(Minghui.org) Two recent episodes made me aware of some deeply rooted attachments related to self-validation. I realized that I had to cultivate them away since they created gaps among practitioners and affected our group cultivation environment.
Mobile Messages
Practitioner A once gave me a calling card with a 9-yuan balance. Our original plan was to send out multimedia messages to expose the persecution.
Practitioner B told me, “Multimedia messages won't go out anymore, so don't waste money on those.”
“The ones I sent worked,” I said.
“How do you know?” B asked.
“Well, the cost for sending them was deducted from my balance,” I replied. “And I received feedback from some of the recipients.”
“I think you should still follow up with a call to make sure people are getting these,” she insisted.
I thought to myself that B was just too attached to her own views. I thought that maybe because she could not send out her own messages, she felt that no one else could, either. I didn't even think to look for my own attachments of combativeness, showing off, and self-validation.
Later, B and I got together again. “Please give me a phone number to try,” I said. I sent out a multimedia message, and then she called to ask whether the person had received it. He confirmed that he had.
When B ended the call, I realized that she was trying to be responsible for sentient beings and cherishing our resources. In contrast, my attachment to self-validation was quite evident.
Lunch Choices
The Fa-study group in my area faced a dilemma about lunch. I once suggested to a coordinator that, to save time, we should just have a simple lunch of buns and water.
But the practitioner who often hosted us usually made a big pot of rice and several dishes. We felt ill at ease. If we did not eat what she had prepared, it was a waste of her efforts. At the same time, we did not want this to become an expectation and a burden for her or anyone else. This eventually led to the host feeling a lot of pressure, and eventually nobody wanted to host group Fa-studies anymore.
I realized later that my self-validation brought harm to the group. What we ate for lunch was not a big deal. The problem was that I insisted on my own views. I thought that my ideas were “correct” and used them to cover up my attachment to self-validation.
The old forces took advantage of my loopholes, and they caused conflicts in an attempt to destroy our group cultivation environment. I sincerely apologized to this fellow practitioner once I noticed my problem. “I did not do well,” I told her. “I spoke in a condescending tone, and I stressed you out.”
She reacted as if nothing had happened. “We'll study the Fa at my house next week. We'll share some buns and water for lunch.” Our Fa-study group resumed after I found my problems and corrected them.
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Category: Improving Oneself
