(Minghui.org) I will never forget August 2012, the year my life was renewed. I was mired in despair and gloom, but the light of Falun Dafa transformed me.
Seeking the True Meaning of Life
I was in the prime of my life. Although I was kind-hearted and appreciated Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism, I was becoming increasingly tainted due to Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture. I felt my temper growing more volatile. I lacked gratitude towards my family and I competed for fame and profit with my colleagues.
Living like that left me plagued with ailments, feeling increasingly exhausted, helpless, and tormented. I was frequently haunted by bizarre nightmares. Although I turned to traditional Buddhism and diligently chanted scriptures every day, it was merely an attempt to find a moment of peace or to improve my health.
Things went on like that until the day I met a university professor who moved in and shared my apartment. She later recalled her initial encounter with me: “Back then, I saw a copy of the ‘I Ching’ in the bathroom and thought this girl must have some good inborn quality—I must help her.”
The professor was kind and gentle. Even when I impatiently and heatedly argued with her about the CCP, she just listened calmly. When I finished, she explained things in a measured, unhurried manner. Influenced by her kindness and compassion, I became less impatient and was able to calm down and listen to her clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa. I gradually understood.
I asked her for a copy of Falun Dafa’s main text Zhuan Falun and I read it in less than three days. I decided this practice was superior to the traditional Buddhism I followed. I wanted to practice Falun Dafa, but was afraid because of the persecution. The professor said, “You know, even the police say that as long as you don’t go out to talk about it, you can practice at home and no one will bother you.”
Looking back, I am so grateful that Master arranged for a practitioner with such compassion and wisdom to come and wake me up, and finally lead me into Dafa cultivation practice.
Following the Righteous Way
When I started to practice Dafa, Master arranged a very supportive environment for me. I never expected that right in the neighborhood where I lived, there were at least five or six veteran practitioners, plus some younger and newer ones. Come rain or shine, they would get up and meet around 4 or 5 a.m., memorize the Fa until 7 or 8 a.m., and then head out to clarify the truth about the persecution to the public.
In such a diligent environment, I began to cultivate too. I couldn’t manage to get up at 4 a.m. every day, so instead I got up shortly after 5 a.m. to memorize the Fa. And thus I spent about a year memorizing Zhuan Falun.
After I finished work in the evening, a practitioner would drive me around different neighborhoods while I made truth clarification phone calls, or I would distribute informational materials in residential districts. I always took Shen Yun DVDs with me and the software to break through the internet firewall, which I gave people after telling them the facts about Dafa.
Every week, I received a copy of Minghui Weekly from a fellow practitioner, which helped me keep up with the progress of the Fa-rectification, and also helped me reflect on other practitioners’ experience sharing articles so I could correct my own shortcomings.
During that initial period of my cultivation, I felt truly happy. At night, I often experienced the rushing sensation which other practitioners sometimes described as “shooting upwards on a rocket.” I often found myself soaring at astonishing speeds through outer space or other realms.
However, two local veteran practitioners were illegally arrested and the professor who shared my apartment went into hiding. I began to feel the pressure of the persecution and I didn’t know what to do.
One day, while taking a nap, I vaguely heard someone knocking on the door, so I got up and opened the door. It was a fellow practitioner who lived nearby. She walked in, stood there, and said, “Just follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. No one can harm you.”
Then I woke up and it turned out to be a dream. I realized Master was giving me a hint because I had been feeling helpless. Master was telling me that cultivating selflessness was of the utmost importance. All tribulations would dissolve in the face of Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Cherishing Every Fellow Practitioner
My cultivation environment changed after I moved to another city. There were no veteran practitioners there but many young ones. Due to my mindset at the time, I thought many of their actions did not meet the requirements of Dafa. I did not realize that this was a new environment Master arranged for me and Master wanted me to find my own cultivation path.
At first, I viewed the other practitioners through many of my human attachments. I thought they were not cultivating diligently and genuinely, and I saw many of their shortcomings. Little did I realize that their behavior was actually a reflection of my own cultivation issues.
Later, I caught the police’s attention when I helped to rescue a fellow practitioner. The police tried to get me to be an informant and give them information about other local practitioners. However I refused and they confiscated several of my cell phones that I used for truth clarification calls. Afterwards, a sense of dread bore down on me like a heavy black cloud, leaving me unable to catch my breath. My mind was in complete turmoil and I had no idea what would happen next.
Then the young practitioners whom I had been looking down on came to help me. Their righteous thoughts and firm belief strengthened my own righteous thoughts. Yes, I should face the persecution with righteous thoughts and not be afraid.
That day, when I stepped out of the house, I heard a band playing behind me. I assumed it was the opening celebration for a business, but when I looked, I couldn’t see anything. I suddenly understood what I was hearing might be the sound of a band in another dimension. This was Master encouraging me as I finally developed strong righteous thoughts.
Even though I wasn’t quite as fearful, there was still a sense of oppression in my dimensional field. Then I suddenly realized I should not have a negative attitude towards the police. They were only doing bad deeds because they had to make a living. In reality, they were the most pitiable people because they did not understand the truth about the persecution.
With a heart full of compassion, I sent a message to the officer who had been harassing me, advising him to choose kindness. My words were devoid of any resentment or hostility. In that instant, I sensed the dark clouds in another dimension vanish and the sky became clear. I had the distinct feeling that everything would be fine and the matter was resolved. Indeed, nothing happened afterwards. I witnessed the power of compassion, which was so immense.
I began to cherish my fellow practitioners and focused on their strengths. If there were shortcomings, we should encourage and support each other, and walk steadily together the paths Master arranged for us.
Never Forget That I’m a Practitioner
Several years have passed since I was among those young practitioners. Our lives began to diverge—some went abroad, others moved to other cities, and some started families. I belonged to the latter group. I got married to a non-practitioner, had a baby, and formed a new cultivation environment.
This new situation was a huge challenge for me. Instead of meeting with fellow practitioners every day and sharing our cultivation experiences, I had to deal with non-practitioner family members and pay attention to their feelings. Such an environment can breed complacency and the desire for an easy life.
Before I got married, I cultivated with fellow practitioners. Now, it seemed that I was wandering around among everyday people. I felt as if I had left that pure environment and I struggled to stay grounded despite the complexities of worldly relationships. I constantly reminded myself that I’m a Dafa practitioner.
Fortunately, my husband never interfered with my cultivation. I did my best to look after my family without distancing myself from Dafa. I tried to be diligent with daily Fa study, practicing the exercises, and sending righteous thoughts.
I was well aware that cultivation is like swimming against the current—if one does not advance, one falls behind. If I did not keep righteous thoughts about cultivation, all types of interference would arise, dragging me back into the mundane world, and causing my cultivation efforts to fall short.
I became pregnant shortly after I married, and grew increasingly busy raising the baby. Even the time for Fa study, which I used to set aside without fail, began to shrink. Luckily, practitioners in my weekly Fa study group continued to memorize the Fa. So whenever I had time, I would try to memorize the Fa on my own, though much more slowly than before.
Over the past few years I encountered many challenges in my cultivation. For example, it seemed someone reported me for using currency which had information about Falun Dafa written on it. My non-practitioner family members were investigated by the police and my fears grew. Yet, I knew I must go out to help Master save people, for my mission was not just to complete personal cultivation. If we don’t help Master save people, we are not worthy of being practitioners. We must try our best to clarify the truth.
Since time and circumstances were limited, I took my child out for walks so I could talk to other women. Most of the mothers and grandmothers I spoke to accepted the truth about Falun Dafa, but it was harder to get them to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
I realized that my heart was not pure enough, my righteous thoughts were not strong enough, and I did not have a sense of urgency to help save people. The main issue was that I was not studying the Fa enough and had not truly obtained the Fa. I did not have enough mighty virtue to dissolve the evil elements causing interference.
A Final Word
Fa-rectification is approaching the end and our time is very limited. Every minute and even every second have been prolonged by Master for us to keep stepping forward. No matter how real everything in the mundane world may seem, in fact it is all just an illusion. Only by letting go of our human attachments, studying the Fa well, assimilating to Dafa, and following Master can we live up to the glorious title: “Falun Dafa practitioner.” This is the purpose of our existence.
