(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2007 at my university in Dublin, Ireland. In my heart I always knew that Falun Dafa was a very special practice that is unlike any ordinary qigong practice intended for healing and fitness. Unfortunately, due to my human attachments and an inadequate understanding of the Fa, I eventually stopped practicing.
I always knew that Falun Dafa was truly a magnificent cultivation practice, and in 2013, I realized that what I truly wanted was to practice it. After I resumed practicing at the beginning of 2013, I felt that Master hadn’t given up on me.
Eliminating Thought Karma and Strengthening My Faith in Falun Dafa
I had a bad dream a few months after I resumed practicing Falun Dafa. When I awoke from the dream and studied one of Master’s articles later that day, I felt that I was being told that I had a deformed Falun. After reading Master’s article, I felt shocked and deeply upset. I believed I had damaged something so precious of Master's. I felt that I was no longer permitted to continue cultivation practice in Dafa. I was deeply traumatized for a few days.
Due to my attachments, it was as though demons were starting to run around in my mind and I started to produce very bad thoughts that I couldn’t control. I constantly tried to push out these thoughts. However, this took a lot of conscious effort and energy. I was determined not to let them control me, but it got to the point where I wondered if I would be able to overcome these thoughts.
Once I had this thought, the bad thoughts became very intense. It was as though they were pouring down on me. I found it difficult to see any way out of this hopeless situation. I didn't think I could tell anyone, as I thought that would be looking for external help.
I was also fearful that if my friends knew I was having such bad thoughts, they might think it was as a result of practicing Falun Dafa. I didn't want them to have negative thoughts about it, as I knew that Falun Dafa was good, and that my problems came about due to an unrighteous mind.
It eventually got to the point where I felt that I was no longer worthy to continue practicing Falun Dafa. I told a practitioner that I wanted to give back the books, as I felt undeserving of being a practitioner. At the time, I had the wish that the books should go to a person who could sincerely cultivate in Falun Dafa.
The practitioner shared his understanding and encouraged me. He said that if I wanted to continue practicing I should keep studying the Fa and doing the exercises.
The bad thoughts momentarily subsided after studying the Fa, and my mind felt much more tranquil and pure. I thoroughly enjoyed studying the Fa. I felt that once again Master hadn’t given up on me. I was most grateful to our Benevolent Master for having given me another opportunity to continue to practice cultivation in Falun Dafa.
When I look back at this experience, I realized that I was using human thinking to overcome the negative thoughts instead of adhering to the Fa that Master taught. Once I remembered that I could push out those filthy thoughts, the thought karma became weaker and weaker.
Master taught, “The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” ("Drive Out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I was grateful for this opportunity to improve in cultivation, as I had a deeper understanding of what a privilege it is to be a Falun Dafa practitioner, and how precious this opportunity is.
Learning to Cooperate with Practitioners
I was fortunate to take part in the Art of Zhen, Shan, Ren (Truth-Compassion- Tolerance) International Exhibition held at Pollock House in Glasgow in the autumn of 2013. At that time I was between jobs, so I was able to stay for the whole duration of the exhibition. This was my first experience working alongside other practitioners.
I saw that Dafa practitioners worked extremely hard to promote and set up for the exhibition. We started early mornings, and worked until it was nicely presentable for people to view.
Practitioners also ensured that they respected the Pollock House management by leaving everything clean and tidy when we finished. Every morning we would send righteous thoughts, followed by Fa study and exercises. I truly treasured this environment.
Master taught, “During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at their roots.” (“Digging Out the Roots,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
There were times on the project when I felt that my understanding of the Fa was being tested, as was my determination to assist the project and awaken sentient beings.
Some mornings I would feel tired, or while studying my mind would wander, and I wasn't able to concentrate. There were times that I wanted to sleep longer and join practitioners later in the day. One day I felt particularly sleepy, however I knew in my heart that I ought to go to the exhibition with the other practitioners. Since the others had already left, I was determined to go, so I called a taxi and hurried to the exhibition.
It was also a good opportunity for me to talk about the value of the Art of Zhen, Shan, Ren to the taxi driver. After arriving, I shared with practitioners my experience and continued to do the exercises. I then felt energized and ready to work hard.
I once found it difficult to concentrate during the exercises. I also found my mind wandering while studying the Fa earlier that day. After sending righteous thoughts, the coordinator asked me to promote the exhibition. I felt exhausted. I spoke to the coordinator, asking if it would be okay for me to study before going out. She told me that she needed me to give out leaflets to help people be aware of the exhibition.
I realized the coordinator truly wanted me to distribute the leaflets. I was able to see the situation from her viewpoint, and after sharing with her about my tiredness and that in order to do a good job I felt I needed to study the Fa, she suggested that I study for awhile. A moment after I left her, I was instantly energized, and no longer tired.
Explaining the Facts about Falun Dafa in Chinatown
After talking with practitioners at the art exhibition in Glasgow, I realized that a key place to speak to Chinese people about Falun Dafa and the persecution was in Chinatown. I realized that as a Westerner, I could also assist in breaking through the lies created by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and the myth that only Chinese practice Falun Dafa.
My experiences when helping people understand Falun Dafa and the persecution in Chinatown were very powerful. I realized the importance of quickly working together to eliminate interference and to awaken people.
I was fortunate to participate in the Chinatown efforts to explain the facts almost every weekend at the end of 2013. This gave me a lot of experience and helped me to upgrade my moral character.
I've noticed recently the large Chinese community in Birmingham and I will now focus on Birmingham and Stratford-Upon-Avon. By working and sharing with Birmingham practitioners, we have been working together to awaken and help the Chinese people there to quit the CCP and learn about the beauty of Falun Dafa.
Working Hard to Overcome My Attachment to Lust
When I resumed practicing Falun Dafa at the beginning of 2013, my thoughts of lust subsided. However a couple of weeks ago, I was interfered with by the demon of lust.
I struggled and gave in to temptation, feeling regretful. After the interference, I would try to dismiss what happened and try to continue as before on my cultivation path. However I would then be interfered with again, give in to temptation, and again I would feel regret.
I realized after sharing with practitioners that I was constantly dismissing the issue instead of taking this good opportunity to look within and resolve the issue fundamentally.
After looking within, I found myself asking, why am I suffering? Why am I practicing cultivation? I realized that my reason for practicing cultivation in Falun Dafa was rather selfish as I was practicing so that I could reach Consummation. Yet my mind wasn’t thinking about putting Dafa first, nor was I considering the sentient beings that I was responsible for and needed to awaken. I changed my motive and I am now determined to put Dafa first.
I was still being interfered with by the demon of lust. After further sharing and looking within, I realized that I was being controlled by thought karma, and thought karma wanted me to give in to the demon of lust.
After I was able to realize that what I truly wanted was to break free of thought karma, and to study and assimilate to the Fa, I found that the interference became less. I realized however that there were still some attachments that I had not let go.
After further looking within, I realized that I had a strong attachment to comfort, and that this attachment impacted my sending righteous thoughts in the morning, my punctuality and doing the exercises, and my inability to sit in the full lotus position. I have also realized similarities between laziness and comfort.
I am determined to break free of them and continue on my path of cultivation practice.
Going Forward
I feel most privileged to be a Dafa disciple. I am determined to set even stricter requirements of myself in cultivation. I am determined to improve my Chinese, so that I can talk to Chinese people and help them quit the CCP.
I hope to make more phone calls to Chinese police stations and detention centers, to help them learn the truth about the persecution of Falun Dafa, and eliminate the interference that controls them.
I hope to be able to increase the amount of time I spend studying the Fa and doing the exercises, sending righteous thoughts, and share and encourage practitioners to establish a good cultivation environment where sentient beings can understand Falun Dafa, and practitioners can improve.
This is my cultivation sharing and my understanding is limited. If I have said anything inappropriate, please kindly point it out.
Thank you Master. Thank you fellow Dafa disciples.
(Presented at the 2014 European Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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