(Minghui.org) I resented my mother for years. When I was little, my grandmother lived with us. She took care of me, and we slept in the same bed. My younger siblings stayed with my mother. When there was something good to eat my grandmother gave it to me. When my mother wanted to beat me, my grandmother protected me. My grandmother loved me the most, and I loved her the most too.
My mother always vented her emotions on someone in the family. She was usually a kind person and a good wife and mother, but she occasionally became very upset and vented her anger, especially by criticizing my grandmother. My father didn’t dare say anything, and my grandmother never fought back or talked back to her. I, however, couldn’t stand it. I stood up for my grandmother and argued with my mother. That’s how my resentment for my mother began.
After my siblings and I got married, when my mother got angry at someone, it took a long time for her to calm down. All of us—her children and our spouses—had to apologize to her, regardless of whether we were right or wrong. After she began to practice Falun Dafa in 1996, she worked on improving her character. But her habit of venting her anger was deeply ingrained, so it was very difficult and it took a long time for her to eliminate it. After more than 20 years of cultivation, she improved—she calms down after a few days and does not require anyone to apologize to her.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2006. My mother always found fault with me and it felt like nothing I did was right. Because I hadn’t studied the Fa for long, I didn’t clearly understand things from the perspective of the Fa. I used ordinary thinking and felt she was picking on me. In fact, from a cultivation point of view, she was helping me improve my xinxing—but I didn’t realize it then. I felt upset about it and shared my feelings with another practitioner. That practitioner also didn’t understand the Fa well and sided with me. The more she said my mother was wrong, the worse I felt. I couldn’t get over it, and the distress made me cry. This happened many times, and my resentment for my mother grew.
One day while I clarified the truth to people with a fellow practitioner the Chinese character for “filial piety” appeared in my mind. I told the other practitioner about it, but neither of us understood what it meant at that time.
I kept thinking about that word. Suddenly I understood—it was a hint from Master, telling me to be filial to my mother. Guided by the principles of the Fa, I started treating her better. I helped her with chores, prepared delicious food for her, and spent time with her regardless of how busy I was. Other practitioners praised me for being filial, and my husband said, “I won’t tolerate anyone saying you aren’t filial; I see everything you do.” Despite all this my mother still said I was the least filial of her children. I was heartbroken, but I said nothing.
After my mother repeatedly said this, I realized I needed to look within. I found the root of my resentment was jealousy. I also realized my filial behavior was not genuine. I still resented her. When I looked at her my heart churned. I was kind on the surface, but I silently complained about her. I asked Master to help me remove these negative things; they were not me, and I wanted to become a truly kind person. I also sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate those negative substances.
One day my mother said, “When I’m old, I’ll stay with you. Of all my children, you treat me the best.” I smiled. I changed, and she could feel it. I felt very grateful to Master for helping me remove those bad substances. It took me several years of cultivating to finally let go of my negative feelings. My heart felt light and peaceful.
Letting Go of Jealousy at Work
I worked at a testing base last summer that produced bridge expansion joints. My job was to prepare the materials. My manager sent me to a construction team because they were working on a project for our company. My salary was still paid by my company, so technically I only needed to prepare the expansion joint materials and I didn’t have to do any of the work at the construction site.
After I arrived at the site, I thought, “I’m a Dafa cultivator. I can’t just stand around while others work.” When I didn’t need to prepare materials, I did some manual labor. They found a joint seam that wasn’t sealed properly, and the foreman asked me to prepare some materials to fill it, so I did. After work, we drove 40 minutes to the hotel where we stayed at, and to eat at a restaurant. As we were driving back, my manager called and asked if I filled the gap. I said yes. He asked how I did it. I said I used our material. He said that wouldn’t work—it needed a softer material. I said I didn’t know that was the case, and I offered to redo it the next day. He said it wasn’t necessary. After I hung up, the foreman, who was in the car, got very angry and started yelling, “What? That won’t work! Tomorrow I’ll remove it!” Then he started cursing at me, using extremely vulgar and offensive language. I didn’t say a word.
I thought, “I didn’t say anything to you. Why are you yelling at me?” After a while, I thought, “This is not good for you—you’re losing virtue.” I reminded myself I was a cultivator, so whether I was right or wrong, I should apologize to him. Then I said, “I’m sorry. Please stop.” But when he heard that, he became even angrier and kept scolding me. There were about ten people in the car, including another practitioner. My face turned red, my pride got the better of me, and I thought, “Tomorrow they will laugh at me. He insulted me, and I said nothing.”
In my heart I said, “Master, I don’t want this attachment to saving face. I want to follow your teachings.” Even so, it was still hard to bear his constant scolding. As he kept yelling, I recited the Fa:
““He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” Hong Yin III)
He scolded me the whole way, and I kept reciting the Fa the whole way. The more I recited, the calmer I felt. I began to feel he was pitiful. At that moment, I felt the power of Master and Dafa. He stopped after about half an hour, and we were almost at the restaurant.
At the restaurant, I sat down as usual. The foreman walked back and forth in front of me. When I looked at him, he quickly said, “What would you like to eat? I’ll order it for you.” I knew he felt he was wrong and was apologizing in his own way. I smiled and said, “It’s okay, I can eat anything.”
The next evening, he ordered sweet-and-sour pork for me and told the others, “This is for her. Don’t eat it.” I said, “I can’t finish it. Let’s all share it.”
About three months later, he apologized again and said, “Please don’t be upset with me. I have a bad mouth—I say things without thinking and I offend people.” I said, “I’m not upset. I’m a cultivator. I won’t act the same way others might. Not only am I not angry, I should thank you.” My boss, who understood the truth about Falun Dafa told him, “You gave her a lot of virtue.”
Actually, the foreman knew that I’m a practitioner. I’d been thinking about clarifying the truth to the workers, but I hesitated, feeling worried he might get angry because of the persecution by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). But when he was yelling at me, he mentioned that I practiced Falun Dafa. After that, I no longer hesitated. The next day I clarified the truth to the workers and helped them quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. A few days later, the project ended and we were about to go home. There was one person I didn’t get the chance to talk to, which I regretted.
After some time, our company needed more workers, and the foreman sent two people over. One of them was the person I didn’t get to speak to before, and the other was a new person. I found an opportunity to talk to both of them and helped them quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
I thought, “Master is so compassionate—he doesn’t want to leave anyone behind.” Master brought everyone who should be saved right to us. We only need to speak. My eyes filled with tears. Master has always been by my side, watching over and protecting me. I cannot express my gratitude in words. The only way I can repay his compassion is to cultivate diligently and help him save more people.
Category: Improving Oneself
