(Minghui.org) I was an only child. My upbringing made me a very proud person. I couldn’t stand it when I was wronged or misunderstood, and had to explain myself right away. If I didn’t, I couldn’t stop thinking: “Why didn’t I made that point at the time? Why didn’t I explain it that way? How come that person just wouldn’t believe me?” Such situations often left me feeling resentful and holding a grudge against the person who wronged me.
The practice of Falun Dafa turned me into a different person. The following are some of my experiences.
Upset With My Mother-in-Law for Two Months
When I became pregnant, my mother-in-law, who lived over 300 miles away, moved in to take care of me. I wasn’t a Dafa practitioner at the time, and since I had done well in school, I believed that I knew more than I actually did. As a result, when interacting with my mother-in-law, our ideologies often collided, and I didn’t agree with her about many things. Nonetheless, because my own mother was a practitioner and had taught me to be respectful, I still treated my mother-in-law well.
She worked hard and took care of me for several months, so that summer I decided that she’d appreciate the opportunity to return home and take a break. I planned to go stay with my parents during that time. I was excited to share my idea with her, thinking that she would agree since I was being considerate of her. To my surprise, instead of being pleased, her face fell. After a moment of silence, she said, “What do you mean? Are you trying to get rid of me?”
I was caught off guard, because I didn’t think that at all. I quickly explained to her that I only wanted her to get some rest. She wouldn’t listen to me and kept complaining about it.
When my husband got home that night, she told him what happened. At dinner, she said that, years ago her mother-in-law had gone to live with her oldest son. The son’s wife didn’t treat her well and only gave her an old worn-out quilt to sleep under. Her mother-in-law left, refusing to live with her son anymore.
My mother-in-law was hinting that she was being nice and still willing to live with us even after I “humiliated” her. My husband wasn’t having it and said, “Are you saying that we are being disrespectful?” She stopped complaining, knowing that her son didn’t like her acting that way.
Things didn’t end there. My mother-in-law called my father-in-law that evening and complained about me. He later called and asked me what happened, so I had to explain it to him all over again.
Over the next few days, I repeatedly explained myself, but my mother-in-law didn’t want to listen. I was getting really upset and called my father to complain. He said, “She put down what she was doing, left home, and came all this way to take care of you. It’s not easy for her, so let it go.” I stopped fighting with her, but I still held a grudge. That summer, neither of us went back to our hometowns. Our relationship was awkward.
Falun Dafa Helped Me Improve
After our daughter was born soon after, I suffered from postpartum depression. I then became a Falun Dafa practitioner. Even though I understood there were predestined karmic relations between people, I just couldn’t get over the fact that my mother-in-law had judged me unfairly and assumed that I was a bad person.
As my understandings of the Fa grew, I one day felt sympathetic toward my mother-in-law. Her parents had passed away soon after she was born, so she’d been raised by relatives and became very sensitive. Though I did not mean to drive her away, it didn’t change the fact that I hurt her feelings. My heart was moved, and I felt guilty and sorry for her. I decided to let it go and never mentioned it again.
Our daughter was almost 10, and my mother-in-law had lived with us on and off for about eight years. The principles of Falun Dafa changed my opinion of her, and I treated her kindly. She was also very nice to me, like I was her own daughter, and she confided in me.
When my mother-in-law was back home, she always felt a little depressed and the need to be very careful around people at work and at home. She always believed that her supervisor wanted to fire her and her coworkers disliked her. Her father-in-law treated her badly, and she didn’t know whom to talk to when she felt stressed and sad. At times she’d just talk to strangers.
Living with me, she was able to talk to me comfortably, and when she felt depressed, I would use Dafa’s principles to change her way of thinking. Gradually, she became more optimistic. She often had a smile on her face and looked younger than her age. One day she ran into an old friend who said in surprise, “How come you still look so young? You didn’t stay at your son’s home, did you?”
Just when I thought there wouldn’t be any more misunderstandings between us, something else happened. I had a very busy day, and in the evening I realized that my purse was missing. I looked everywhere for it, because my keys and important ID cards were inside. I was worried and anxious and asked my husband if he’d seen it. He replied curtly, “Who knows?”
I couldn’t remember if I had left it outside or if I’d even brought it with me when I left home. I asked my daughter if she had seen me bring my purse with me when I took her to school that morning. She said I did, because I’d bought groceries.
I was getting frantic and murmured, “Oh, I hope I didn’t lose it outside.” Seeing that I was upset, she said, “I’ll go ask Grandma.” She was used to asking her grandma when she couldn’t find her things because Grandma picked up after her. I quickly said, “Don’t. Grandma wouldn’t know.”
I didn’t move fast enough to keep her from running into her grandma’s room. When I got there and tried to explain what had happened, my mother-in-law said coldly, “How would I know where your purse is?” Then she said, “Check the bed.” I hurried over to the bed, and found my purse under the folded clothes. Relieved and happy, I thanked her for her help.
A few moments later, my mother-in-law stormed out of her room and said angrily, “You sent the child to ask me, so you think I took your purse?” I quickly explained what happened again, but she didn’t buy it. “If you had done something like this at a workplace, you’d be in trouble,” she said.
I went along and said, “I agree, one shouldn’t do things this way at work. But we are family. And I didn’t send the child to ask you about it, she did so on her own.”
“A child wouldn’t do that if you didn’t send her!” she was even more infuriated.
Just then my husband stood up from his chair and said to his mother, “Why are you being so long-winded? She was just asking where her purse was!”
“Why didn’t she ask you!?”
“She did! I couldn’t be bothered.”
I kept apologizing to her, trying to ease the tension. She eventually went into her room. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that it was finally over.
The next morning after breakfast, while I was getting ready to take our daughter to school, my mother-in-law repeated everything she’d said the day before. She even told a story about how her mother-in-law used to accuse her youngest daughter-in-law of taking her money when they lived together. The daughter-in-law was so enraged that she called several relatives to come over in the middle of the night to look for the money. In the end, the money was found in a crack of her mother-in-law’s bed. The daughter-in-law had a strained relationship with her mother-in-law after that.
She told the story to hint that I didn’t handle the issue properly and that it could seriously jeopardize our relationship. I reassured her that it was nothing but a misunderstanding and asked her not to let it bother her.
Listening to his mother repeatedly nagging about the same issue, my husband lost his temper and yelled at his mother. I calmed him down and said, “Mom’s right, I didn’t handle it properly.”
I comforted my mother-in-law and sincerely apologized: “Mom, it’s my fault. I was not organized and lost track of my purse. When I lived with my parents, I often couldn’t find my purse and had to ask them to help me find it. My mom would always help me look but not my dad. He would scold me and say that I was so unorganized that I would end up wasting a third of my life looking for things. I promise I will find a fixed place for my purse and phone, and this won’t happen again. And I should have stopped the child from asking you about it. I should have been more considerate. I was mainly worried about losing the ID cards and keys, not the money, so please don’t overthink it.”
By the time I finished talking, she didn’t seem as upset and said, “Yes, you are quite forgetful.” I promised her to be more mindful. Seeing that she had calmed down, I took my daughter to school so she wouldn’t be late.
But it still wasn’t over. Two days later, my mother-in-law came into the kitchen while I was cooking and told me that she was going to the dentist. Not giving it too much thought, I said that I’d save something for her to eat later.
When she returned, she seemed upset, saying that the dentist told her that she would have to wait two months before he could install the denture. I comforted her and told her to wait patiently. She replied, “I need to hurry. I might be going back to my hometown in a few days.”
This came out of nowhere, and it was then I realized that she was still sour about the purse incident. That worried me, because we had two children by then, and both my husband and I worked, so we really needed her help at home.
My heart sank. During the whole time, though I wasn’t exactly at peace, it didn’t bother me much as long as I believed that she understood me. At that moment I felt helpless and thought, “She kept saying that I wronged her, but she was the person who wronged me! Why is she so hard to get along with?”
I began to look within and asked myself, “Why is this happening? Is there more I can do to make things better? Do I still resent her? Did I sincerely not want to argue with her, or did I just want to save face and show off?” The answer was that I wasn’t a hundred percent grudge-free and altruistic.
This time, I wanted to apologize to her without reservation. I was humble, sincere, and considerate. I said to her, “Mom, I am sorry for being unreliable and forgetful. I truly thought of you as my own mother, so I instinctively asked you about my purse. Please forgive me.” She smiled and went back to her room.
At dinner time, she said to me with a smile on her face, “I am a forthright person, and I speak my mind. Don’t let what I say bother you.” I knew she was starting to forgive me, so I responded, “It’s good to be straightforward. You should bring up whatever bothers you, and we can fix it together. I am fine. I don’t blame my daughter—she meant well when she asked for your help. Wouldn’t you agree?” She seemed to have finally accepted the idea that it was the child’s decision to ask her, not mine. She never talked about returning home after that day. I then made a special place for my purse, and I never lost it again.
Looking back, I was surprised I’d done that well when I was being judged unfairly. Without me noticing, the Fa had helped me to improve.
I Laughed When My Father-in-Law Wrongly Accused Me
My father-in-law was strong-willed and opinionated. No explanation could change his mind. One day he and I took my daughter to the hospital. While we were waiting for our turn, he sat with her, and I sat near a stranger. I wanted to clarify the truth to that person, so I started by asking him how long he’d been waiting.
He told me it had been a long time even though his wife was a doctor there because there were so many sick children. His child and his mother were sitting behind him. I talked about the COVID-19 pandemic, and he happened to say that Changchun was his hometown. I asked him if he knew that was where Falun Dafa was first taught. He said, “Yes, I lived very close to Mr. Li Hongzhi. Many of my high school classmates practiced Falun Dafa, but I didn’t.” I spoke to him some more and helped him quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. He then turned around to talk to his mother.
A few days after that, during a casual conversation, my father-in-law suddenly got upset and said, “When we were at the hospital, you talked with a man for a long time. And then I saw him hug you. That was unacceptable!” His stared at me angrily. I couldn’t believe that my father-in-law thought of me that way. If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, I would have flipped the table over and argued until he apologized. Instead, I calmly explained that the man had turned around to talk to his mother, not to hug me.
My father-in-law didn’t believe me and said some harsh words. I didn’t tell him that I was talking to that man about Falun Dafa, because he firmly believed the CCP’s propaganda and wouldn’t ever let me do that.
As I continued to try to explain to him what happened at the hospital, I couldn’t help but laugh, thinking this whole thing was ridiculous. Master’s words then came to mind:
“If you hear someone say that you want to commit some horrible crime, you’ll just find it amusing. (Master laughs) You will think, “How could that be possible?” and will laugh it off. You won’t take it seriously at all. Since you don’t even have that thought, those words can’t touch you.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
Knowing the kind of person my father-in-law was, I stopped arguing. Though I still felt wronged, at least on the surface I was calm. I looked within and thought that maybe I still had the attachment to lust.
Over the years, I’ve been wronged by my in-laws, my husband, and my supervisors at work many times. Sometimes I felt resentful, but more often, I let go of my resentment and followed the principles of Falun Dafa.
I started practicing Falun Dafa relatively late, and I’ve been practicing alone. Sometimes I felt that I wasn’t good enough and even that I was terrible. But if I looked at my sharing articles in the past, in the end, I always concluded that Falun Dafa has been continually changing and purifying me.
Thank you, Falun Dafa. Thank you, Master!
(Selected submission for the 2026 China Fa Conference on Minghui.org)
