(Minghui.org) When I thought about my cultivation in the past two years, I wondered how Master would look at me. Perhaps his expression would be compassionate but serious. When I looked at Master’s portrait, it was like that. I haven’t stopped doing what I should do, but I recently discovered that I still have many human attachments. I haven’t cultivated well—my cultivation is superficial. When I identified my attachments, I made many excuses for myself. I was not proactive in eliminating them. When I compared myself to very diligent practitioners, I saw there was a gap. When I reflected on my cultivation, I had some insights. Since we are getting close to the end of Fa-rectification, I think Master would like me to find out my fundamental attachments and human thoughts, expose them, and eliminate them. Only in this way can I get closer to the standard that Master asked of us.
My job requires not only some professional skills, but certain social skills. I also have to travel, which requires a lot of mental and physical strength. When I fly from the East Coast to Hawaii, there’s a 6-hour time difference. During my first time on a business trip there, I took a 13-hour flight. Not only did I not have time to adjust to the time difference, I didn’t even have time to settle into my hotel room. I had to rush to a meeting as soon as I got off the plane. Another time, from the time I woke up that day to the time I lay down in bed that night, I took a 6-hour flight, drove for 7 hours, and traveled to 3 cities. Even with such a high-intensity schedule, I couldn’t stop working.
I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I should cultivate myself well and fulfill my mission of helping Master to rectify the Fa. However, we cultivate among ordinary people. Because Master wants us to cultivate in this form to the greatest extent possible, we cannot be disconnected from ordinary society. We must cultivate in ordinary life and keep doing what we should do. In addition to our everyday lives, we should cultivate ourselves and do things to validate Falun Dafa. Coupled with my busy work schedule, I must arrange my time well.
I’ve loved algebra and mathematical reasoning since I was a child. I also liked socializing and bargaining with merchants when I went shopping. After studying the Fa, I realized that this was an attachment, and I also took money lightly. I applied these characteristics to study and work and achieved some small results. After I moved to the U.S., as I matured in cultivation, I was very clear that this was the time and environment that Master created for me to cultivate myself well and fulfill my vows. I must cherish the time and strive to be brave and diligent. My attachment to “calculating” was used to calculate time. I summarized many ways to save time and applied it to insignificant details in life. For example, most people only press the floor button when they take the elevator, and then wait for the elevator door to close automatically. If you press the door closing button, the elevator moves a few seconds faster. I found that if you press the door closing button immediately after entering the elevator and then press the floor button, it will be at least 2 seconds faster than the opposite operation—which is at least 10 seconds faster than most people who only press the floor button.
Life is full of waiting. Waiting for the computer to turn on, for the web page to jump to the expected interface, waiting to cross the red light, waiting while lined up to buy things, waiting to take a vacation, waiting to get paid, waiting for the dawn and dusk, waiting for the day when the persecution will end. We look forward to what we expect while waiting, and we feel disappointed when we learn that what we expect does not come as expected.
I don’t like to wait in vain. I always want to get something going when I have to wait, so that no matter how long I wait, I will gain something. When others are having fun, I’m thinking about the next step in life and what I can do in advance so that I can have more time for the next step. When others relax on weekends and holidays, I study the Fa and practice the exercises in peace. No matter how busy my life is, I use all the time I can, even if it’s just a few minutes, to study the Fa and practice the exercises. Therefore, Master has given me some abilities that allow me to keep a clear and agile mind, work efficiently, and I often get twice the result with half the effort. For example, when I’m waiting in line or waiting for someone, even if it’s only one or two minutes, I use this one or two minutes to recite a Hong Yin poem; if I have ten minutes at home or in a quiet and clean place, I will practice the exercises for ten minutes; if I have half an hour, I will practice the second exercise; if I have a full hour or longer, I will study the Fa for that time, or practice the exercises for that time.
Because I seize the time and do things efficiently, I can balance work, cultivation, Dafa projects and ordinary life very well. But when my actions involve others I sometimes inadvertently hurt people, and I’m also impatient. I also ask people close to me not to waste time, even the slightest unnecessary waste is not allowed. If someone wastes my time, I’m very unhappy. For example, when I drive with my parents, at first they wait until they are about to arrive at the destination before they start to prepare to get out of the car to collect their things, but after my repeated strong requests, they’ve learned to prepare everything before we arrive, so they can open the door and get out of the car as soon as the car stops. I think my dad is slow, has no sense of time, and is not organized. When he asks a lot of questions or repeatedly asks the same questions, I get very impatient. At the supermarket we usually wait in line for a long time before we check out. My dad told me to get in line and he will get the bread. But one day the line was very short, and it was my turn soon. But my dad didn’t come yet, so I got anxious. I thought it was just a matter of a few seconds, why did he need more than a minute? I already let the two people behind me finish their checkout, but he still didn’t come. I started to get angry, thinking that he was always slow to do things, and he had to look around everywhere and wasted time. Then I thought, why am I doing this? When I’m angry I can’t look at others objectively and calmly. I stubbornly think that I’m right and others are wrong. I was not in a hurry that day, so why wasn’t I patient with my father?
One day, several fellow practitioners came to my home, and one mentioned that it was difficult to cultivate patience. Yes, I really get anxious easily, and sometimes I act too hastily and don’t have enough patience with others. When someone comes to discuss something with me without knowing what I consider to be basic common sense, I feel very disgusted and respond to them with a superior attitude. In fact, what else is urgent in the world besides saving people?
Since I was a child, I formed a concept that I can only become better if I’m with excellent people. In my eyes, excellence means people with noble character, wisdom and talent. I look down on people who I feel aren’t virtuous, wise or talented, and I avoid them. Influenced by this concept, I’ve been very self-disciplined since I was a child, yearning for high-end things, and I avoided whatever did not meet my standards. I work hard and seriously on what I do, so I’ve also had some small gains in my life. These gains built my self-confidence, but the self-confidence among ordinary people becomes arrogance if it isn’t handled well.
My life has been very busy since I came to the United States. In addition to my studies and finding a job, I also had to take care of my own life. Then my mother came and I helped her adapt to the environment here and get her ID. My work and life entered a new stage. Later, my father came and I had to handle all kinds of issues, big and small. The hardships in ordinary life and work made me independent, and at the same time, practicing Falun Dafa made me feel that I can face anything without fear. These made my heart tenacious and strong, and I’m more independent in work and life. I realized that cultivation is to cultivate oneself, and no one can replace it, but at the same time, I developed some attachments.
When my mother expressed her views and opinions on something, sometimes after she said a few words, I felt that she either did not understand the essence of the matter, or what she said was wrong or contrary to my ideas. I would quickly interrupt her and I don’t allow her to continue. To those close to me, my reaction was direct and overbearing. Although I don’t seem upset on the surface, I look down on others. Two years after I graduated from college, I started my first management job. This job made me realize that a manager needs to have momentum. If you want to manage people, you need both kindness and power.
After I came to the United States to study and graduated, I gradually entered a management role at work. My job is to manage the projects that the company invested in. Because we are the investors, we are big customers of many companies. In order to do business with us, these companies want to know us and make friends with us, and they are very respectful of us. At first, I didn’t know how to deal with it, because most people learn in the workplace how to cater to others, satisfy customers, and build up their own performance. Maybe many people would say that this is not difficult, but in the mainstream Western society, my appearance makes it easy for people to look down on me. When people see what I, an Asian girl with little experience, can do, some people will find many excuses to not seriously implement the work assigned to me or the specific requirements, which makes it difficult for me to carry out my work smoothly. Gradually, I learned how to manage team members and not be rude. However, I like to show that I’m superior: I am the financial sponsor and I have the final say. Just like my boss taught me, “No matter what A, B, C, and D say, no matter how good their suggestions are, as long as what you say is right, everyone must do it. Because there can only be one boss in a team and the boss can listen to opinions, but the final decision can only be made by the boss alone, and the risks must be borne by the boss alone.” Gradually, I developed the self-confidence and courage required for my job, but this also invisibly fostered my arrogance and self-centeredness.
Since 2023, I’ve been a reporter for the New Tang Dynasty Shen Yun tour in Florida. New Tang Dynasty has clear requirements for interviewees. At the beginning, I found that my attitude towards the interview target and the audience who could not be my interview target was obviously different from the inside to the outside. I was very enthusiastic about the target; when I engaged with the audience who were not the target, I was thinking in my heart that I didn’t want to waste my time and I was stingy with even a smile. Even with the audience who had been interviewed, I had the mentality of throwing them away after use.
During the promotion of Shen Yun, this heart of mine was also very prominent. I was very friendly, enthusiastic, and patient with people who contacted me for information, asked about Shen Yun, or wanted to buy tickets. However, I had negative thoughts about people who were indifferent, such as “You just can’t be saved” or “You just don’t deserve it.” These thoughts and ideas neither have the kindness and broad-mindedness of a cultivator, nor the realm of a cultivator who is not moved by anything in the world. Every sentient being who comes to see Shen Yun is precious, and I cannot look at others differently just because they are useless for my interview. After realizing my bad heart, I changed my mindset during the promotion and performance of Shen Yun. I always reminded myself to treat sentient beings with the kindness and compassion of a cultivator. Even if someone is mean to me, maybe they are paying off the karmic debt between us. Seeing each other is fate. Maybe they want me to plant the seeds of hope for future salvation in the other person. In any case, cultivators should not have any bad thoughts towards ordinary people.
Every interview for Shen Yun performances is very stressful for reporters. In a short period of time, we not only need to find the right interviewee to complete the interview with a certain depth, but also need to interview a certain quantity of people. Fortunately, fellow practitioners helped us a lot. Although there is pressure and we cannot reach the level of professional reporters, we can still complete the basic task. Once, I saw a fellow practitioner chatting with an audience member. That was exactly the interviewee I wanted, so I asked her to bring the person over. Afterwards, a fellow practitioner jokingly said to me, “You are becoming more and more powerful now, and you have the style of a big-name reporter.” Although she said it casually and perhaps with some encouragement, it made me realize that I was unconsciously giving people the impression of being self-righteous.
When I said something to my mother at home, she jokingly said, “Why do you talk like a manager?” Although behind these words and deeds, I did not have any intention of showing off, this feedback made me realize that I’ve become so strong that I didn’t even realize it. One time, my boss said in a casual chat that she told others I was a gun. I once had a boss who said I was a weapon. I wasn’t sure if I understood the connotation well, and I didn‘t know whether it was a compliment or criticism, so I asked my American friend. My friend knows me and my work very well. She said this is absolutely a compliment, and you are really fast and accurate. But as a cultivator, such an evaluation helped me discover my attachments. Cultivators cultivate goodness and should show kindness and compassion. If I look like a lethal weapon in the eyes of ordinary people, then how much karma have I created in ignorance?
In the 2024 Shen Yun Journey to the West, when the Ox King (a demon figure) appeared, he was arrogant, egocentric, and overbearing. This image reminded me of myself. When I act very egoistically, do others see me like this? This is the aura of a demon, not a god or Buddha. Thinking about my old self, I found that I was quite annoying. Maybe this is something that can only be seen and felt after I improve.
I used to take some of my characteristics for granted, and thought that everyone should be the same. For example, the ability to understand something, concentration, and memory. These abilities seem to be needed by everyone living in this society, but each person is given different abilities by heaven. I cannot use ordinary people’s concepts to look at a person or thing, especially a fellow practitioner. For example, if a fellow practitioner does not seem to be diligent, I will one-sidedly think that this person is lazy. Maybe there is a reason for her laziness, maybe she has a lot of karmic obstacles in some aspects, and a slightly weak righteous mind will seriously interfere with her progress in cultivation. As a cultivator, your abilities or characteristics in certain areas are actually given by Master. You get them because of the blessings of cultivation, and more importantly, because of the need for Fa-rectification and saving people. You cannot take credit for what you have done, and you cannot create karma or develop ordinary people's concepts and attachments because of this.
I have been in the United States for eleven years. These eleven years are the eleven years of my true cultivation. I once confidently told a fellow practitioner that Master said,
““When a wise person hears the Tao, this person will practice it diligently. When an average person hears it, this person will practice it on and off. When a foolish person hears it, this person will laugh at it loudly. If this person doesn’t laugh at it loudly, it’s not the Tao.”” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I think there are no inferior persons among us practitioners. Before I came to the U.S. I felt I was an inferior person. I knew in my heart that Dafa was good and I had to cultivate, but I still attached great importance to ordinary life and beautiful, romantic youth. I was full of expectations and fantasies about life. But after I truly cultivated, I felt I was a superior person. Not only has my life changed beyond recognition, but I also feel that I will never give up Dafa, cultivation, and the mission that Master has entrusted to me. In addition to my normal life, I spend most of my spare time doing three things. However, when I read the passage in Hong Yin Volume VI “The Challenges of Saving Self and Other,” I felt a little empty inside. Oh, I seem to be still wavering between the lower officer and the middle officer. It seems that it is still difficult to achieve “The superior man meets adversity head-on with a smile” (“The Challenges of Saving Self and Other,” Hong Yin Volume VI)
When I calmly examined myself, I found that although I seemed to be doing a lot, I still did not study the Fa or send forth righteous thoughts enough. Sometimes I did not study the Fa with my heart, and my sending forth righteous thoughts was just a formality. Although I kept reminding myself to let go of fame, wealth, and emotion, my originally peaceful mood was disturbed by various issues at work and my interactions with ordinary people. Although I let go of them, I was stirred up again and and to let go of them again. Back and forth, over and over again, it seemed repetitive, but in fact, each experience was a process of slowly cultivating and improving.
I would like to express my gratitude to Master for his great compassion again, and to all the practitioners who helped me. I hope that we can make good use of our last moments together, live up to Master’s compassion and salvation, live up to the expectations of history and sentient beings, fulfill our vows, and smoothly walk through this historic time and follow Master into the new era.
(Selected article presented at the 2025 Florida Fa Conference)
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
