Written on July 10, 2002
(Clearwisdom.net)
Several days ago, as I held my hand up and sent forth righteous thoughts at 6 p.m., a scene appeared in front of my eyes: the boundless firmament was dense with sentient beings in yellow robes sitting cross-legged and holding up their hands to send forth righteous thoughts. I suddenly felt that they were the sentient beings in my cosmic system. Then I melted into the scene.
Looking at them making full use of time and solemnly sitting upright to eliminate the evil, I was saddened. Tears rolled down my face. Indeed, I wasn't in a good state in those days. I couldn't concentrate while sending forth righteous thoughts. Hence they were not strong enough. I wasn't doing a good job. I seldom sent forth righteous thoughts at set intervals, but only did so when the practitioners around the world sent forth righteous thoughts at the same time. Even if I sometimes sat down to send righteous thoughts, I was superficially doing a routine task. My enthusiasm had gone away and it was hard to get it back. Ever since the practitioners around the world started sending forth righteous thoughts four times a day, eliminating the evil with righteous thoughts became an urgent duty. Yet I was always thinking of the work that I had to stop temporarily to send forth righteous thoughts. Although I understood the significance of sending forth righteous thoughts from the point of view of the Fa, I could never lift my spirits, nor could I send forth strong righteous thoughts. I felt really upset with myself. Sometimes I thought I could only reach a low level in cultivation, and I began to resign myself to this thought. I thought that if I couldn't save many sentient beings, I would just save what I could. In fact, by thinking this way, I had already abandoned my responsibility and violated the vows I made in remote history to assist Master in the Fa-rectification. When that thought occurred, I didn't realize that it was a reflection of the corrupted concepts of the old forces deviating from the Fa. They intended to stop me from doing Fa-rectification. Master had revealed my problems through other practitioners many times, but I just didn't awaken or my will was too weak. While sitting there sending forth righteous thoughts, I was still in a muddled state, with an ache in my back and waist, eager for it to come to an end.
Then Master once again revealed the truth to me, and showed me the expectations of the sentient beings. I was deeply touched. All of a sudden I had a feeling that I was like a mother who had left her home for a long time, and traveled about. One day, she comes back home and finds her son anxiously waiting for her, afraid his irresponsible mother might leave him behind again. He dared not blame his mother, but seized the rare opportunity of her return to decorate the colorless home. My heart felt a sharp pain. Staring at the sentient beings, I felt very remorseful.
Master says in Touring North America to Teach the Fa, "If you don't cultivate well, many beings will be weeded out, and when you reach Consummation, when you return to your place, you'll find that an extremely large number of beings who at one time put infinite hope in you have been weeded out. Then in this cosmic colossal firmament, it's very possible that the cosmic bodies you represent will be in a broken and incomplete state, and countless sentient beings will have been weeded out. "
My heart ached at the thought that my cosmos was in a broken state because I did poorly in cultivation. Seeing their desire and expectation, I was filled with self-reproach and sorrow. A strength of will suddenly came from somewhere deep in my body: I will save them. I will be responsible for the sentient beings. Thus, I gazed at them. Benevolence filled my body and the space. Tears rolled down my face. "I will be responsible to all the righteous factors in the cosmos and eliminate the evil decisively. My righteous thoughts will function for sure ." My righteous thoughts were gradually strengthened. My body felt more and more comfortable. I entered tranquility. The powerful gong [cultivation energy] surged from the center of my palm and from each pore of my body. The enormous gong was sent far into the firmament. Twenty minutes later, I had a thought: to continue and make it half an hour so that I would join the practitioners overseas. Just then, countless golden bands of light extended from the edge of the cosmos to the center, connected, and made a dome. It was the gong from Dafa practitioners.
In the days that followed, I sent forth righteous thoughts together with the sentient beings in my cosmos. Many times, I did it for half an hour. Looking at them, I couldn't help shedding tears of benevolence. An urgent sense of duty grew in my heart. Then, I again experienced strong interference while sending forth righteous thoughts. I had a sharp pain in my legs and shoulder. I really wanted to put my legs down. After 5 minutes I did not want to continue any longer. But the scene of the sentient beings appeared before me, so I kept on sending forth righteous thoughts. I am the main body of all of them; if I stopped, I would be taking away their opportunity to eliminate the evil and rectify the Fa. Even if I were in so much pain that I could not enter tranquility, I would keep my hand up so as to let them complete the mission and at the same time eliminate the interference from the evil. When this righteous thought surfaced, my shoulder and legs did not feel as painful. Benevolence surrounded me.
Once again, I sent forth righteous thoughts every hour for a whole day. At 7 p.m., when I closed my eyes, I saw clear blue sky and pure white clouds. Everything was so clean, so pure, and wonderful. I knew it was an encouragement from benevolent Master. I couldn't go on like before, busy doing Dafa work and ignoring Fa study and the practice. No matter how busy I am, I have to take some time every day to study the Fa, do the practice, and send forth righteous thoughts. I can't let the evil take advantage of the loopholes in my mind. Thus far, I have come out of the muddle and maintained a clear mind. When sending forth righteous thoughts, I feel I am in the battle between goodness and evil in other dimensions. The solemnity and divinity are beyond words.
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