(Clearwisdom.net) Something had been baffling me recently, and I'd simply been unable to understand. Yesterday, two older practitioners discussed it with me and on the way home one word appeared in my mind, "Notion." I immediately enlightened and at last I was free of confusion.
I grew up in a traditional, well-educated family and was educated with Confucian traditions. So I formed a strong notion that, as a woman, I must maintain my reputation. Following this principle I walked steady steps on the journey of life. I studied, got married, gave birth, and was fortunate to have a gentlemanly husband. I was even more fortunate to obtain Dafa at just 27 years old. After becoming a practitioner, my life became even better. Over the past decade plus, I have followed Master Li's teachings and Dafa's moral standards in my words and deeds. I've earned the respect of my colleagues at work and of my family members. But in my thoughts I formed a strong concept that being a woman meant to behave like me. I never thought there was anything wrong with this notion.
However, no matter how correct a human notion may be, it is still something of humans, not Gods. For each of our attachments, Master will arrange different environments and conflicts to trip us up so that we can be enlightened from the fall, thus giving us the opportunity to remove the shortcoming.
Two years ago I got to know a young female practitioner who had made mistakes in the area of relations between a man and a woman. She later married a man much older than she was, and they lived together before the marriage took place. I worked with her doing Dafa work and we cooperated well, but in my heart I looked down on her. This thought was sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker, but I was unable to remove it.
Recently this practitioner got married formally, however she didn't hold a ceremony. My heart began to churn--I was so disappointed in her poor conduct. These thoughts occupied my thinking, and I was unable to calm down while practicing the exercises and sending righteous thoughts. It also caused a lot of disruption to my Fa study. I restrained these thoughts but couldn't remove them. I studied the Fa a lot to dig out my attachment, but I was unable to come to a clear understanding. I sent righteous thoughts to clear the interference but still it came. I knew I had not found my attachment completely and accurately and had not dug it out at the root. While studying the Fa, I thought that, since there are gods behind each word and they know what my attachments are, why wouldn't they please enlighten me? I looked at Master's picture and said, "Master, I just don't understand. What is my problem?" I was very anxious.
One night in a dream, I saw the face of a beautiful lady, but she had two crab claws on her shoulders. She extended her claws and clamped them around my waist. I send righteous thoughts to destroy it and continued to recite the righteous thoughts formulas. At this time a fellow practitioner came to help me, and the crab spirit was eliminated, with only its shell remaining. But when we had only walked a few steps, it appeared again behind me as a weeping ghost. The fellow practitioner said, "Send righteous thoughts one more time." I agreed. We eliminated it in a deeper dimension and it disappeared right away. After waking up I did not think about it deeply, but yesterday I understood in a flash: That notion that I have long held is like that crab spirit. It looks to be a correct principle in human society, so it looks beautiful. However, as a true cultivator, this concept is a stumbling block on the road of cultivation. Since I saw it as my own thought, it came to hurt me. I eliminated it with righteous thoughts but I only destroyed its exterior, in the same way that the attachment I found was just the exterior human heart and not the deep-seated factors. Therefore. it was like a ghost following me and interfering with me.
Under Master's arrangements these two fellow practitioners reminded me and helped me understand that this seemingly correct concept was obstructing me. That is, I was too attached to my own human principles. As a cultivator, I should use Fa principles to look at myself. Master said that no one is better than another--we were all lifted from hell by Master at the same time. Amidst ignorance and confusion, living in today's society where morality is sliding down so quickly, who has not made any errors? It can only be based on our own notions, the notion that one error is worse than another while other mistakes aren't so severe. In fact, no human concept or incorrect thought can be brought to heaven. So why should I be attached to a fellow practitioner's mistake? Master has not given up on her, what right do I have to look down on her? That concept of looking down on practitioners was hampering my relationship with fellow cultivators and interfering with the elevation of the whole body. It was not a concept that belonged to me, it was not my true self, it was formed after birth. But because this concept was in line with human principles, it was difficult to distinguish. I had held it tightly and regarded it as mine because it helped me save face, be respected by others, and feel comfortable. However, these are all human things, and clutching onto these human things, how could I have Gods' things? How could I have a God's compassion and tolerance?
After I recognized this false notion I eliminated it right away. My heart became light at once. When I thought of this fellow practitioner I was no longer disparaging. I thought of her many positive qualities: she is firm, she is warmhearted, she is never afraid of hardship, she is never impatient when teaching fellow practitioners certain techniques, she rents a house to organize fellow practitioners to have group Fa study, she never hesitates when doing Dafa projects, and so on. When I thought of these qualities, a delicate feeling arose in my heart. It must be compassion! I thank Master for his compassionate salvation and thank fellow practitioners for kindly pointing these things out to me. I must purify myself, tolerate fellow practitioners, be kind to them, and consummate what Master wants.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
