(Clearwisdom.net) Not long ago, I suddenly became aware of one of my human notions that was hidden very deeply. I knew that when I did Dafa work, it was for validating the Fa and saving people. However, deep down it was my desire to show off my talents that drove me to do the work. No matter what reasons I had on the surface, subconsciously I wanted to show how I was different and better than others. This thought seemed to penetrate everything I did and every word I said. This issue had shocked me because I had been practicing for many years and did not realize it until now.
I even acted like this when I did ordinary work. The attachment of validating myself was habitually brought into my way of validating the Fa. I did not cooperate with other practitioners well and when problems arose, I complained without looked inward. I couldn't see my shortcomings. In everything I did and every thought that emerged from my mind, it came with this thought: I am better.
I often thought I couldn't be wrong and other people were not good compared to me. My arrogance grew with such thoughts. When I encountered conflicts with other practitioners, I was always bitter and resentful. I looked for all kinds of reasons to defend myself and to prove that I was right because I was better. This way of thinking had a huge negative impact when working with other practitioners and doing Dafa work. It also hindered my personal practice.
Through studying the "Fa", I realized that no matter how good of a practitioner I was, on the surface I was still a human being. Now matter how smart I was as a man, it was still the lowest level of thinking and knowledge. Being smart isn't bad but as a practitioner I need to be rational and shouldn't be too proud of it. I often unknowingly placed the small wit of a human above the Fa and the mind of being a Dafa practitioner. This has stopped me from better helping Teacher to rectify the Fa and save sentient beings as a Dafa practitioner.
Only constantly studying the Fa with full focus, following the Fa in everything we do and truly looking inward can protect us from contamination from ordinary society. We won't be able to help Teacher to save sentient beings if we do not do well in our personal cultivation practice.
I want to share my experience with fellow practitioners and hope it can be a reminder to those who have the same issue as I do.
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