(Minghui.org) I’m 83 years old and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for 28 years. Before I began practicing I was very domineering. My husband and three children all yielded to my demands. Because I became healthy after I began practicing my family supported my practice.
In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched the persecution of Dafa and began slandering Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa. I went to Beijing to explain the truth to government officials and I was arrested and taken to the local prison.
My children believed the CCP’s lies and began to oppose my practicing Falun Dafa. My son let the police search our home twice. They confiscated all my Dafa materials. My daughter also verbally abused practitioners who came to visit me. My husband and children monitored me every day.
For the safety of fellow practitioners and to avoid causing them trouble, I practiced at home by myself. I had a short temper, and the change in my practice environment greatly impacted me. Several of my attachments, such as resentment, jealousy and competitiveness, began to manifest. My relationship with my children became tense.
But no matter how much the children objected, my determination to practice Dafa never wavered. I knew that Dafa was good, but I resented that the children didn’t understand me. I even viewed them as enemies, which caused me to experience two major illness tribulations.
Tribulations Resulting From Resentment
I developed acute glaucoma and couldn’t see anything. A large lump also appeared on my head. The children forced me to go to the hospital because everyone thought it was life-threatening. Another time, I was so angry with the children that I had symptoms of acute heart and kidney failure. It felt like a huge stone was pressing on my chest. I had difficulty breathing. I couldn’t sleep at night and could only doze off for a short while while I sat up. I vomited incessantly and I passed out that night.
The next morning, my husband was terrified when he couldn’t wake me. My family sent me to the hospital. The doctor said my condition was very serious and I needed to return to the hospital for frequent checkups. The children bought me an oxygen concentrator and various medications. They forced me to take the medicine and use the oxygen every day. But the medicine didn’t help. I still had difficulty breathing. I felt I was unworthy to be a Falun Dafa practitioner.
At this critical moment fellow practitioners brought me Minghui Weekly and had me listen to Minghui Radio. After reading and listening to other practitioners’ experiences I regretted that I hadn’t done well. I knew I had this great tribulation because I hadn’t eliminated my resentment. I vowed that my determination to practice Falun Dafa would never waver. I would unconditionally believe in Master and the Fa (teachings). I would follow Master’s arrangements and firmly practice Falun Dafa.
What was amazing was that the next day, I felt the huge weight on my heart lift, and my breathing became easier. I knew it was because I let go of my resentment. Master helped me through this ordeal. More than ten months have passed and the symptoms of kidney and heart failure disappeared. I am very healthy.
Clearing the Clouds
I knew I was wrong to have resentment towards my family. I thought I could use persuasion to prevent them from opposing my practice. I gave all my life savings - about one million yuan to my children. I tried my best to take care of everything for them, thinking they should be content. But our relationship became even more strained.
I wondered why they just didn’t understand. I looked inward and started sincerely studying Master’s teachings. I discovered that Master already told us about this long ago.
I suddenly realized that I’d been treating this tribulation with human notions. Master was helping me by exposing my notions, so I could eliminate my attachments and improve myself. I always focused on my children’s shortcomings. Whether it was resentment, jealousy, or a desire to please, none of them were right. When I rectified myself in the Fa, I found that my children’s attitudes changed. Their usually stern faces now had smiles. My son, who hadn’t called me “Mom” for over ten years, once again called me Mom.
My Grateful Heart
I am grateful for Master’s ingenious arrangement, grateful to Dafa for giving me a second life, and grateful to my fellow practitioners for helping me at critical moments in my cultivation practice.
I stumbled and struggled for over ten years before I finally emerged from this major tribulation. I am sharing this today, first to thank Master for compassionately watching over me, and second in the hope that fellow practitioners in similar situations can learn from my experience, and quickly catch up with the great current of Fa-rectification.
This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.
