(Minghui.org) My mother-in-law was 82 years old when she suddenly passed away in April 2020. I was still working, so I wasn’t able to help care for her. I deeply felt the importance of cherishing my family connections. My mother was also 82 that year, and my father was 83. Both my parents were in relatively good health. My father was able to take care of himself, but he didn’t like going downstairs. My younger brother cooked for them, and my father’s pension of 3,000 yuan went to him. My three sisters and I took turns caring for our father at night.
I started giving my younger brother money every month. After my child got married, I felt I had no more burdens, so I wanted to help. During the COVID-19 pandemic, his junior high school-age child had complications about a month after he was vaccinated. They went to various hospitals and spent a lot of money, but nothing helped.
My brother then took his son to see doctors in other cities. We repeatedly told him the truth about Dafa and even downloaded some related articles from Minghui.org for him to read to his son. But he wouldn’t listen and even said some negative things about Dafa. He wouldn’t let his child watch NTDTV or have any contact with us. His wife divorced him. His son was admitted to a top high school, but dropped out after one semester.
Identifying My Attachments
Why didn’t my brother accept the truth and he even opposed it? When I looked inward, I realized I looked down on him. My words were impatient and tinged with resentment. I thought, “Falun Dafa is so good, it doesn’t cost you anything. Why won’t you listen? How stupid are you?” I used ordinary people’s ways of thinking, which was why he didn’t accept the truth.
By 2022, my father was no longer able to care for himself. He had prostate problems and frequently wet his pants. We told him the truth about Dafa, but he initially didn’t believe us. My sisters took turns staying overnight, and my younger brother cooked during the day and left around 3 or 4 p.m. He did little to help, but took my father’s money. He spent hours on his phone or sleeping—he did not clean the house or help bathe our father. My sisters were all dissatisfied with him.
I stayed with our father while my brother worked away from home for 18 days. I felt unhappy and wronged. My Fa study and truth-clarification efforts were interrupted, and I resented him. I looked inward and thought, “I’m a cultivator. I should treat hardship as joy; it’s all a good thing. What’s there to be uncomfortable about? Hasn’t Master arranged this situation to help me eliminate karma? I should thank him.”
Although that’s what I thought, I still felt unhappy. Every time I cleaned my father, I could feel the resentment towards my younger brother grow—I kept thinking he should be doing this.
While I studied the Fa, I suddenly understood that this was Master’s arrangement, and my resentment vanished. I should thank my brother; it was Master who arranged for him to help me improve my xinxing. Even if others felt he wasn’t being responsible, I should still look inward. This is cultivation—looking inward unconditionally. I realized that I had a strong ego. When my desires weren’t met or my demands weren’t followed, I felt resentment towards others. I refused to acknowledge their needs, and felt I was superior.
I refused to acknowledge this issue because I hadn’t cultivated well. Not understanding the principles of cultivation can easily lead one to go wrong. When my heart is moved, isn’t that precisely when I need to expand my capacity? What’s there to get upset about? I was repaying karma. Filial piety (devotion) for elderly parents is a duty for both children and grandchildren. My younger brother should take care of his child if he needed to. He no longer came to cook for our parents.
Besides, that anger and resentment wasn’t my true self. Once I understood this, I felt at peace and let it go. As my xinxing improved, I truly thanked my brother from the bottom of my heart. I no longer thought conflicts were bad; they were all good things. I selflessly took care of my parents and stopped complaining. I also stopped comparing myself to others or holding onto grudges.
My Family Knows Falun Dafa Is Good
My mother accepted Dafa’s goodness and studied the Fa with us. She also did the exercises with us in the evening. She even contributed some money for us to make truth-clarification materials. My mother read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. When my brother came home, she sat opposite him and said “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” twice. My brother said, “Yes, I understand.” She also wanted to help Master save people.
When a fishbone got stuck in my mother’s throat, she coughed for a long time but couldn’t get it out. I couldn’t see it even with a flashlight and tweezers. I asked her, “Do you believe in Master?” She said, “Yes.”
“Then try pushing it down by swallowing a piece of steamed bun.”
She had just taken her second bite when she happily exclaimed, “It’s gone! The fishbone’s gone!”
My father now understands the truth and respectfully recites, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” every day. His joints have become more flexible and supple; he can even lay on his side at night. He feels Master is watching over him. Last September, the hospital diagnosed him with bladder cancer, saying he had, at most, three months to live. That was more than a year ago.
My father’s complexion is radiant and rosy. He’s 88 years old this year, and we hired a part-time caregiver to help take care of him. My second sister (a fellow practitioner) has been doing a good job and often watches the videos of Master’s teachings with our parents. A fellow practitioner also helped my younger brother withdraw from CCP and its affiliated organizations, and I will continue to help him when he has financial difficulties.
Cultivating Speech
Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I loved to scold, and criticize people. I disregarded others’ feelings. I would vent my frustrations, even publicly pointing out others’ shortcomings and mistakes, trying to belittle and mock them. This often led to awkward situations and unpleasant endings, sometimes even resulting in physical fights. After I began practicing, I realized that this behavior came from CCP culture, and I didn’t want these distorted things. I wanted to open my heart and communicate sincerely with others, rediscover my true, kind nature, and let my compassion awaken.
After I began cultivating my speech, I’ve had fewer conflicts. Conflicts between ordinary people often arise because they speak carelessly, or distort the facts. When things don’t go their way, they use harsh words to hurt others. After I began focusing on cultivating my speech, I restrained myself from speaking in a self-righteous manner. When conflicts arise, I now endure them, and they go away. Looking inward also elevated my xinxing.
Master has taught the principle of achieving four benefits in one during conflicts. If one cultivates his or her speech well, it’s easy to achieve these four benefits, which makes cultivation easier and makes the atmosphere harmonious. If one isn’t careful, he or she can easily say wrong things. So I now refraining from speaking frivolously and instead I quietly endure. After I began cultivating, I understood how to take a step back; is there any need to speak? Do I really need to argue or defend myself?
After cultivating my speech, I also eliminated my attachments to food. After Master purified my body, I can now eat anything. I dared not eat cold or hard foods, but now I can eat them. Even drinking cold water makes me feel comfortable. My attachment to food is now much less intense.
Paying attention to cultivating one’s speech within the family also resolves many conflicts. I no longer gossip, spread rumors, and hold grudges. I cherish this opportunity to cultivate, and I cherish this environment. I wish to improve quickly so I cultivate diligently.
My speech and tone of voice have become kinder and more peaceful. When I clarify the truth, my compassionate words penetrate peoples’ hearts, and this greatly increases the effectiveness of saving people. When those who understand the truth thank me, I feel happy for them.
My distorted mentality of arrogance is gone. It was formed over many years because I was indoctrinated with Party culture. I no longer argue or protect myself.
I wish to be a sincere, kind, tolerant, and enlightened cultivator who cares for others.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation! I wish to return to my true home with you!
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Category: Improving Oneself
