(Minghui.org) When I started practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong), my son was a rebel. He hated school and was addicted to video games. I was worried about his future and watched him closely. I used to set an alarm clock in the middle of the night to check on him, and each time I caught him playing games.
One rainy afternoon, he disappeared from home. My husband and friends searched for him till nightfall but to no avail. I became very anxious and angry at the same time. In tears I thought, “I’ll hand him over to Master!”
Dafa Saved My Defiant Son
My son did not come home that night. I wondered if I was simply paying a debt from a previous lifetime, and I should just let him be. But then I decided I had a responsibility to help him back onto the right path.
Master said,
“From the perspective of a higher life, the development of human society progresses according to specific laws of development. Therefore, what one does in life is not arranged based on one’s abilities. Buddhism believes in the principle of karmic retribution. One’s life is arranged according to one’s karma.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly realized I was overly attached to my son’s future. His life had been arranged by higher beings, and all I needed to do was help him be an upright person and develop a correct outlook with good values.
I shared my thoughts with my husband, and we agreed that when our son came home, we would not scold or hit him, but instead talk with him.
Our son came home at 7 a.m. With the wisdom Dafa gave me, I said calmly and reasonably, “You crossed the line and we’re very upset. But considering that you’re underage, we will give you one last chance and hope you cherish it. We forgive you, but that doesn’t mean you were right. If you do this again, we will no longer take you back, even if that means changing the locks or selling the house.”
He did not respond but he never disappeared again. However, his addiction remained. He occasionally threw a tantrum when my husband wasn’t home—he was afraid of my husband who had spanked him before. I used the opportunity to share with him what I learned from Dafa, and he was curious enough to secretly look at a few pages of the Dafa books when I wasn’t home, and he asked questions in a roundabout way.
One day, after another episode of poor behavior, he said tearfully, “It is my bad luck to be born into your family.” I was shocked to hear this and realized the way I had been raising him was wrong.
I decided to stop comforting him like I used to and replied, “Don’t say that. It is not your bad luck but ours, because you chose us, not the other way around. You watched from Heaven before this lifetime and chose our home because you would have a chance to learn about Falun Dafa. Who would have thought that after being born here, you not only hate school but also say something so ungrateful and hurtful? And you still have the nerve to cry!”
He stopped crying and talking back. I continued, “Yong and Jing [pseudonyms for his best friends] are five and six months younger than you. Their families are wealthy. Why didn’t you choose to be born into their families? Because you saw that you would be less likely to learn Dafa. Going forward, if you ever say such things again, then leave! You do not deserve to live in our home.”
He stopped talking like that and his behavior improved. He even passed the high school entrance exam and made it into high school.
Thank you, esteemed Master! Thank you, Dafa!
Removing Resentment the First Time
Perhaps I was a narrow-minded person, because I have been stumbling over the attachment of resentment ever since I started cultivating.
I used to have a stall at the market and had to get a ride there each time because I couldn’t drive. Another vendor wanted to monopolize the sales and drive me out of the market, so she kept meddling to prevent me from getting a ride. Since most of the drivers were male, she spread rumors that I was having an affair with whoever gave me a ride. In fact, nothing is a coincidence, and this was all for my cultivation.
One day, the wife of a driver confronted me, saying, “So-and-so told me you’re having an affair with my husband.”
I was furious. My attachments all spilled out, including feeling wronged, resentment, jealousy, and wanting to retaliate. I knew this was not a cultivator’s state of mind, but I didn’t know how to look inward. I regarded those thoughts as part of myself and I was unable to remove them.
This led to me being taken advantage of by the old forces, and I sprained my back and leg. I had difficulty walking for two years. I endured the pain passively, thinking I was paying off karma.
I stopped selling at the market and stayed home to study the Fa. Finally, while reading the lecture “Buddha Nature” in (Zhuan Falun Volume II), I identified my attachments and understood how to cultivate. While sending forth righteous thoughts, with Master’s strengthening, I felt a cool breeze exit from my back and leg. I knew Master removed those bad things from me.
My back and leg pain disappeared, but I still listed to the right when I walked. Then I had the thought, “I do not allow evil things to control how I walk. I am a Dafa practitioner and I will eliminate them.”
Whenever I felt myself leaning, I stopped and resumed walking after a while; then when I started leaning again, I stopped again. I refused to be controlled by this unrighteous element. This kept happening for a week and I was finally able to walk normally again.
Thank you, esteemed Master! Thank you, Dafa!
Removing Resentment the Second Time
After I’d started practicing Falun Dafa, my health significantly improved and I felt light and without illness. My family and friends witnessed the changes in me, understood that Dafa is good, and agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. My older brother’s wife was the only exception. She refused to believe the truth.
I paid attention to my interactions with her and I reminded myself not to hold anything against her, even though at times I felt wronged or taken advantage of by her. Sometimes I thought I was doing well, but I was still far from meeting Master’s requirements.
During this year’s May 1st holiday, I had a big xinxing test after the wedding reception my older brother and his wife held for their daughter. My younger brother’s wife announced that she wanted to excuse herself from taking care of our father, who had surgery in January, because she could not stand the old man’s body odor or accommodate his routine.
We were all upset by this, but it was inappropriate to discuss the matter under the circumstances, so the dinner ended on a sour note.
After we got home and went to bed, we received a phone call from my older brother’s wife who said that he was having an affair and had threatened to kill her. We rushed over and found my sister-in-law had beaten up my brother, with blood everywhere, and she was cursing him.
Then she stopped cursing him and started blaming our entire family, especially our father. She accused my father of showing favoritism because she was the only one who took care of him after his surgery, while my younger brother’s wife did nothing, and my father said nothing. Her words became harsher and harsher. She brought up gripes from the past 20 years and said that our entire family mistreated her. Her younger sister was there too, adding to the criticism.
Seeing that my sister-in-law had become irrational, I stayed quiet as I did not want to irritate her. She carried on like this into the next day and night. Everyone was exhausted, but she still kept venting. Eventually she said she wanted a divorce, and my older brother had to leave with nothing. We agreed. Then she changed her mind, saying that one of them must die to settle the bank loan in her name.
My husband and I discussed the matter and decided to lend my older brother 40,000 yuan (USD$5,960) to pay off the loan, but she wanted 45,000 yuan. So we lent her this amount instead. This woman told lie after lie, speaking against her conscience, just to get hold of the money.
My father’s lifelong selfless devotion to his children was met with her verbal abuse and accusations. Thinking about the situation as a practitioner, perhaps this was a debt our family owed her from previous lifetimes.
A few days later, the storm still wasn’t over, and she complained that 1,500 yuan was missing from the cash gifts received at my niece’s wedding. I had personally collected the money at the wedding, three people checked the amount afterward, and everything was correct. Yet now she was making another accusation.
I called her younger brother, who said, “Ignore her. We all trust you.”
However, she didn’t stop there. She called my father and my father’s sister to criticize them, causing the latter to become unwell with anxiety.
Finally, I reached the point where I could no longer maintain my xinxing, and my mind weakened. I became so angry with her that I couldn’t do any work. My resentment overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t eliminate it, even though I knew this was an incorrect mindset for a practitioner.
I could barely remember any Fa teachings except for this:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.…”(“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I recited this repeatedly, sometimes silently and other times out loud. As I did, the evil elements struggled to survive, and I felt deep suffering. Unable to distinguish the “suffering” from myself, I was in great pain.
As I continued reciting the Fa, my main consciousness gradually returned. I realized that I was wrong because what happened was exposing my attachments and helping me upgrade my xinxing.
I told myself, “My sister-in-law is here to help me succeed in cultivation. She’s helping me improve my xinxing and dig out my attachments. I thank her and do not resent her. The resentment, grudge-bearing, thoughts of retaliation, and looking down on her are not me, and I do not want them. I will eliminate them and assimilate to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I will be a benevolent person, not a wicked one.”
I repeated this to strengthen my main consciousness. I don’t remember how long it took, but eventually I won the battle and completely shed the attachments.
Category: Improving Oneself
