(Minghui.org) I have been divorced from my husband for 15 years, and he has since remarried and had a son. Imagine my surprise one evening in 2023, when my daughter answered a knock at our door to find her father standing outside with his young son. Judging by the looks on their faces, something serious had happened. When we asked what was wrong, my ex-husband nodded towards the little boy, “His mother left us.” He then turned to me and pleaded, “Could you please take care of him? I’ll pay his expenses.”
My daughter initially assumed that her father and his wife were just going through a rough patch. She was optimistic that it would soon get resolved, but my ex-husband assured us that his wife was not coming back. He said they didn’t get into any argument or fights, and there was no sign leading up to the separation—she just left and took all her belongings. He was sure she left him for a wealthy man who could support her expensive lifestyle.
I didn’t think it was wise to get involved in their business, given that they were still legally married. Their son needed his mother, and a divorce would devastate the little boy. My daughter and I believed that the best solution would be to try and change his wife’s mind.
After my ex-husband reluctantly left with his son, a million thoughts raced through my mind and kept me up all night. “Why did this happen? What human notions and attachments of mine could have possibly caused it?” There’s a reason for everything a Dafa practitioner encounters, so I dug deep, hoping to find where I fell short.
After all this time, was it possible I still had sentimental feelings for my ex-husband? I was sure I had paid back in full all the karmic debts I owed him. Tears welled up as I recalled how my life had been so tangled up in his, as well as what I’d been through since I took up Falun Dafa 20 years prior.
A Painful Past
I began practicing Falun Dafa (Falun Gong) in 1998, just months before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) banned the practice and launched the all-out persecution in July 1999. State-run media broadcast slanderous propaganda defaming the practice and turned the Chinese public against it. My then-husband, who hadn’t been supportive of my beliefs, threatened to divorce me if I didn’t renounce Dafa.
I was new to the practice and didn’t really know how to cultivate myself, but I wholeheartedly believed that Falun Dafa was good, and I was determined to continue. I hadn’t done anything wrong, so why would I give it up?
I was arrested later that year and detained at a brainwashing center. My husband brought our two small children to visit me and begged me to give up my belief so I could go home to him and our children. I couldn’t bear to think that I was inflicting pain on my family, so I wrote a guarantee statement and renounced Falun Dafa.
In the following years, I was seduced by the money-driven culture of Chinese society. I focused on making money, making myself believe it was the path to happiness. I also took on more duties to take care of the family as my children got older.
My husband was a reserved person and not very social. His personality led to frequent job changes, which caused us a lot of financial stress. For a while, everything seemed to fall onto my shoulders. I’d get up before dawn every day to hand wash our laundry in the river before heading to work. After a busy day’s work, I came home and rushed to get dinner on the table before fetching water from the river to water the crops. I managed the household, took care of my husband and our two children, and worked in the fields. To make ends meet, I worked all kinds of side jobs, even as a construction worker and a carrier, jobs traditionally done by men.
The demands of life and our constant marital conflicts took a toll on my health. On the way to work one day, I collapsed on the side of the road. Luckily, a relative from my village was passing by. He called for help and took me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had suffered a serious allergic reaction called anaphylaxis, triggered by my chronic asthma. He said if it happened too often, it could be life-threatening. I was put on the maximum dose of a hormone-based medication to keep the symptoms at bay. But I was also warned that being on this medication long-term could harm my health and be potentially fatal.
Each time I had an episode of anaphylaxis, I had to be hospitalized and put on oxygen for several days. This temporarily relieved the symptoms, but sooner or later I would have another severe reaction. The frequency increased from once a month to once every few days. I thus had to stop working, and the medical expenses became a huge burden. My children lived in constant fear and my husband smoked packs of cigarettes every day to relieve his stress. We simply couldn’t afford my medical treatment any longer and we gave up completely.
Resuming Dafa Cultivation and Going Through Divorce
Even though I had let Master down, he never gave up on me. Just when I was in the depths of despair, a practitioner came to visit and brought me a copy of Zhuan Falun. She said to me sternly, “You’re in a dire situation. Come back to Dafa cultivation—only Master can save you.” Her words sparked hope in me. With tears in my eyes, I nodded.
I resumed cultivation, but my husband still vehemently opposed it. I could only study the Fa and do the exercises when he wasn’t home. As my health improved and my asthma attacks became less frequent, my husband started turning a blind eye, and stopped interfering.
My sister-in-law, also a practitioner, was arrested while distributing truth-clarification fliers in 2007. It caused a big stir among my extended family, and my husband again threatened to divorce me if I didn’t give up cultivation. Party officials from the community committee harassed him and instructed him to monitor me, otherwise he and our children would be implicated. This is the CCP’s way of further persecuting Dafa practitioners, by turning family members against them. There were cases of practitioners’ children being prohibited from joining the military or applying for a license to become a government employee. Some were even kicked out of school before being able to complete their degrees.
My husband was hostile and completely dismissive of Dafa, saying that I still had sickness symptoms. He no longer cared if I practiced or not and just wanted to get a divorce. Naively, I thought his attitude and wanting out of our marriage was due to pressure from the authorities and his fear of being implicated. I had no idea that he was having an extramarital affair. I tried to explain to him that Dafa was a righteous practice and the persecution was wrong. I reminded him that goodness is rewarded and bad deeds will meet with retribution. But he told me that he didn’t believe any of that, and didn’t care.
He wanted to coerce me into agreeing to a divorce, and his silent treatment quickly escalated into verbal insults and physical violence. He once dragged me to the window and threatened to push me out if I didn’t sign the divorce paperwork. He said that if I died from the fall, he would tell people that I jumped and committed suicide. I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I succumbed to the pressure and gave in.
During the divorce negotiations, my husband agreed to take care of our children, so all of our savings went to him. When our land was appropriated by the government for urban development, we were promised two new apartment units, which were being built at the time. We agreed that the bigger unit would go to our son, and my husband would take the smaller one. I temporarily stayed in our old unit until it was demolished. In addition to the two apartment units, the additional 100,000 yuan compensation for our land also went to my husband to pay for our children’s medical insurance and tuition.
Treating My Ex-Husband with Compassion
After the divorce finalized, my ex-husband ignored his responsibilities stated in the agreement. After two payments of 800 yuan, he stopped paying my daughter’s tuition, room and board. She went to his place several times and tried to get him to pay, but he refused. Heartbroken, she came home and sobbed in my arms.
Our divorce was hardest on my son. He dropped out of school when he was 14 and started working odd jobs to help make ends meet. I also took whatever work was available to support the family. We went through some very tough times, but things started to pick up when my daughter became independent, and my son found a stable job as a chef’s apprentice.
My ex-husband and his new wife had a baby boy in 2015. His family, especially my former father-in-law, was very excited, as the old generation favors boys over girls. I was the last one to find out. Our neighbors all gossiped about my husband’s affair and how irresponsible he’d been to our family.
When I got home from work one day, soon after the baby was born, my daughter told me that our new apartment units had been built and assigned, but her father now wanted the bigger one for his new family, despite having agreed to give it to our son. I was furious and ready to take him to court. But after studying the Fa, I calmed down. If my son was not meant to have the bigger unit, he wouldn’t be able to keep it even if we won in court. I decided to let it go and let my ex-husband have it.
After my ex-husband had renovated his apartment, he came to borrow money from our daughter for furniture and appliances. My daughter couldn’t believe it, “Mom—is he out of his mind? How could he possibly think I would lend him money? He never cared about us or took care of us for even a single day. He stole the unit from my brother and still has the nerve to come here and ask for money!”
I stroked her hair and said, “Sweetie. If you do have some extra money, maybe consider lending it to your father. If he was just a friend, you’d help him if he was in need, wouldn’t you? Forget about what happened in the past—it was our predestined relationships playing out. I saw in a dream that I murdered him in one of my previous lives, which is why he treated me so badly in this life. It gives me peace of mind to know that I have repaid my debt. Yes, he caused us a lot of hardship, but we survived, didn’t we? All of that is in the past now, and he’s still your father after all. Shouldn’t you treat him with kindness?”
My daughter decided to lend the money to her father. He then asked to borrow from her two more times and didn’t pay back the last loan. My daughter was very compassionate and decided to let it go.
When my former sister-in-law found out about it, she asked me, “How could you let this happen? He and that other woman live a pretty lavish lifestyle and their apartment is ten times nicer than yours. How could you lend him money? How can he not be embarrassed to ask for money?”
I smiled. Thanks to Dafa, I’m healthy and able to work and support myself. I have no medical expenses whatsoever. My son has worked in a factory for ten years. My daughter has already landed a good job even though she is still in college. They are both such good kids, and Master is looking after them because I practice Falun Dafa. My daughter is a talented, self-taught watercolor artist and has been selling her paintings online. It’s been a very good side hustle for her—she’s making quite a lot of money.
What I practice is the real Buddha Fa. It is the most extraordinary, wonderful, and righteous practice. We have so many blessings from Dafa. If it weren’t for Master’s guidance and protection, we wouldn’t have survived the first few years after my divorce.
When I run into friends and co-workers who know our past, they give me a thumbs up. A friend told my daughter in front of me, “Your mother is an exceptional woman. You and your brother have to take care of her.” If it weren’t for Dafa, I would not be able to treat my ex-husband and his family with tolerance and compassion.
Another friend once told me, “You’re an incredible person. Your kids are so good. I can’t imagine what you must have been through, but you’ve raised them and taught them so well. You’ve suffered a lot and managed your family affairs with such grace.” I know it’s not me, but Dafa’s principles that have guided me through my tribulations.
Because my children have been raised by a Dafa practitioner who follows the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, they also subconsciously hold themselves to these standards. They have indeed grown to be wonderful young adults. If I didn’t cultivate Dafa, I wouldn’t have known how to be a good person myself, let alone how to teach my kids.
I believe that my ex-husband is a decent person deep down. He’ll wake up one day and choose a life that is upright, courageous, and full of kindness. I validate my belief with my words and deeds, and treat him with compassion. Hopefully, he’ll learn to discern between good and evil and choose with his conscience.
I finally fell asleep after my ex-husband and his boy left and dreamed of a leisurely life with him as a couple. When I woke up, I realized I still had affection for him—at the very least, I still saw him as family. As I recited the Fa, tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away and continued reciting. I knew Master removed a lot of negative substances from my field that day. My heart was calm and my mind clear—I knew exactly what I should do.
Dafa Changed My Husband’s Son
I agreed to take care of my ex-husband’s boy temporarily, while he and his wife figured things out. His boy was very rebellious and didn’t like schoolwork. He found all kinds of excuses not to do his homework, and hid under the table or in the closet, or locked himself in a room. When I caught him, he dropped to the floor and refused to do anything.
He wouldn’t wash his face or brush his teeth. He had long dirty nails, and his clothes were filthy. After he fell asleep one night, I trimmed his nails and washed his clothes. The next morning, he was surprised to find his nails clean and his clothes washed. He asked if I’d done it while he was sleeping, and I just smiled.
My ex-husband warned me his son liked to watch TV and was addicted to video games. He was especially drawn to violent content. He also had frequent nightmares, sleep-talked, and kicked his blanket off at night. I stayed up all night trying to calm him down and keep him covered with a blanket. But I couldn’t keep that up night after night—I needed to rectify his behavior through Dafa.
He came home from school one day, pleased that he only had one poem to memorize as homework. After he was done, I said, “I’m memorizing poems too. Would you help check if I’ve memorized them correctly?” He agreed.
I opened Hong Yin and showed him the poems. He read along while I recited them. I then left the book with him and went to make dinner. When I returned, I was happy to see that he was still reading. I thought, “Maybe Master arranged for him to stay with us so he could obtain the Fa.” The boy hasn’t kicked his blanket off or sleep-talked since. He now sleeps through the night and gets plenty of rest.
I sometimes run into a friend or a neighbor when I drop the boy off at school in the mornings. Some ask me why I still care for my ex-husband’s son and accuse me of having no dignity. A neighbor asked this in front of the little boy one time, and he flew into a rage.
He refused to go to school and threatened to tell his dad on me. He swore he’d say that I didn’t take care of him, and have my ex-husband beat me. His words triggered something deep inside of me, and I was unable to maintain my xinxing. I scolded the boy, “You’re going to tell your dad to beat me? Do you understand who I am to you? You and I have no relation to each other, and I’m not obligated to take care of you at all. I took you in only because you and your father needed help. I didn’t ask for anything in return. And you’re going to have your dad beat me?”
Painful memories rushed back. I remembered the time my ex-husband nearly beat me to death so that I would sign the divorce papers. I felt so angry, but my righteous thoughts took over and dominated my evil nature. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with the child, so I apologized, “I’m sorry. Auntie shouldn’t have gotten so upset. None of this is your fault, and I promise I won’t do it again. Let’s hurry up and get to school.” Seeing that my tone had softened, he climbed into the car.
On our way to school, I talked to him like a friend and explained right and wrong. I told him that I was a cultivator and shouldn’t get angry or lose my temper. I promised I would do better. I told him the meaning of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and what it looks like to apply these principles in our daily lives. I said that when problems arise, he should recite, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also helped him quit the CCP’s Young Pioneers.
I wanted to see if he remembered what I told him, so on another morning I asked if he remembered the auspicious words. He nodded, “Truthfulness means I can’t tell lies. Compassion means I have to be nice to everybody. Forbearance means when other kids bully me, I can’t curse or hit them back. I have to forgive them.” Whenever there was even the slightest improvement in his behavior, I praised him profusely and rewarded him with a small toy or his favorite snack. He became much more kind and considerate.
He used to be a spoiled little brat and nobody could manage his behavior. At school, he bullied and hurt other kids. He once wounded a little boy in the head, and blood gushed out. Another time, he broke a child’s finger. When his mother tried to discipline him, he punched her and bit her finger until it bled. There was nothing his poor mother could do. If anything didn’t go his way, he threw bowls and plates, smashing them and sending shards everywhere. He was self-absorbed and didn’t care about anyone else.
This little boy has now completely turned around. My former sister-in-law asked me, “How did this boy change so much?” I smiled and told her it was all because Dafa has such wonderful power to transform a person from the core.
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