(Minghui.org) I recently read a good article in Minghui Weekly , concerning dependency. I didn't pay much attention to it however, because I didn't think that I had this problem. Not long ago, two things happened that shocked me quite a bit. I would like to share my feelings and thoughts on the matter with practitioners, with the hope that practitioners who are attached to dependency will be able to eliminate it as soon as possible.
My husband is a capable person, and I always relied on him. I thought that I was very fortunate, and felt proud of this. However, this dependency was not a good thing in my cultivation.
I established a small materials production site along with Practitioner A. No matter what I did, I always listened to her opinion and followed her arrangements. Practitioner A was an assistant before the persecution began on July 20, 1999, and once created many information materials about Falun Dafa and the persecution. I thus felt that she was very capable. She was also experienced in managing things in daily life, so I depended heavily on her for many things.
She told me one day that she was not in a good frame of mind and needed to go away for several days. I panicked a little and didn't know what to do or how many materials I needed to make. While I was talking with Practitioner B on another day, she said that she also depended on Practitioner A. I suddenly realized that we were all depending on Practitioner A too much, which harmed her. It was our dependency that trapped her in this bad state.
Secondly, when two classmates of mine came to visit, I thought it would be a great chance to tell them the facts. I managed a small store and told my customers the facts. I opened my computer and showed them some informational materials. This had a very good effect, so I thus wanted to use the same method to show my classmates.
However, the computer did not open, and because I paid so much attention to opening the computer, I didn't get the chance to clarify the truth. I later thought to myself, “Why did I depend on my computer? Usually, even without my computer, I could tell people the facts. Why didn't I open my mouth today when my computer wouldn't work?”
On the surface, clarifying the truth to them seemed to be an ordinary thing, but in other dimensions it may have been a magnificent matter. Because I wanted to save them, the computer not working must have been interference to prevent them from being saved.
I still felt that I didn't do well, so I looked inside and surprisingly discovered that it was my attachment of depending on the computer that brought this interference upon me. It is I who clarifies the truth, not the computer. A computer is just a tool that helps me to demonstrate the facts more clearly. But I had been acting like a narrator and depending on my computer to clarify the facts, so the old forces arranged for my computer to malfunction.
I asked myself, “For whom am I cultivating? Why do I still depend on high level beings to manage my world?” I remembered the first time I learned about Dafa. In late 1996, my husband brought home the book Zhuan Falun, and I started to practice Dafa with him. At first, I only followed the format to study the Fa, and I understood the Fa only at a surface level, along with my attachments and fear. I did not understand the deep and profound meaning of the Fa.
After the persecution began on July 20, 1999 my husband gave up practicing Dafa. At that time, programs that slandered Dafa were being shown daily on TV. A thought suddenly appeared in my mind, that before July 20, everyone was saying that Dafa was good, and practiced it without a doubt, but now the situation was turned upside down. Wasn't this a time to test who truly and firmly believed in the Fa?
During that time however, some practitioners lost their direction, and because my husband gave up practicing, I had no one to share my thoughts with, and I gradually also gave up practicing. After a period of time, some practitioners returned to the Fa and shared things with me, so I began practicing again. However, my husband was still blinded by his attachments.
Looking back on my thirteen years of cultivation, I was completely influenced by other practitioners. When practitioners came, I spent more time studying the Fa. When practitioners were persecuted, I felt nervous and was afraid. I felt that I was cultivating for other practitioners and my reputation.
My husband has now returned to Dafa and is very diligent, and I am again being affected by him. We study the Fa every day, as long as we have time, and I can truly become calm every time. The Fa has improved me a lot, and our daily conversations are all related to cultivation. I have now truly discovered the profound meaning of the Fa, and feel the benevolence and magnificence of Master, as well as the mission that every practitioner shoulders.
I would like to remind other practitioners who have the same attachment to stop waiting for other practitioners to send materials to you. Stop waiting for other practitioners to find you and share with you. Stop staying behind and waiting for the day when the attachment of fear disappears, and stop waiting for the time when you have sufficient finances to do something for Dafa. While we are waiting, the beings who we should save are being destroyed, day by day. The beings of our world are also facing destruction because of our waiting and fear.
Master said,
“The cultivating and clarifying of the truth that mainland China students are doing amidst ordeals and terrifying pressure, that is something that you decided upon in history and what you wanted at that time. In addition, this was made possible by many predestined elements, so it had to be done this way.” (“2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital”)
This is the decision we made before we reincarnated, and is our only goal in this human world. We should not be deluded by the illusions of everyday people, and should remove the human shell, for only then can we expose many attachments and disintegrate them.
Master said,
“You’ve all seen that, going forward, the evil doesn’t have enough strength for it to be made use of. Gradually the evil climate that the old forces use to test Dafa disciples, as well as the setting in which you save sentient beings under evil pressure, is disappearing. That’s because the evil is now insufficient to make use of. The old forces believe that its power is no longer sufficient to test Dafa disciples and the world’s people, and what they do wouldn’t count [as testing Dafa disciples] anymore. In that case, Master’s making use of the old forces’ interference while having Dafa disciples save sentient beings is also concluding.” (“20th Anniversary Fa Teaching”)
We should also cultivate ourselves, save sentient beings, and assist Master in rectifying the Fa during the current stage. When the evil is disintegrated, our cultivation will end. However, have we reached the standard of Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples? Do we really follow Master's words? Our master consciousness needs to be strong and clear about our goal. Our level improves little by little when we cultivate, and our mighty virtue is being established step by step by ourselves.
Fellow practitioners, let us be more diligent. Master has set up the best future for us. As long as we believe in Master and the Fa, and truly follow Master's words, we will have the best future forever. The attachments that we cannot eliminate now are just obstacles in our path towards consummation. Therefore, we are also showing how solidly we believe in the Fa and at which level we are placing ourselves.
My level is limited. Please point out anything inappropriate.
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