(Minghui.org) After reading“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference,” I understood the solemnness and seriousness of cultivation. Master mentioned consummation multiple times. I could feel that Master worried about disciples' lack of diligence in their cultivation.
I used to consider myself a veteran disciple who had braved the evil persecution since July 20, 1999 and was bound to achieve consummation as long as I followed the course of Fa-rectification. I believed that Master would rid me of all my little attachments at the moment of consummation. Therefore, after years of cultivation, I still have not let go of many attachments and often held an attitude of letting them be. I have not made a real effort to eliminate my attachments.
Master said,
“But it’s cultivation—whatever happened to being “free of gaps” (wu-lou)? There are no little things … Any human thoughts or attachments you have will make it hard for you to improve and elevate,......” (Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference)
Lack of Motivation for Clarifying the Truth
Looking back over the past 20 years of my cultivation, I have just begun to realize that, although I followed the course of Fa rectification, I lacked motivation and the will for Falun Dafa truth clarification. I was missing a sense of urgency when it came to saving people, and the genuine concern for people's futures due to their not getting to know the truth. On top of all these, I often harbored a thought deep in my mind that I wanted to escape this evil, oppressive environment and exchange it for a new one.
I have experienced all kinds of hardships and pressure in the seemingly endless persecution. My nerves were high-strung, which made me tense and easily upset in the first few years when the persecution was most evil. I experienced numerous cultivation tests and difficulties due to my attachments. There was the never ending slanderous propaganda defaming Master and Dafa, learning about fellow practitioners' arrests, imprisonment and torture, and more. I wished more than once that one day I could leave here and be in an environment where I could finally catch my breath.
It also happened multiple times that I almost had a chance to leave, but things fell through. Master had hinted to me that this was the place where I had vowed to be at this time in history. Yet, I continued to harbor the desire to leave. The desire became even more acute when I heard about how fellow practitioners went overseas and got to see Master in person and listen to Master's Fa teaching. Each time, I had to study the Fa a lot in order to temporarily suppress my desire to leave.
Master told us,
“As you know, a Buddha or a God can give up his life for living beings and for the interest of the universe; they can give up anything, and even remain unmoved by it.” (Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference)
Studying the Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference made me realize that I must get rid of the mentality of hoping for a new environment, which is a huge gap in my cultivation. I had not taken my prehistoric vow seriously and thus did not live up to the title of “a Dafa disciple in the Fa rectification period.”
Writing the article to this point, I suddenly recalled Master's teaching,
“There’s something I told you before. I said: what is a Buddha? "Tathagata" is what human beings call someone who’s come with the truth and the power to do what he wants, whereas real Buddhas are guardians of the cosmos and are responsible for all righteous elements in the cosmos.” (Guiding the Voyage: Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference)
Master, I want to achieve that and I will achieve it! Please help me! Thank you Master!
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