(Minghui.org) I was still very young when my father stepped onto his cultivation path. My parents were separated and didn't get along well. But, I saw my father regularly. Being with him was so peaceful, especially because there were no fights, which was so much different from what I experienced at home. It was a completely different environment.
My father tried to introduce Falun Dafa to me. Alas, I just couldn't quite understand what he was talking about. He waited a few years before he tried again by giving me a flier, which I read. Yet, I just couldn't walk into the practice.
However, a few years later the practice piqued my interest, but only after reading some books about spiritual matters. They opened my mind to something new. Now, I finally began to understand my father and it also aroused my interest for Falun Dafa.
Overcoming My Mental Block
My father gave me the book Zhuan Falun , which I attempted to read. But, my mind was still blocked and I just couldn't understand what was written in that book very well. Therefore, I just put it aside.
After my sister began to practice Falun Dafa, she gave me the practice's introductory book Falun Gong . She demonstrated the exercises and gave me a revised copy of Zhuan Falun . This version had the definitions on the bottom of each page, which was very helpful.
Once I started reading I just couldn't stop. This book Zhuan Falun was what I had been looking for all my life. It contained everything that was important to me since my childhood. It spoke of harmony, truthfulness and selflessness, as well as thinking of others first when saying or doing anything. In short, it advanced the principles Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance.
I had taken a long time before I stepped into the practice. But, with the help of my father and sister, as well as Master opening the way, I finally stepped on the cultivation path nine months ago. Zhuan Falun uprooted me and changed my life completely.
Letting Go of Notions
Alcohol was part of my life. Without alcohol I couldn't enjoy myself. But, since I read Chapter Seven in Zhuan Falun , where Master explained the effect of alcohol on practitioners, I quit drinking. Yes, it was quite clear to me in the past that alcohol harms the body, but at the time it didn't truly sink in. Only Master's explanation opened my eyes.
I no longer pocket any money I find on the streets. This money doesn't belong to me and if I don't touch it, the true owner gets a chance to get it back. On the other hand, when I found a wallet, I turned it in to the police because I still had a conscience. However, loose money was something else, as it was so easy to just pocket it. When I find money nowadays I eye it warily. Then, I remember Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun that discusses loss and gain.
I must admit, money is of great importance to me and a strong attachment. I always wanted money, aspired to have money, but could never keep it. I either lost money or was hit with a large bill. Yet I wasn't miserly when I had some money. I gave a larger tip at a restaurant or invited friends out. But, if truth be told, I wanted to strike it rich and afford every available luxury. Although, I held the thought in the back of my mind that I would help others, donate a lot of money and do good. I continued to aspire to being wealthy and just couldn't let go.
Zhuan Falun made me aware that I had to let go of my attachment to money and I understood that I would get what was mine, but not anything that I shouldn't have. It was clear to me that Master changed my life completely. If I should have money I will get it, and if I shouldn't I just won't get it.
Exuding Fear Poisons the Environment
I discovered that I was afraid for no reason and I needed to overcome it. After finding out that practitioners talk to people about the persecution of Falun Dafa in China and distribute flyers during a number of activities, including informational days, I was filled with fear. I felt that I would touch a raw nerve in people and would be involved in soliciting during such activities. I refused to take part in such activities.
Falun Dafa is something good. Therefore I wanted to change my attitude and I began by distributing flyers at an informational booth. Later, I realized that being fearful was crazy. It also dawned on me that if I hold negative thoughts, the people who receive the flyers would feel that I was really getting on their nerves. It is I who is creating the poisoned environment and the other person was just responding to me.
Next, my fear returned when collecting signatures during a signature drive. But, I wanted to tell people the facts about the persecution in China. Then, I remembered that I had been involved in a signature drive at school. I asked for a petition and decided to walk around my neighborhood, collecting signatures and making people aware of organ harvesting and the unprecedented persecution. I cleared my intention with other practitioners. They thought this to be a great idea and even offered to come along. Master helped me find a way to let go of my fear. The signature collection was similar to an activity I had done before. Additionally, I was not alone.
Fear Causes Problems
Unbelievably, I developed fear of doing the fifth Falun Dafa exercise. In the past I had no problem sitting in the Lotus position, but now I could only sit in the half Lotus position, was stiff, felt tense and was in pain. Therefore, I just did exercise one through four.
When doing the exercises with my sister and her husband, I wasn't sure of what to do concerning the fifth exercise. Making excuses was ridiculous and not truthful. When doing that I would be lying to myself and to her. Anyway, she knew that I hadn't done the fifth exercise for quite a while. Well, I'm doing the fifth exercise again, but not every day.
I'm wondering why I'm in a panic because of the pain, because I generally can bear pain. I remember that before stepping into the practice, I took little medication when in pain, even when I had severe back pain. My sister told me that it was up to me and no one could tell me what to do. Therefore, I tell myself that I'm eliminating karma and thus can bear the pain.
Gaining Respect
People rarely took me seriously in the past. Whenever I said something they just smiled, but didn't show respect. I was always bullied and I thought that this happened because I was different from others. I was not interested in superficial things, such as cosmetics, sex and parties. I preferred harmony, truthfulness and cooperating with others. I offended easily and people verbally abused me.
Once I changed, I went to discos, drank and partied. However, instead of things getting better, they worsened. I began to talk like a construction worker, my sentences were laced with sexual slurs and cuss words, and I argued and fought with others. When it came to the opposite sex, I was very combative. Therefore, men harassed me sexually and I found no peace. Thus, my thoughts of men were at a low point.
Since reading Zhuan Falun I have reduced my using swear words quite a bit. I avoid fights and try to practice forbearance. I also am respecting myself more and no longer belittle myself. I no longer have to put up with sexual slurs. I have gained respect and people will listen to me wherever I go. People are taking me seriously and I am appreciated. I can hardly believe this because I'm not used to that.
Former classmates who used to laugh at my expense, who exploited me and annoyed me, have stopped swearing when I'm around and will feel bad if by mistake they swear in my presence. Men no longer harass me as they used to. And when they do harass me, I look at it as a test that I have to pass.
I'm so grateful that I was introduced to Falun Dafa and that my life has turned around so drastically.
I'm also grateful that neither my father nor my sister had given up on me and support my efforts. I also thank Master for the many small hints and tests and that I was given the opportunity to become a Falun Dafa practitioner.
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