(Minghui.org) Being a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, I know I should assist Master Li in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings, and never forget the responsibilities and mission I shoulder. I am clearly aware that by doing the three things, I fall far short compared to diligent practitioners. However, practitioners around me think that my righteous thoughts are strong, I have good enlightenment quality, and clarify the truth well. Over time, my attachment to showing off started to grow, and tests and tribulations followed one after another.
The Consequences
For some time, certain residential communities displayed posters in their street display boards that slandered Master and defamed Dafa. Several practitioners and I removed them one by one with Master’s protection.
Most of these glass display cases were located directly across from the security guard room in the residential community and had cameras pointing directly at them. To avoid detection, one of us held an umbrella and opened a bag, while another quickly pried open the lock with a screwdriver, tore down the poster, stuffed it into the bag, and then we left.
Once, when we pried the case open, the noise was very loud, and a guard came out to see what was going on. Just then, a motorcycle roared past. We used the distraction as cover and left without being seen. When the guard checked the surveillance footage, that period of time was completely blank. Similar incidents happened a few other times. Although some of them seemed quite dangerous, in the end, no practitioners were harmed.
Coordinators often asked me to visit practitioners who were going through sickness karma, to share experiences and exchange understandings with them. From their approving looks and the admiring tones of others, I gradually developed attachments to showing off, feeling elated, validating myself, and even taking credit for what Master did for us. I felt quite pleased with myself. Although I knew that Master arranged everything, the attachments remained because I did not truly cultivate in the Fa.
Once, on my way to a practitioner’s home to study the Fa, I was walking down the road when the person in front of me suddenly stuck out his leg and tripped me. I fell heavily to the ground, with my left foot pinned beneath my body. The pain was so intense that I couldn’t get up. The practitioner walking ahead turned around and saw me on the ground; she helped me up. Enduring the pain and hobbling along, I silently said to Master: “Master, please help me.”
The pain immediately eased, and I continued to the practitioner’s home. However, on the way back, my left foot was badly swollen and bruised, and I couldn’t bear any weight on it. I was hopping as I walked.
When I got home, I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. I didn’t truly look within or enlighten to why the incident happened; instead, I asked Master to help me recover quickly. Amazingly, the next day I was able to do the Dafa exercises as usual in the morning. With Master’s compassion, my foot was back to normal by the following day.
I returned to the Fa study site with the attachment of showing practitioners how quickly my foot had healed. As a result, I was arrested that day and taken to a detention center.
Looking Inward and Saving People in the Detention Center
At the detention center, I recited Hong Yin,sent forth righteous thoughts, and looked inward every day. But I couldn’t stay focused. Because of my loopholes, the old forces were able to take advantage of me, which led to my being persecuted.
When I looked within, I found many attachments, including a tendency to show off, vanity, zealotry, resentment, a craving for praise, and the need to validate myself. Every day, I discovered an attachment I hadn’t noticed before, and I assured Master that I was committed to thoroughly correcting myself. I believed I shouldn’t be here and felt I had to find a way out.
No matter where Dafa practitioners go, we must validate the Fa, never forget to clarify the truth, and help Master save sentient beings. When lining up for meals, the rule was that those who arrived later would go to the end of the line. New people were coming in almost every day, and I let them go before me. I always lined up at the back. Other detainees grabbed the meal boxes that had more food, so the last ones usually contained less food.
In one cell, 30 to 40 people are housed together. Two people share a mattress, and there are 20 mattresses in total. After sleeping, the mattresses must be stacked neatly, but only two people move them—it’s hard work and it has to be done twice a day. Although I am not expected to do that job because of my age, I always help whoever does it.
The newly arrived inmates usually cry at first. I comfort and encourage them. I tell them about Dafa and help them quit the CCP.
The inmates often fought with each other, and I helped mediate the conflicts. They all respected me. Whatever their age, whether old or young, they called me “Auntie.” Some people have said that it would be wonderful if everyone had the same character as “Auntie.” A few people said they would miss me when I’m released.
Because my family didn’t know I was being held in the detention center, no one deposited any cash for me. I couldn’t buy anything. Other inmates shared their food or daily necessities with me, and I was moved by their genuine kindness.
As soon as I arrived at the detention center, someone who had been there for a while told me, “You Falun Dafa practitioners are usually released after 30 days.” So I thought I had time to help one inmate quit the CCP each day. Unexpectedly, I was released after 20 days. I deeply regretted not using the time to help everyone quit the CCP.
At the detention center, one guard verbally abused us fiercely. Every day, I sent righteous thoughts towards her and wished that she would treat Dafa practitioners kindly.
Once, this guard spoke to me. To my surprise, she asked, in a very gentle tone, if anyone had bullied me. I told her no one had. She then asked: “Do you have any difficulties? I will take care of you. I won’t punish you.”
I used to regard studying the Fa as a formality. When I studied with other practitioners, I didn’t absorb the Fa. I mistook being busy with high-profile activities for genuine cultivation and viewed face-to-face truth clarification as a task to complete.
After leaving the detention center, I spent my time making truth-clarification calendars and distributing them. I also went to residential areas and rural villages to hand out DVDs, booklets, and other materials. I even went near public security bureaus, courts and procuratorates, detention centers, and sent righteous thoughts. I was always busy, constantly rushing. Only after being detained did I realize how little I had truly studied the Fa and that I hadn’t genuinely cultivated myself.
I have come to realize that in the past, I used my age as an excuse for not giving enough attention to memorizing and reciting the Fa. I began reciting the Fa with a calm mind. Over the past five years, I have recited Zhuan Falun 18 times. I will continue to do so, fully melt myself in the Fa, constantly purify and rectify myself, and live according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Only through studying the Fa well will the power of saving beings manifest.
I will be more diligent in my cultivation and live up to compassionate Master’s salvation and boundless grace.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
