(Minghui.org) Earlier this year I started to feel ill. The left side of my head, my teeth, and throat hurt. I was coughing a lot and had a runny nose. At first I didn’t pay much attention to it, thinking that it was Master Li helping me eliminate karma. Then it worsened.
A week later I went to another practitioner’s home. Seeing I was in pain, she told me not to acknowledge the discomfort. Another practitioner told me that I gave it too much attention, constantly holding my head. The three of us then sent righteous thoughts and studied two chapters of Zhuan Falun. I felt much better afterward.
The next morning I went out to clarify the truth despite my voice still being a little hoarse. Knowing that Master suffered tremendously for me so that I could get better, I didn’t want to waste this precious time staying home. That day I helped five people in a park quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I also met a practitioner who’s been cultivating alone and now wanted to step up and help clarify the truth.
I studied the Fa with this practitioner for three days, and my health improved significantly. I decided to go to a market a bit further away to clarify the truth. I had been arrested there a year ago. People didn’t seem to know the truth due to the lack of practitioners going there. In less than two hours, I helped 14 people quit the CCP. I was quite pleased.
That evening my husband had a heart attack. He was in grave danger and I asked Master to help him. A week later he was discharged from the hospital. I felt that I was not doing well in cultivation because I could have helped many quit the CCP in that week had my husband not been sick. To better look within, I memorized the section “Transformation of Karma” in Zhuan Falun every day. This didn’t help me identify any attachment.
One day I dreamed that many people were holding wooden sticks with toilet seat covers on them. A man told me, “You gave us these. We cherish them so we hold them up instead of using them.” I couldn’t understand what the dream was supposed to tell me after I woke up. I asked for a hint from Master. After sending righteous thoughts at midnight, as soon as I lay down, I heard a voice:
““Maybe I’m a Buddha as well. Well, let me take a look at myself.”” “Even in this class, there are people who think quite highly of themselves …” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
The voice repeated the two phrases several times. I quickly sat up, and realized that these were phrases from “Demonic Interference From One’s Own Mind” in Zhuan Falun. I opened the book and carefully read the section. I was surprised to find that I had an attachment that was about to lead me to demonic interference. I apologized to Master, “Master, forgive me. I don’t want this attachment. I will only walk the path you arranged for me.”
I could no longer sleep, and reflected on my cultivation journey.
I have been arrested twice since the persecution began. The first time I was incarcerated for 15 days. During that time I helped 28 people quit the CCP, and six of them were guards. I was arrested again last year. I asked Master to help me go home so that the guards would not commit a crime against Falun Dafa. I became ill and was released the same day. When other practitioners praised me about being released quickly because I had ample righteous thoughts, I told them that Master did all of it, yet I was feeling smug.
I never turn down practitioners who need my help. I studied the Fa with a practitioner who was unable to read; helped clean up a practitioner who couldn’t take care of herself due to illness karma; and brought a former practitioner back to cultivation. Each time they thanked me, I’d tell them to thank Master, yet I felt really good inside.
Chen is a young man who lived nearby. When he worked out of town years ago, I volunteered to take care of his mother for two months – I cooked for her and helped her to the bathroom and helped her keep clean. My other neighbors knew that I practiced Falun Dafa, and, moved by my kind act, most of them have quit the CCP. Chen’s mother passed away three years ago, and he lived alone. Last summer he had a car accident, and called us to the scene. My husband spent two months in the hospital with him. Every week I’d make time to bring him food. The doctors and his roommates would praise me. I attributed my kind acts to Dafa and Master, yet I couldn’t help feeling pleased with myself.
When I talked to people about the persecution, people would repeatedly thank me once they woke up to the truth. I’d tell them to thank Master, meanwhile, I was happy and proud of myself.
When my submission was published on Minghui.org, I couldn’t contain my excitement, feeling overwhelmed.
All of my emotions were me being arrogant, looking down on others, and taking credit for Master’s work. No wonder those people in my dream wouldn’t use the toilet seat covers I gave them, the covers were defective. I would have gone astray and brought about demonic interference had Master not given me a hint. I regretted what I did and confessed to Master, “I absolutely do not want this notion. I will eliminate it.”
I hope practitioners who feel good about themselves when doing Dafa work start looking within. Without Master’s help, we can do very little. As I was writing this sharing article, I became sick and was unable to sleep well for two nights. I negated the old forces’ arrangement, sent righteous thoughts, did the exercises, and alerted the practitioners around me of this dangerous notion.
Please kindly point out anything that is not in line with the teachings.
Category: Cultivation Insights
