted to walk away. But after calming down, I asked myself, “What are you doing all this for?”
Master told us:
“put Dafa before other things; and keep at the forefront of your mind, and make a singular focus of, safeguarding Dafa practitioners’ initiatives and ensuring that they achieve the success that they should in saving lives.” (Critical Times Reveal One’s Spiritual State)
It doesn't matter who is in charge as long as the project runs smoothly. If the current person in charge is unfamiliar with it, I can assist, hand it over, or write the process; it doesn't matter. As long as there is no delay, everything can be completed with cooperation. Thinking this way, my heart is also much lighter.
I remember a dream I had a few years ago—there was a war going on in a city of skyscrapers. There was a tall building in front of me, and it looked like it was about to be hit, so I thought: Oh no! So, with a thought, I moved the building to my world. My little world was like a small, peaceful village, and this skyscraper was sitting there on a piece of vacant land without foundation, waiting until the war in the city stopped, and then I moved it back.
Then I thought, isn't that a reflection of my years in media? I don't have a strong media background, but I'm a quick learner. With the significant turnover of media personnel and the break in work handover, I've taken on a number of projects left behind by my predecessors. Some of them were beyond my ability, but I had to take them on. Just like that building, temporarily placed firmly in my place, thinking: when the right person comes, I will hand it back to him. And before anyone is responsible for it, I will quietly fill in and do my best to do it right.
Divine Accomplishes with One Single Thought
In the face of the current situation, many projects are caught in the dilemma of “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Who should take the lead? How to carry it out?
One morning, Master’s Fa teaching suddenly appeared in my mind:
“I’ve told you before that when a god creates something, one thought is all it takes and immediately it will be done.” (Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa, Collected Teachings Given Around the WorldVolume XI)
I thought about this Fa over and over in those days. I'm in charge of advertising revenue operations, and one of the most significant issues facing media today is brand integrity.
As a result of reports over the past few years by some media rating agencies that have assigned us extremely low scores, large number of advertisers, advertising platforms, and SSPs blocked, rejected, or terminated our cooperation. Should we take legal action, or we could wait for the political situation to change. Waiting is not an option.
Master wants us to run a media that is upright and has a foothold in mainstream society. When mainstream rating agencies assign extremely low ratings, this is perceived by ordinary people as a symbol of us losing credibility. This situation is not only inconsistent with the image we should have, but also increases the difficulty of clarifying the truth and saving people. This situation must be reversed!
Just when I had the thought that I must do something, an opportunity arose. In February of last year, I suddenly received an invitation to a large-scale event for publishers, with lodging and program fees waived. I was inexperienced, but thinking that this was an opportunity to clarify the truth, I confidently accepted the invitation and went alone.
This event opened my eyes, and from then on, we were able to participate in more industry events, meet face-to-face with suppliers and peers, and have more and more opportunities to clarify the truth. Eventually, with the cooperation of the team and various departments, we were able to reconnect with a rating company and successfully repair our rating score.
In March this year, another event gathering of top decision-makers from the advertising industry was included in our itinerary plan. As if Master saw that we had this heart when I was worrying and hesitating about the high admission fee, my colleague and I were lucky enough to get two of the only thirty free spots!
I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar name on the published free list. It was the president of another rating company. I am a little face-blind, so it wasn't easy to recognize her among the hundreds of people at the event. But she happened to appear right in front of me during the break. It was just a “coincidence.” We got in touch again and established a bridge for dialogue.
All this is really as if it was arranged. This reminds me of a passage of Master's Fa:
“If you could see things for what they are, you would discover that, in your cultivation, whatever setting you are in, whatever social class you’re a part of, whatever status you have, whatever “coincidental” things you have done, or whatever your “luck” may be—all of this which is part of your path—was brought about by your vow, and nothing is by chance.” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XIII)
Responsibilities and Commitments
It's been a year of turbulence in and out of the media, and I've experienced my share of emotional ups and downs. In the past few years, I was energized even when I worked late into the night, but recently, even if I go to bed early, I often feel exhausted. I asked myself again and again: Why do I practice? Why did I join the media?
Veteran practitioners often entered Dafa after searching among humans and took the initiative to cultivate. I, like many young practitioners, have been cultivating with my parents since I was a child. My understanding of cultivation is from an emotional perspective: I know that Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance are good, and I am willing to assimilate them and hold myself accountable to these principles. This is a perceptual rather than a rational understanding of the mystery of cultivation and the connotation of Consummation.
My understanding of resisting persecution and relaying the facts to save people is more at the level of human emotions of “loyalty” and “righteousness.” Since I was a child, my mother, a fellow practitioner, told me that my birth was a miracle and that Dafa and Master gave my life. So I have always been grateful and naturally accepted the ideas of “repaying gratitude”, “sacrifice” and “dedication” among ordinary people. How can we stand idly by when Dafa is suffering and being suppressed and smeared by the evil Communist Party? I joined the media to a large extent out of this kind of heart.
This starting point may be good at some levels. However, upon examining it from a higher level, this understanding is actually quite emotional and still rooted in sentimentality. It puts me in a state of “doing things”: as long as what I do seems effective or directly related to clarifying the truth and saving people, I feel motivated; if not, my heart will easily slack off.
Additionally, I couldn't maintain the practice for a long time, and my body hadn't been transformed. After a long time, my body could no longer take it. What made me even more tired was dealing with interpersonal relationships.
Over the past few years, I have had to focus solely on completing the tasks I was responsible for, whether it was executing advertising or developing technical solutions, as long as I was willing to learn and follow instructions.
However, over the past one or two years, I have not only had to complete my work but also coordinate cross-departmental cooperation, integrate newcomers, handle handovers, manage external communication, and participate in project planning. Facing different leaders, different styles and opinions, I, as a contractor, need to balance all parties and push the priorities forward. The pressure and difficulty are much higher.
The leadership has high expectations and provides me with training, but I often feel that I am not strong enough and am far from achieving what I want. Sometimes, I even try to avoid it, fearing that it will cause conflicts, and simply reply, “I will do what you ask.” The result is often confusion and internal friction.
However, as I worked harder to purify my heart and stopped caring so much about the competition, I discovered that when I truly did things with a righteous mind and without seeking rewards, I felt much more at ease. Just as when you pour out some of the dirty content from the bottle, the bottle will float up a bit, and your level will naturally improve. Many of the negative emotions that bothered me at the time, I can no longer remember, no matter how hard I try.
Isn't this the process of moving from perceptual to rational understanding and of ascending in the Fa? Only by cultivating oneself solidly can one shoulder greater responsibilities. Otherwise, no matter how determined one is, one will not be able to bear the burden. I have heard many senior practitioners express their disappointment that we, the young disciples, are far behind them. I feel deeply ashamed and hope to correct myself as soon as possible and take on greater responsibilities.
Closing Remarks：Cherish the Connection Improving Together
During lunch, I listened intently as fellow practitioners shared their experiences of obtaining the Fa. What kind of coincidence brought us together from all over the world on this media platform to move forward together, using the power of media, to clarify the truth and save sentient beings? This connection is exceptionally precious, and I cherish it deeply.
Despite the many conflicts mentioned in this article, we actually worked very well together most of the time. Everyone showed their strengths and complemented each other to overcome difficulties together: some excelled at external communication and relationship building, some were skilled at internal coordination and operations, some were effective at motivating team morale, some were creative, and some were down-to-earth and persevering day after day.
As Master has repeatedly emphasized in the Fa, we must cooperate with one another in the project. On the road ahead, disciples will persevere in studying the Fa, practicing diligently, and cooperating well, so as to fulfill Master's requirements!
Thank you, Master!Thank you, fellow practitioners!
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Cultivation Insights
