(Minghui.org) Master asks us to cultivate while conforming to ordinary human society to the greatest extent possible. This is because cultivators must follow the requirements of the Fa to guide their practice. If one conforms to ordinary people without remembering that we are cultivators, then we are just ordinary people. What everyday people consider “good” may not actually be good, and what they see as “bad” may not necessarily be bad. Only what aligns with the universal characteristics of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance is truly good.
Practitioners understand this principle, yet many still have difficulty applying it in actual cultivation—especially when they are stirred by sentimentality. At such times, it’s hard to distinguish what should or should not be done, and one may not approach a tribulation with rationality. Some practitioners were taken advantage of by the old forces and subjected to various forms of persecution. Some of these persecutions are covert and difficult to detect, so practitioners may be indifferent and are not vigilant. Many even said they were “conforming to ordinary people” to justify their actions.
Through studying the Fa, we understand that Fa-rectification period Falun Dafa practitioners shoulder the significant mission of saving sentient beings. No matter what tests we encounter, we must evaluate them from the perspective of saving lives. If our xinxing is not at fault, then it’s likely the old forces are interfering by persecuting us. One of their most prominent methods is exploiting the sentimentality we have not yet eliminated. Some practitioners have lost their physical bodies because of this, while others were trapped in long-lasting tribulations, and were unable to fulfill their missions as practitioners—leading to troubling consequences.
I’d like to share what I experienced with you. I hope it may offer useful insights.
My Father-in-law’s Stroke
Towards the end of 2020, when our Fa study group was actively engaged in clarifying the truth about the persecution and helping Master save people, my father-in-law suddenly suffered a stroke and lost consciousness. He was rushed to the hospital. After emergency treatment the hospital issued a critical condition notice and told the family to prepare for the worst. They said the best possible outcome was that he would be in a vegetative state.
My husband worked during the day and stayed with his father at the hospital at night. My brother-in-law took care of him during the day. I prepared meals, delivered food, and did laundry for my father-in-law. I also tried to do the three things well. Our Fa study group and Dafa-related work remained mostly unaffected. In the hospital, we made use of every opportunity to play Master’s lectures for my unconscious father-in-law. A few days later he began moving one of his fingers and could hear us talking. When I asked if he knew who I was, he signaled “yes” with his finger. A couple of days later, he opened his eyes. Although he still couldn’t speak, he wrote on a clipboard. Despite his serious condition he was not in pain. He remained calm and even smiled at times.
The hospital staff couldn’t make sense of my father-in-law’s recovery. According to their scans, they said, he shouldn’t even be alive—they felt it was strange. For safety reasons we didn’t tell them what we were doing to help him. We were careful when we meditated or listened to the Fa in the hospital room.
One day, my father-in-law woke up and wrote a sentence on his clipboard, “I want to cultivate.” Although the handwriting was crooked, we could clearly make out what he wrote. He also wrote, “Falun Dafa is good.” We knew compassionate Master saved his life.
Another patient who wasn’t as critically ill as my father-in-law groaned in pain and caused a commotion. The patient’s family members were amazed by how calm my father-in-law was and were curious about what we were having him listen to. I used the opportunity to clarify the truth to them. Two sisters said they were interested in listening as well, so I gave them each a device loaded with Master’s lectures and exercise instruction videos.
After a month in the hospital, my father-in-law was discharged and sent home. That’s when some issues surfaced: my brother-in-law, who’s over 50, said he couldn’t handle it physically anymore and insisted that I take over caring for our completely dependent father-in-law. My mother-in-law, though in good health, had a strained relationship with her husband and refused to let him return to their home, telling us to find our own solution—she didn’t care where we put him. Ironically, the house they were living in actually belonged to us.
Handling the Situation From the Perspective of the Fa
Faced with this dilemma my husband considered quitting his job to care for his father full-time. I disagreed, as that would exhaust him completely. I shared my thoughts with him: nothing we encounter is accidental, and we must view everything from the perspective of cultivation. We cannot allow the old forces to exploit the sentimentality we hadn’t eliminated. First and foremost, no matter what happens, we must not delay our cultivation—especially our efforts to save people. My husband agreed.
I also shared my thoughts on ethics: society still respects the traditional concept that men and women should maintain proper boundaries—especially between a father-in-law and his daughter-in-law. If there truly were no men in the family, I would have no choice and would take care of him, but we had three healthy men and a capable mother-in-law. I felt it was inappropriate for a daughter-in-law to assume this role—it goes against both social norms and family ethics. I suggested that our son come home to take over for my brother-in-law. He agreed, and he also believed it was improper for his mother to care for his grandfather. That’s how the issue was resolved.
The second issue was: where should my father-in-law live? I believed we must not allow the old forces to create financial tribulations for us. We couldn’t afford to rent another place or send my father-in-law to a nursing home—especially since he was determined to come home. If we sent him to a nursing home, he would lose the good environment for studying the Fa, since at home he could study with us. Moreover, if we sent him away against his wishes, he might die of grief. We couldn’t let that happen. If he was willing and we were financially capable, it would be another story. But the prerequisite is that it must not interfere with our cultivation and saving sentient beings.
As for my mother-in-law’s attitude, we didn’t take it personally—we just explained things to her clearly. I also realized that negative elements behind her were manipulating her to interfere with us. So my husband and I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate those bad elements and stop them from using her to disrupt our efforts to save people. We firmly told her that we could not accept her unreasonable demand.
First, what she wanted was against my father-in-law’s wishes. Second, the house belonged to us—and was meant for both of them to live in. If she didn’t allow him to stay, she should be the one to leave. We had to treat them fairly. Her demand didn’t make sense because the house is over 80 square meters (about 860 square feet) and empty. But she wouldn’t let her husband stay in it, insisting that we rent another place for him or put him in a nursing home.
My husband told her the neighbors would criticize her and say she was heartless. We consulted my husband’s brother and sister-in-law, and they all opposed her stance. No matter how much she ranted, we remained unmoved. My husband and I just kept sending righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors behind her. Eventually, my father-in-law happily moved into his own room, and I was able to continue doing the three things without disruption.
Since my father-in-law was completely immobile and weighed over 100 kilograms (about 220 pounds), even my strong husband and son found it exhausting to care for him—especially when they had to lift him to use the bathroom or to take a bath. Although the family studied the Fa with him every day and he became more fair-skinned and youthful, often cheerful and even joking with us through writing on a board, I realized it was unlikely he could make further progress in cultivation.
I remembered what Master said Zhuan Falun:
“You can read this book to a patient. If the patient can accept it, it can heal his illness, yet the results will differ according to each person’s amount of karma.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
We didn’t know what my father-in-law’s predestined relationship with Dafa was, or how much time he had left—that wasn’t for us to decide. As cultivators, we just had to maintain our xinxing and do what we were supposed to do.
My husband started having physical issues, and my son said he was getting very tired. That jolted me to attention: something was wrong—we couldn’t continue like this. If we did, my husband and son would be in danger. Were the old forces exploiting some hidden human attachment we had? Perhaps it was draining us by taking advantage of emotions toward my father-in-law we hadn’t yet let go of? So I quietly said to Master in my heart: “Master, if we’ve met the standard at our level in how we’ve handled this situation, please make the decision for us. We absolutely do not allow the old forces to exploit our sentimentality. We only accept what Master arranges for us.”
My father-in-law passed away, while saying “Falun Dafa is good” after finishing Fa study with my husband on the evening of the Lantern Festival (15th day of the Lunar New Year). From the onset of his illness to his passing, it was just a month and a half, and he never suffered—he passed away peacefully. The medical staff who came to handle his body said they never saw an 80-year-old who looked so clean and youthful. We knew Master purified his body. His sallow skin gradually became rosy and he looked younger. After cremation, the staff responsible for handling his ashes said, “Is this really an old person? I’ve never seen bones this strong—they are like a young man’s.”
I dreamed about my father-in-law a few days after he died. It seemed he reincarnated in a country where one could freely practice Falun Dafa.
This experience deepened my understanding that Master is always watching over us and our family members. Master will arrange everything in the best possible way as long as we believe in Master and the Fa, let go of fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. We must cultivate ourselves well, do the three things, keep our cultivation foundation righteous, remember we are helping Master rectify the Fa and that saving people is our priority.
After my father-in-law passed away, we didn’t set up a photo altar like ordinary people do. The ceremony was simple, and our family agreed with this approach. We subtly explained that displaying photos of the deceased at home is not auspicious and may have bad energy, so the family accepted this.
In fact, as long as we let go of attachments, think of others with kindness, and explain things with compassion and wisdom, everyday people can understand and accept what we say. Of course, every family’s situation is different but our environment is a reflection of our cultivation. As cultivators, we must hold ourselves to a cultivator’s standard. We can’t do what we shouldn’t just because we’re afraid of upsetting our family. Compromising principles to meet everyday people’s expectations means we’re not true cultivators. Not acting according to cultivation standards will bring tribulations, or even lead to our downfall. There are too many painful lessons.
The above is just a bit of personal experience in cultivation. If there’s anything not in line with the Fa, please kindly correct me.
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