(Minghui.org) I want to share my cultivation experiences of memorizing the Fa and overcoming tribulations over the last two years, as well as some understandings I gained about Master’s mighty grace during this process.
Going to Tiananmen Square to Appeal for Dafa as a Child
After reading Master’s new article “The Ordeals Our Spiritual Discipline Faces,” I felt the unprecedented seriousness of cultivation, just like a critical, most solemn moment I experienced in 1999. This was not trivial. I realized I had to quickly switch to a most diligent state and focus on cultivating and saving people.
I recalled what I went through at the beginning of the ordeals in 1999. I was 8 years old then. I am grateful to my parents, fellow practitioners, who did not regard me as a child, but instead treated me like their young, fellow practitioner in those difficult times. Regarding major matters, such as whether to participate in the April 25 peaceful protest in Beijing or to go to Tiananmen Square to hold a banner or do the exercises, they would seek my opinion and ask if I wanted to go with them. Every time I said, “I want to go, too.” Looking back, my thoughts were not as complicated then. Perhaps it was my true nature in control. I would think, “I am a Dafa disciple too, so I should take part in such activities.”
I went with my parents to Tiananmen Square to hold a banner. When we walked out onto Tiananmen Square, a child that young shouldn’t have knowm what fear was, yet I truly felt afraid. Maybe it was due to the evil in other dimensions. I was so terrified that I had a stomachache. I sat down to rest and leaned against a pole. My parents came over and looked at me anxiously. They asked, “Do you think you can still go?” I recall lifting my head and looking at them. I forget how I finally summoned the courage, but I stood up and opened the banner with them on Tiananmen Square. A police car soon drove up and we were arrested. There was another practitioner in the car. She looked at me and asked, “Aren’t you afraid?” I said to her touching my heart, “My heart was beating so hard just now, I was so scared!” My gesture and tone of voice made her laugh.
We were taken to a nearby police station. I cannot remember all the details now, but one scene has stayed with me. Many practitioners were held in a yard behind the police station. They sat together in circles on the cement reciting Master’s poems from Hong Yin and teachings from Essentials for Further Advancement in a loud, clear voice. As I was so young then, I could not completely understand the significance of that scene, but when I recall this now, it makes me want to cry. Those practitioners displayed such awe-inspiring righteousness that it spurs me on every time I think of it.
The reason I wanted to share this experience is that I thought of my parents and several older practitioners. When the persecution began in 1999, they had to let go of life and death if they wanted to step up and appeal for Dafa. They had to let go of their families, their careers, their children, and everything just to safeguard the Fa.
Now, facing these recent incidents, how can I fulfill my responsibility as a disciple and a particle in Dafa?
I recently participated in sending righteous thoughts for an hour at night. Compared to the practitioners in China who risk their lives to safeguard the Fa, it was nothing more than a bit of fatigue physically and mentally for me. It was just a matter of being slightly more diligent in cultivation. It was such an insignificant effort to send righteous thoughts more and have less time to sleep.
At first, it was hard for me to concentrate while sending righteous thoughts for a long time. But after 40 minutes, I suddenly felt a compassionate energy. I felt the compassion Master has in wanting to save all sentient beings. Tears streamed down my face. I usually felt very tired mentally when sending righteous thoughts, but in that moment, I did not feel worn out.
I think now is the opportunity for young practitioners like us to be mature in cultivation and at work. We should be able to take on more responsibility, help share the load with older practitioners, and play our parts.
Master’s Protection While Going Through Tribulations
I also want to share with everyone how I felt Master’s protection while going through tribulations. I ran into a huge xinxing test last year that came up unexpectedly. It should have been unbearable for me based on my cultivation level at the time. Yet, strangely, when it happened, although I found it hard to endure, my mind was exceptionally clear. I was able to remember that I was a practitioner and think of Master’s teachings. I thought it was strange that I could remain so calm, and my mind was so clear under such circumstances.
When I told my mother about it, I learned that, sometime earlier that day, while she had been doing the exercises, a thought had come to her that Master wanted her to send righteous thoughts for me. She thought it was strange, but she stopped doing her exercises and sent righteous thoughts for a long time, until she felt the evil persecuting me was nearly all eliminated. When I returned home that night and told her about the tribulation I had just encountered, we realized that Master had made arrangements for a fellow practitioner to help me before we knew that I would run into this ordeal.
On another occasion, while going through a big tribulation, just as I thought I could not overcome it, I dreamed of Master. Master was especially compassionate. He knew the problems I was experiencing and kindly encouraged me. Master also said some words in the dream, but I cannot remember them now. The gist of it was that he knows the hardships every disciple endures and knows it is not easy for us, particularly those in China. In my dream, Master also showed me a white list of names. I saw the circumstances of many disciples in China recorded on it. Master knows all their suffering and constantly thinks of them. He hopes everyone can follow him step-by-step. In the end, Master said there are many things he needs to hand over to us. When I woke up, I was grateful for Master’s hints. I also realized that, in fact, although often practitioners outside China find it tough as well, we should do more to alleviate the burden on practitioners in China, because we are in a free environment.
Another time I was reading the Fa in the morning before going to an activity. I felt that Master kept showing me the words “your heart should not be moved.” I thought it was a bit strange but said to myself, “Master, I will remember these words and not let my heart be moved.” When I attended the event that day, I did indeed encounter an unexpected test of my xinxing. Luckily, I thought of the reminder Master had given me in the morning. I told myself repeatedly not to be affected, that everything is a illusion and test, and I managed to pass the tribulation.
A few months ago, I did something a Dafa disciple should not do. I regretted it and knew I was wrong. In recent years, I would sometimes encounter retribution for doing something wrong, so when I made a mistake this time, I felt a little perturbed. I thought I would be punished, there was no other way, I had to pay back karma for incurring it, I could not shirk responsibility for doing the wrong thing.
But one night, I dreamed of Master, who told me I was indeed wrong, but he helped bear the karma I had incurred and eliminated it. When Master spoke to me in my dream, he did not criticize me but helped me understand it in a kind manner. The next afternoon, I began to have flu-like symptoms. It lasted for several days. I felt a little uncomfortable but it was very mild and did not affect my normal work or life. I truly felt this karma could have come with great force. In the end, when it truly manifested, it was superficial and I bore it without much discomfort.
I was weeping in my heart, though. I was moved by Master’s compassion for a disciple who had let him down. It also made me realize that, in the past, when I had thought I was being punished for doing the wrong thing, Master had actually helped me bear most of it already. Otherwise, I would not have been able to continue practicing.
Memorizing the Fa
Several years ago, after I joined a truth-clarification project, while studying the Fa together, I saw practitioners memorizing Zhuan Falun. I was moved. While sharing with young practitioners in other projects later, I discovered that many of them were memorizing the Fa. Some had already memorized Zhuan Falun. It made me see the gap between myself and them. I made up my mind to memorize the Fa. I had also been listening to experience sharing articles on persisting with memorizing the Fa on Minghui radio. Practitioners shared that it was hard to persist in remembering Master’s teachings by heart, but it was a great help in their cultivation. This encouraged me greatly. I thus succeeded in memorizing Zhuan Falun cover to cover twice. In recent years, I have continued to memorize the Fa. I have noticed many details and Fa principles I had failed to see when I was reading the Fa before.
Over the past two years, I have been memorizing Master’s new articles repeatedly from “How Humankind Came to Be,” “Why Save Sentient Beings,” “Stay Far Away From Peril,” and the latest article “Critical Times Reveal One’s Spiritual State.” I have memorized nearly every article and recite them repeatedly. My heart is stirred every time; words cannot express my feelings.
The more I memorize the Fa, the clearer my heart feels. The first time I read each article, it would hit me. After reading it several times, I felt the profound meaning behind it; human thoughts could hardly comprehend it. I cannot digest it no matter how many times I read it. I also often felt its impact while memorizing the article. At times, I had to pause after memorizing several sentences. It seemed that the effect on human thinking is so great that I find it hard to bear. Other times, due to Master’s immense compassion that I felt from the articles, it was as if my whole body, every cell, was shaken. I was crying inside as a result of such great compassion. I needed to take a break before continuing to memorize the article.
When I could remember these articles well by heart, I would keep reciting them in my heart whenever I had time. I memorized them as I walked, as I traveled in the car, in my spare time, and before going to bed. The more I memorized them, the more I was shaken up, and the more I felt how profound they were. Words cannot express the might of Master’s grace that I felt. I also realized how honored and fortunate I am to be a Dafa disciple, the huge mission a Dafa disciple has, and the importance of fulfilling our vows.
I thought I would not grasp the meaning of “The Ordeals Our Spiritual Discipline Faces” and “A Wake-Up Call” by simply reading them. Only by remembering them by heart would I be able to always remember Master’s criticisms and painstaking guidance, and constantly refer to them in my speech and behavior. I wondered how Master could be so compassionate to beings, including Dafa disciples. My understanding is that Master can choose to ignore beings like us in the old universe. If beings in the old universe dissolve, Master can create new lives and universes in a matter of one thought. In order to save lives in the old universe that has deteriorated, he created an environment for us in which to cultivate—the Three Realms—and arranged for us to come here so that we can assimilate to the Fa. Now he watches over us and every sentient being. When salvation started in this life, Master bore boundless sins for us and arranged opportunities for us to be saved so that we can fulfill our vows and mission and save our sentient beings.
In the face of such mighty grace that cannot be described, I feel so small and everything in this world becomes so small. I only want to fulfill the vow I made to Master.
Changing Through Solid Cultivation
After I began to memorize Master’s new articles, another experience I had was that I was able to quickly overcome tests and get rid of attachments.
I had been acting as a coordinator on my team for several years. In the past few years, my mindset has changed tremendously, particularly after I started memorizing Master’s new articles repeatedly. In the past, I’d often felt tired and resentful. Now, I no longer think this way, and I’ve stopped putting my energy into complaining. Every member in the project has their own pressures and responsibilities, so with anything that comes to me, I need to take responsibility and think of how to work together, fill in the gaps, and focus on how to complete the task well, how to see the big picture, and how to balance various elements and resolve problems.
I often thank Master for giving me, a being in the old cosmos, the opportunity to be saved. I am grateful to Master for arranging for me to participate in a big project to save sentient beings. When I think of how my life can be extended, I see and feel everything comes from Master’s suffering, and it is hard for me to feel any resentment.
Recently, those negative thoughts such as disliking, complaining, low spirits, jealousy, anxiety, and so on seem to pop up less and less. Although I still have many attachments, and when they are touched upon I will behave badly, the greatest difference is that I can quickly and clearly tell that they are not me. I must quickly eliminate them. When problems arise, I look within instantly, distinguish the bad matter, then tell myself that I must dispel and get rid of such bad things at once. I cannot allow them to stay in my dimension.
When my cultivation state is good, I ask Master to give me strength, and I look within when difficulties appear at work. It would then be as if I suddenly figured it out, or certain things would be resolved all of a sudden.
I now realize that conflicts don’t appear without a reason. I should listen and communicate with a considerate and kind mindset. I must also look at myself. Then I often discover that I have the same problems as those I see in the other party. The conflict happened so that I could improve. When I can think like this, I’ve discovered that it is easy to resolve these disagreements. As I’ve run into more of such things, I’ve felt that cultivating is truly extraordinary.
Why was it that, often in the past, I knew the principles but could not conduct myself according to Dafa and seemed to drag my feet while going through tribulations? Perhaps it was because I put myself above Dafa. I put my resentment above Dafa and sentient beings. I was being selfish. I am now able to pass tests quickly because I truly understand Dafa and the seriousness of cultivation. I truly put Dafa in the top position in my heart. Because my heart is filled with gratitude and respect for Master, I am able to think of Master and Dafa’s requirements first in everything and consider problems from the perspective of the needs of the Fa rectification. I will not allow myself to let my selfishness and attachments affect the progress of the project and sentient beings’ salvation.
Another change is that I’ve truly realized the danger of emotions. I am gradually understanding how it feels to not be affected by sentiment, as Master has described. Indeed, matter like emotions is a kind of karma. When this matter is removed, it will be replaced by compassion. Looking back, when I had strong emotions, I could not feel it, but many times I was selfish, irrational, and doing things in extreme ways. I also understood that an attachment itself is a form of matter. One will suffer from pain when one has attachments, because there is karma, and eliminating karma itself is a painstaking process.
When a lot of matter, such as emotions, are removed, I have experienced what it is like to be truly rational and considerate. This brings about a complete change in the way I think.
What has really shocked me in recent years is that my whole way of thinking and state of mind has completely changed after improving my realm of thought by going through these heart-wrenching tribulations.
Concluding Remarks
I slowly understood that cultivation is trusting in Master, trusting that Master can save us. Master has given us all abilities and wisdom to save sentient beings, so we need to trust that everything Master has arranged for us is the best.
I feel that I am just a minuscule particle in the vastness of Dafa. Whatever I do is just fulfilling my part, a particle. Whenever I think like this, I feel as if I am one with the vast universe. I gradually forget about the existence of self. My gratitude for Master feels like it fills the entire dimension.
Fellow practitioners, we are the most fortunate beings in the universe to have Master offering us salvation. In this final, critical moment in history, I hope we will not let Master down, will not let sentient beings down, because they are waiting for us to save them. I hope we can cultivate just like when we first began and fulfill our vows.
The above are my personal understandings. Please point out anything that is not in line with the Fa.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Cultivation Insights
