(Minghui.org) I was released from prison in 2015. I couldn’t return to my previous home, so I stayed with a relative who also practices Falun Dafa. Her husband who wasn’t a practitioner became unhappy, and ignored me when he saw me. When he was home I went to the park for the day and read Zhuan Falun. That summer my relative introduced me to a retired teacher, Ailing, who didn’t practice Dafa. We started a tutoring center and agreed to split the costs and we would each keep what we earned. I finally had an income.
I moved into the tutoring center. It served as a classroom during the day, and I set up a folding bed to sleep there at night. Although it was on the first floor and didn’t have curtains, I was very satisfied as long as I could study the Fa and practice the exercises. Although life was difficult, I studied the Fa with great eagerness. Master’s words flowed into my heart, and I felt myself rapidly changing—I was cleansed by Dafa and I was filled with joy and peace.
After the summer vacation ended, Ailing told me that our collaboration was over. I was surprised and asked, “You wanted to team up when we had no students, but why is it that you no longer want to work together now that we have students?” She didn’t say anything. I told her that I practice Falun Dafa and I’d agree to her decision.
When I told my relative she wasn’t happy. She said she needed to talk to Ailing. I felt I hadn’t done anything wrong, and it wasn’t good for Ailing to behave this way. However, when I studied the Fa, I read the following passage in Zhuan Falun,
“That is not out of compassion, as one’s attachments to fame and self-interest have not been given up at all. This person is unable to develop this compassion one bit.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I was shocked and immediately understood the situation. My mind became clear and I felt relieved, so I asked my relative not to talk to Ailing.
Another unexpected thing happened when I received my salary at the end of the month. We agreed that I didn’t need to pay rent while I stayed overnight at the tutoring center, as it didn’t interfere with teaching and I cleaned the building. However, 900 yuan was deducted from my salary for rent and utilities. I was supposed to receive more than 1,000 yuan for the whole summer, but I only received a little over 200 yuan, which was not even enough to cover my living expenses. I didn’t say anything to Ailing and didn’t think much about it. I felt that I could still help her when she needed me and perhaps I could eventually teach a high school class.
I submitted job applications online but hadn’t heard back from any of them. Then I began to receive invitations from the city where I previously worked; however, I’d have to shuttle between the two cities. Then, one cold day in October, Ailing told me, “The teacher who will replace you has arrived. Just hand over the teaching schedule. You don’t need to come next week.” It wasn’t until then that I realized Ailing wanted me to leave long ago. I had no choice but to return to my former city to teach. When I did, my income increased significantly.
I soon met my husband who is also a practitioner, and we were happy. It was if everything had been arranged and I should have returned home long ago. My decision not to return was based on human logic. Later, Ailing apologized to me. She said she kept my bed there for a long time. I didn’t blame her, as I knew that a practitioner should let go of attachments to fame and profit. Our cultivation path is arranged by Master. Following the course of nature for a practitioner means following the standards of the Fa as things unfold, rather than ordinary logic and striving for something. I once joked with my husband that we should thank Ailing because if she hadn’t let me go, we might not have met.
Eliminating the Attachment to Not Accepting Being Falsely Accused
My mother-in-law who is also a Dafa practitioner told me about her experience while she did the exercises. I decided to take advantage of her good mood to point out her previous misunderstanding of me when her son was overcoming sickness karma. I said it was because she couldn’t let go of family ties, that she thought I did something wrong. I hoped she would change her notion about me. She immediately became very angry and insisted that I had indeed done what she accused me of. I couldn’t stay clam and we argued. Our voices were so loud that my husband’s brothers came over to break up the argument.
Later, a fellow practitioner said it was a great opportunity for me to improve myself, but I didn’t seize it. After I calmly thought about it I felt bad. I couldn’t understand why they insisted that I had done something I clearly hadn’t, and why I wasn’t allowed to explain. The practitioner mentioned a Shen Yun performance about an eminent monk in ancient times, who was wrongly accused of fathering a child; the monk said nothing to defend himself and raised the child. I suddenly thought about Forbearance. Although my mother-in-law and I are both cultivators, we have different understandings of the Fa.
I wanted her to change, but her xinxing hadn’t improved, so she couldn’t. I failed to be tolerant.
When my husband was overcoming illness karma, my mother-in-law transferred all her fears, worries, and anxieties onto me. She felt distressed whenever she saw me, and she blamed me for all of her son’s physical ailments. She even badmouthed me to fellow practitioners. I was the only outlet for her frustrations. I was really taken aback by her behavior at the time and I struggled to accept it.
My mother-in-law is usually very nice to me. We have a very close relationship, and I sometimes say she cares for me better than my own mother. But I was shocked by this 180 degree turn, which left me feeling deeply wronged. As I calmed down and looked inward, I realized that I developed an attachment to her.
My mother-in-law has always been deeply attached to her son. When he was in danger, she couldn’t eat or sleep—she forgot that she’s a Dafa practitioner. She later told me that she hadn’t practiced the exercises for three months.
Master said,
“If this qing is not relinquished, you will be unable to cultivate.”(Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I also realized that the attachment I had developed toward my husband was equally dangerous. Around that time, some practitioners were spreading baseless rumors about me, about things that happened two or three years ago. These misconceptions were still circulating. I really felt aggrieved. I knew that I needed to improve, but I couldn’t find the root cause. So I kept studying the Fa.
Master said,
“...but even if you are right, even if you’re not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa?” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume X)
I repeatedly read this paragraph of Fa, and every sentence targeted my heart. I told myself, Yes, you’re right, you didn’t do it, so what? Have you improved your xinxing? Have you let go of your attachments? My heart gradually became peaceful.
I recently realized the reason why I’ve been repeatedly misunderstood: it’s because I can’t accept being wrongly accused. When I was young, my mother often said one sentence: “I’ll suffer any loss, but I won’t be falsely accused.” I formed the same notion. When I truly realized this was the problem, the inner notion that I can’t accept being wrongly accused disintegrated. I realized it isn’t important what others say what I did or didn’t do. Master knows everything, divine beings see it, and that’s enough. The principle of the universe is fair. When I thought about it from this perspective my heart became open, peaceful, and expansive.
I was a very introverted and insecure child. Deep down, I always wanted to be affirmed and encouraged. I strove to do my best in everything so I would be recognized and praised. As my cultivation improved, I realized the importance of cultivating my mind. Whether something succeeds or not isn’t important; the key is whether my intention is pure when I do it. When the intention is pure and upright, one can be selfless and steadfast in one’s actions. Then what humans cannot do, gods will do for people, and Master will do for practitioners.
All of extraordinary abilities are either given to you by Master, or Master will help you achieve them. Human abilities are not at all like divine abilities. When one’s xinxing is elevated, one is no longer constrained by lower-level principles and can do things that ordinary people cannot do. The desire for affirmation and encouragement, upon deeper examination, is a desire for fame. We should simply improve our hearts and minds, be good and even better people according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
The above is my current understanding. I am grateful to Master once again!
