(Minghui.org) I used to be very combative, afraid to fail, and cared a lot about fame and self interest. Because my family had a “politically inferior” background, I was very disadvantaged, and my life was difficult. For example, on the junior high admittance test, my score was high enough, but the school would not admit me. I later learned that my position in school was taken by the son of an officer. During the Cultural Revolution, I was extremely cautious about everything. I knew I could not do things that other people could normally do, and could not say things that other people could normally say.
When I reached the age for marriage, I had a hard time finding someone because of my family background. When I declined a person that I did not like, people commented, “Whom did she expect to marry with such a background as hers? She is still so picky.” I was sad hearing that, and I hated myself, “Why was I born into such a family,” and I lamented my fate.
I married a poor fellow, and I struggled to make a living and wanted to do well so that I could show off to people. My husband opened a factory with partners after he had quit his job, and did well. We built a big new house, and bought new furniture. We were well off, but because I had lived in the period of the “Three-year Famine,” I was very stingy. I would not throw anything away, and felt happy if I earned anything extra or found something by accident. If I lost something or was taken advantage of, I would be extremely upset. At home, although I treated my parents-in-law nicely and got along well with two of my brothers-in-law that lived with us, I was very demanding of my husband. I often said to him, “I can take things from anyone, but not you.” My husband was a nice person, but I was just not satisfied, and always looked down on him and found fault with him. I was never wrong, always put all the blame on him, and would never stop an argument until he apologized.
I obtained a precious copy of Zhuan Falun by accident in 1998. The principles described in the book deeply attracted me. I learned a lot from the book, finding answers to such questions as: Where do people come from and where are they going? Why do people live in this world? Why and how do people get sick, how to completely eliminate illnesses? ...and how to get back to one’s original self, etc. My view of life changed completely. I made up my mind from then on that I would steadfastly cultivate to the end and never give up, because I had obtained the true way.
I thought in the past that I was by all means a good person, and comments about me in the village were favorable too. However, I no longer felt so after I began to study Dafa. I found that I was far from being a “good person.” My heart was particularly touched by the principle of “looking inward.” I thought, “When have I ever looked inward?” No matter who I had conflicts with, I always tried my best to cover up my own faults and blame it all on others.
The principles of Falun Dafa quietly cleansed my heart, and corrected my conduct and speech. My domineering attitude toward my husband diminished and I no longer found fault with him. I no longer fought with others in a conflict, and my mind was open and my mood was good. I always reminded myself that I was a practitioner and I could only look inward under any circumstance. My husband said I had changed.
One thing happened not too long ago: One day, my husband went back to his hometown to attend a wedding. I was out in the afternoon and got back home at dusk. I thought that since my husband had just attended the wedding, he probably would not want to eat dinner. I would study the Fa first, and decide if I would cook dinner after he came home. Soon, my husband came home. Seeing that I had not cooked dinner, he became very angry and began to fight with me. I went to the kitchen to cook right away. Just when I finished cooking, he rushed in and said, “I don’t want to eat what you have cooked,” and left.
I thought, it is always a cultivator’s fault when he has conflicts with an ordinary person. Furthermore, to cultivate in Dafa one must first be able to “refrain from hitting back when attacked and refrain from swearing back when sworn at” (from “Teaching the Fa at the Founding Ceremony of the Singaporean Falun Dafa Association”). Could I not tolerate it for just being sworn at? Could I then be counted as a cultivator? So I cooked some noodles for him and went to the neighbor’s house to look for him. He was still upset, and did not look at me. I smiled and apologized to him, and asked him not to be upset and to come home to eat. If the same situation had happened before, first he would not have dared to be mad at me. Even if he did, I would not let him get off easily. There is a saying in Chinese, “The landscape will change, but one’s nature will not.” But my mental quality improved and my morals elevated from cultivating Falun Dafa.
After I began to cultivate, my desire for self interest was also weakened.
A few years ago, we bought some seeds to make oil at the mill. Afterwards, we found that the weight of the oil plus the pressed seeds were heavier than the original of over 50 pounds. We believed that it was the seed vendor who made the mistake, and we wanted to go and pay him back the difference. But on our way home, our neighbor told us that he accidentally put half a bag of the pressed seeds on the balance. We rushed to the mill and told the owner. He said the pressed seeds belonged to them. Because I did not have money on me, I told him I would go back the next day to give them the money. At home, my husband and I recalculated and found that aside from the extra pressed seeds, they also short-counted themselves on the fee. The next day when we got to the mill, we took out an additional twenty yuan for the fee after we paid for the difference of the extra pressed seeds. They were moved and said, “We will take the money for the extra pressed seeds, but not the twenty yuan . We are very grateful already that you came back to pay for the extra pressed seeds. Otherwise we would never have known and would suffer the loss. You are just too nice.” I said, “I am a Falun Gong practitioner. Our Teacher asked us to be a good person, and always think for others. Falun Dafa changed me, otherwise I would never have behaved that way.”
Many people were at the mill at the time. One of them said, “Who said that Falun Gong is no good? These days who can be as good as they are?”
It is the principles of Falun Dafa that changed me. Teacher told me to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, as it is the nature of the cosmos, and is the original nature of human beings. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) attacks Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and madly persecutes Falun Gong practitioners. Those who follow the CCP will be punished by heaven. How can people who abolish the goodness of human nature have any future?
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Category: Improving Oneself
