(Minghui.org) While I was working toward my master’s degree in Australia, I downloaded the book Zhuan Falun from the internet. After I finished reading it I decided to practice Falun Dafa (Falun Gong). I looked online and found the contact information for the coordinator of a local exercise site. When I called him he said there was also group Fa study every weekend, so I went to the practice site that weekend.
I will never forget October 8, 2005—the day I began practicing Falun Dafa. I gradually understood the true meaning of life, and embarked on my journey of returning to my true self. I went to Fa study every week, and learned the five sets of exercises. I could only meditate in the full lotus position for about 10 minutes. I also participated in a local community Christmas parade and got to know many practitioners from other cities. It was an unforgettable experience.
My Husband Opposes My Practicing Falun Dafa
My husband and our child visited me in Australia the following year. When he learned that I practiced Falun Dafa, he was furious. He always tried to play it safe in everything. Since the persecution against Falun Dafa was still very severe in China, he believed that my practicing would bring great danger to our family and to me, so he was strongly against it.
I started talking about Dafa while we took a walk. He was so angry that he kicked me in public. I did not fight back and my resolve to practice remained unshaken.
After I returned to China, my husband was often upset when he saw me studying the Fa. However, he was not against my doing the exercises since he believed they would improve my health. When our family members visited us during holidays, I took the opportunity to tell them the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution. If our relatives expressed disapproval, he became furious, as if my practicing made him lose face. After the guests left he flew into a rage. One time, he destroyed my truth-clarification DVDs. I was very sad that he created karma for himself, but I felt there was nothing I could do.
He called my father a few times to complain and asked him to keep me in check. My father was afraid my practicing would negatively effect my marriage, so he told me to come back home whenever my husband complained. Every time, my father tried to persuade me to give up Dafa, but I refused; then he also became upset. I felt helpless, because I could not stop my husband from calling my father to complain.
I knew my husband was hindering my cultivation because he didn’t understand the truth about Dafa. However, he refused to watch truth-clarification videos or look at other informational materials. When he was in a good mood, I took the opportunity to share stories about the beauty of Dafa—such as how practicing Dafa brings family harmony, leads to recovery from terminal illnesses, and enables drug addicts to kick their habits and resume a normal life. He knew Dafa was good, but he was still afraid that I would be persecuted. So I went to Fa study and distributed truth-clarification materials when he was not around.
From Bad To Worse
My husband had surgery in 2015 and stayed home to recuperate. I offered to read Zhuan Falun to him, and he agreed. In the beginning, I only read a few pages a day because he would get impatient if I read more. I eventually read the entire book to him. Then we started reading it for a second time. This time, he read out loud while I listened, since he felt he had difficulty understanding when I read to him. I was secretly pleased as this was exactly what I had hoped for.
He often talked about xinxing cultivation, and advised his family members to cultivate their xinxing. After four months, he read Zhuan Falun four times. I thought that since he read the book, he might be ready to begin cultivating. But he wasn’t. Talking about this matter years later with my husband, I realized that he hadn’t understood what he read. However, through reading Zhuan Falun, he learned that people should be kind to others and not do bad things. He said he would have handled things differently at work if he’d known these principles earlier.
At that time I could no longer go to group Fa study, or go out to tell people about Dafa. I hoped that I could resume these activities soon. One evening, at dinner, I told my husband that I had been going to group study and telling people about Dafa regularly before he became unwell. He was very upset. But I did not give in, and we kept talking about it until midnight. I told him that I wanted to go to bed. However, he would not let me rest and insisted that I couldn’t go to sleep until we resolved the matter. He said that we would have to get divorced if I did not promise not to go out again.
I was not moved and went to bed. The next morning, he did not mention divorce, but he was still upset. I prepared the meals and talked to him as usual. He ignored me; however, I felt much more at ease, since I didn’t have to do the three things behind his back any more.
Over the next few years, he flew into a rage over things like my attending group study or organizing truth-clarification materials at home. He refused to speak to me for days, and he often spoke to me harshly in a sarcastic and mocking tone.
Tempering My Will
My husband beat me several times. Once, I noticed I had missed several phone calls from my husband during group study in the evening. When I got home, he was extremely angry and repeatedly kicked me. For the next few days, he looked sullen.
Another time, I bought a cooking pan online. He was not happy and complained that we had enough pans, so why did we need a new one. I said I got this pan at a good price and the quality was better. For some reason this touched a raw nerve and he slapped me hard across the face, knocking my glasses to the ground.
One weekend we planned to visit my in-laws. It was about 9 a.m. I don’t know what I did that irritated him, but just before we headed out, but he lost his temper with me again. He slapped my face and threatened me, saying, “I will beat you whenever I want.” Then he slammed the door and left.
I suddenly realized that he was committing sins against Dafa for treating a practitioner like that, and thus he was incurring a lot of karma for himself. It must be that the old forces were using him to persecute me, taking advantage of my loopholes for giving in blindly. I must resist this persecution.
When I realized this, I decided not to visit my in-laws. Instead, I stayed at my workplace for a week. My mother-in-law did not notice any difference, since I did not visit them when I was busy at work. When I went home the following weekend my husband still refused to speak to me. I cooked and did other chores as usual. H gradually started to talk to me, and his attitude towards me was more cordial. Although he still frequently abused me verbally, the number of times he hit me reduced significantly.
From a cultivation perspective, my husband’s physical abuse was helping me improve. However, as I was not aware of this, my xinxing did not upgrade. An elderly practitioner invited me to her home to study the Fa, and I agreed. But my husband tried his best to stop me and said I could not come back if I went out this time.
What was worse was that he even slapped my face in front of our son. I didn’t go. When I later complained to my son, to my surprise, he said that the problems lay with me—it was obvious that I wanted to divorce his father.
My son’s words shocked me, because I realized Master was giving me a wake-up call. I must look inward. Upon examining myself, I discovered that I did indeed have a problem. My husband stopped working after he had his surgery even though he recovered and he wasn’t even 50 years old. I looked down on him. Even though I did not say anything, my attitude towards him was condescending. After I realized this, I started to correct myself, changed my attitude and suppressed any contemptuous thoughts.
I used to think I made a mistake by marrying him since he was so domineering and uncaring. He did and said whatever he wanted, until one day I read a practitioner’s experience sharing article. Her husband was very obedient before their marriage. However, he became very mean to her after they married. She had a dream that her husband came down from heaven to this human world with her, and promised to be her stepping stone and help her cultivate.
After I read this article I wondered if my husband was also helping me with my cultivation. The answer was obviously yes. If I had a very caring husband who listened to me and protected me all the time, how could I get rid of any attachments?
After I realized this, I became determined to listen to Master and look at the issues from the opposite perspective. Whenever I had a conflict with my husband, I was the one with the problem. Whenever my husband was mad at me, I did not fight with him, or harbor any resentment. I treated my husband’s behavior as a reflection of myself, and I looked inward to find my own problem when I saw his problem. In most cases, I could indeed find the problem in myself.
Harmony in the Family
Master taught us: “As I’ve said, everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples’ thoughts.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2002 Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.,” Collected Teaching Given Around the World Volume II)
I noticed my husband gradually changing after I let go of the various grievances I held against him, and I sincerely appreciated his help in improving my cultivation. No matter how he treated me, I treated him with a calm heart, and cared about him sincerely. He stopped beating me, didn’t get angry as easily, and his words were no longer harsh.
In December 2022, during the COVID pandemic, like many Chinese people, my husband was infected. He coughed nonstop and could not get out of bed. I took good care of him, bringing meals to his room every day. He was afraid he would infect me. I was fine.
One day in July last year, my in-laws and my family had dinner at my sister-in-law’s home. Afterwards my sister-in-law started to have a fever, accompanied by vomiting and diarrhea. When she recovered a little bit, my husband fell ill with the same symptoms. We realized they were infected since my sister-in-law’s whole family had the same symptoms. We searched online and found that norovirus was the cause, and this virus was very contagious. They all worried about me, and checked on me every day. However, I was fine, and didn’t come down with anything. My husband joked that I was the “Iron Man” of the family.
Since my father-in-law passed away a while ago and my mother-in-law was getting older, my husband and I moved in to care for her in 2022. Two generations lived under the same roof, which provided many opportunities to improve my xinxing.
As my work schedule was relatively flexible, I stayed home most of the time, cooking for them and doing laundry for my mother-in-law. I went along with whatever they wanted regarding family matters. My husband felt the kindness of a Dafa practitioner and realized that I truly cared about his and his mother’s well-being. He changed, showed a great deal of respect, and always discussed everything with me. He became a gentle and considerate husband.
However, whenever I had a xinxing problem, like talking or doing things with competitiveness or resentment, he would revert to his old self, speaking insolently just as before, hurling insults whenever he felt like it. It became very clear that my husband was a mirror for my cultivation, and I needed to improve whenever there was disharmony in our family life.
Now, my husband no longer interferes with my Fa study and doing the exercises. He also is not against me going to group study and distributing truth-clarification materials. Occasionally, he even reminds me when it is time to send righteous thoughts.
Sometimes, I want to share articles from Minghui Weekly or other truth-clarification booklets with him. First, I ask whether he has time. Generally, he is willing to listen. I also read him some sections of Master’s supplementary Fa teachings, which I think he will understand. Usually, he can listen attentively through to the end.
In recent years, I have not been taking my cell phone when I go to group study or do any Dafa-related work. If my father calls during these times, my husband tells my father that I went out to do my things and my father understands what that means. My father no long worries about me and supports my practice because he sees that I have a harmonious family life, everything is smooth sailing at work, and my child is doing well academically.
Finally, I’ve understood that my husband has provided many opportunities to cultivate in our married life. During our conflicts, he has tempered my xinxing and helped me uncover many attachments, such as competitiveness, jealousy, resentment, self-interest, as well as being condescending, headstrong, opinionated, and self-centered. At present, I am still working hard to eliminate all these attachments. I know I am lagging behind compared with diligent practitioners. I hope I can find the heart I once had when I first started to practice.
Through more than 20 years of cultivation, I have at last realized the importance of looking inward and experienced the wonder of this magical tool. I sincerely appreciate Master’s compassionate and painstaking salvation, and I am grateful to Master for arranging for me to let go of my attachments through my married life.
