(Minghui.org) I was introduced to Falun Dafa in 2012, and soon after, I heard about Shen Yun Performing Arts. That is to say, I heard that a classical Chinese performing arts group was coming to our city, and that most of the artists are Falun Dafa practitioners. But that was the extent of my understanding.
It was not until the summer of 2013 that I learned that local practitioners were involved in preparing for the upcoming Shen Yun performance. I was not clear at the time that Shun Yun's main mission was to save sentient beings.
I wish to share some of the understandings I gained while the 2014 Shen Yun show performed in Vienna. These understandings were instrumental in fundamentally transforming my cultivation.
Letting Go of Attachments
My desire to take part in the Shen Yun show preparations increased while I listened to local practitioners discussing their involvement during our weekly Fa studies. I learned that there still weren't enough volunteers to help prepare for the shows.
However, two things stopped me from stepping forward. First, I had never seen Shen Yun. How could I convince people to go see the show when I hadn't seen it myself and wasn't sure what it was about? Secondly, since I hadn’t yet read what Master said about Shen Yun, I had no idea about Master’s direction concerning the show.
After talking to my husband about what was blocking me, he suggested that I read Master’s most recent Fa teaching on the subject. Before I followed his suggestion, I decided to participate in distributing Shen Yun special editions.
As soon as I made the decision I was very happy and absolutely sure that I'd made the right decision. After I decided to help, I no longer needed to see Shen Yun to believe in it. My belief in Master and the Fa was enough. I was able to discard the thought of lacking proof of the show's value.
When talking about the Celestial Eye, Master said:
“No seeing, no believing. That may sound quite reasonable. Yet from the perspective of a slightly higher level, it is not reasonable.” (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two)
Furthermore, I discovered I had a human perception of marketing and advertising, as well as the fear of not being sufficiently knowledgeable if someone asked me questions about Shen Yun. I then read some relevant Fa-teachings and understood that Shen Yun is not an everyday matter, and, therefore I, a practitioner, didn’t need ordinary advertising techniques to promote Shen Yun.
By reading Master's latest teachings I improved my understanding of what it means to be a Fa-rectification Dafa disciple at the present time and how to follow Master’s arrangements. My confidence increased exponentially.
I understood that Shen Yun is instrumental in saving sentient beings. A large number of people are saved during each performance. It is an opportunity personally coordinated by Master and it is something divine. I was only responsible for bringing sentient beings to the show.
Finding Attachments and Cultivating Them Away
My daughter was not yet 6 months old and had just started teething when my husband and I began distributing Shen Yun materials. I was also taking classes at the university and faced my first exam.
I couldn't study until our daughter went to sleep. Therefore, I couldn’t go to bed until late each night but I was then awakened every two hours because of my daughter’s teething pains. My nights were short and my sleep was constantly interrupted.
Unfortunately, the relationship between my husband and I became rather strained. This was made worse by my coming down with head and joint pains that seemed to attack me out of nowhere and were, at times, very intense. Initially, I blamed lack of sleep for my pain and began to go to bed earlier than usual. I began to neglect my Fa study and exercises. Then, despite going to bed early, I realized that I still felt exhausted when I woke up the next day and the pain kept getting worse instead of lessening.
A new thought developed, which helped me realize that my tribulations weren’t due to lack of sleep or to stress over the university exam. These symptoms developed on the human side. Yet, as a cultivator, aren’t I supposed to measure myself with a different standard? I asked myself what caused these tribulations and I began to look within.
I discovered many attachments, including wanting to relax, laziness, being envious, fear of becoming ill, pain and depression. At the same time I was certain that Master had arranged this opportunity so that I could let go of these attachments.
I no longer saw lack of sleep as a serious impediment, and I no longer calculated how many hours I slept each night. I got up when my daughter needed me and went to sleep once everything was taken care of. Furthermore, every night I read a lecture of Zhuan Falun after I put my daughter to bed. I soon realized that my situation had improved.
Yes, I still had to face the pain and the tiredness, but this no longer affected my daily life or my mood. They stopped taking precedence. The situation between my husband and I grew more harmonious by the day. We both went to weekly Fa-study on Saturdays and Sundays and decided to distribute Shen Yun materials on an additional day.
Slowly I began to realize that how we cultivate while participating in the distribution of Shen Yun materials is connected to the saving of sentient beings.
Surprisingly, I felt more energetic and light, no matter how many problems I had the night before! This was instrumental when I distributed Shen Yun materials. Also, the relationship between my husband and I grew ever more harmonious. I often felt that the Fa was sustaining us and pushing us forward.
It was still difficult for me to leave the house. There were times when I felt foggy headed, rather crabby and in a bad mood while I walked to the tram that took us to where we distributed materials. Sometimes my unsettled mood affected my husband and we frequently quarreled when going to our assigned area.
While I rode on the tram, I read an article in Essentials for Further Advancement and my fogginess disappeared. There were other times when just walking to the tram cleared my head. This interference was an obstacle that we had to overcome before we distributed the materials. It was a test that showed if we were worthy of being Dafa disciples.
Trusting in Master
My university exam was scheduled the same day that Shen Yun was to open in Vienna, and finding time each night to study was rather difficult. After working all day I had difficulty concentrating. I often fell asleep during class at the university and I usually couldn’t remember what I read.
I began to think that I couldn't pass the exam since I had so little time to study. I considered studying more during the day, but realized that if I did, I would have less time to distribute the Shen Yun materials.
I then thought, “I shouldn’t think like an ordinary person, because I’m a cultivator. I should do my best to distribute the Shen Yun materials and study as much as I can for the exam, no matter how tired I am.”
I understood that this was a test I was facing on my cultivation path. What was more important, my personal success in human society or my success in saving sentient beings? Therefore, I continued to study the Fa and put aside my doubts. I was certain that I would do well as long as I didn't allow an ordinary person's mindset to take the front seat. I needed to follow Master’s arrangements.
Passing the Test
After Shen Yun 2014 performed in Vienna, my husband and I agreed that everything that happened, including our daughter’s long-term teething was no mere coincidence, but a test. We realized that we had to let go of our attachments and we had to focus on understanding the Fa. Master had tested our hearts and our trust in Dafa.
There were times when we joked about the university exam and said that everything would disappear in one fell swoop and truly, that's exactly what happened. The first day of my exam at the university turned out well. On the second day I saw the Shen Yun show and all my illness symptoms disappeared. My daughter’s teeth broke through just a few days after the Shen Yun closing night.
Looking back, I can say that I had several breakthroughs in my cultivation during the Shen Yun shows and this has fundamentally changed me. The cultivation tests during that time helped raise my level and I gained deeper insights.
I've only mentioned a few things, but gaining a deeper understanding of the Fa and continuously sending forth righteous thoughts helped a great deal. Everything was instrumental in helping me realize that I’m a Dafa disciple inside out and that I can trust Master’s arrangements during those times when I want to give in to my human attachments.
I thank Master for these wonderful opportunities that allowed me to find and eliminate my attachments, discover my ordinary human thoughts and let them go. Also for the compassionate hints and help I received on my cultivation path.
The above is my understanding at the present time. Please kindly advise me if there is anything more I need to let go of.
(Presented at the 2014 European Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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