(Minghui.org) Reading a practitioner's sharing article on Minghui, called "Cultivation Issues During Fa-rectification," I was touched by the section called "Master Li Worries." I knew from past experiences that Master worries about Dafa practitioners a lot, which includes me.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in April 1999. Master purified my body, clearing me of all my long-term illnesses. I was so grateful!
Jiang Zemin the former Chinese dictator, began the persecution of Falun Gong the same year, and practitioners started Minghui.org to tell people the facts about Falun Gong. Jiang’s followers also built websites that published fake "lectures from Master." I did not know how to use a computer, but I received a lot of Dafa materials that other people had downloaded and printed. Some of these materials were real, but some were fake. A practitioner who was detained for a month even told me that he had read "Master's new lecture" in the police station. The lecture was given to him by a policeman.
I was confused. I very much wished to read Master's new lectures, but I was afraid to stumble across a fake one.
In 2002, I had heard "Essentials for Further Advancement II" had been published.
Master said:
"The objective of Essentials for Further Advancement is to correct common problems and incorrect situations that have appeared in your cultivation as a whole. " ("Teaching the Fa at the Assistants’ Fa Conference in Changchun")
I was very excited and tried to get a copy, but a thought suddenly occurred to me: What if the book is a fake? The same night I dreamed I was at the playground at my old middle school. A speaker hanging on an electric pole was broadcasting Master's new lecture. Many people were listening. I could hear Master's voice, but I was unable to hear exactly what he was saying. After the lecture, I did an exercise with the group of people. I woke up in a cold sweat after I realized that what I did with the group was not Falun Gong.
I decided that I would only read Falun Gong books that had been formally published before the persecution. I now realize that I had willingly submitted to the old force's arrangements because I was too worried about whether certain Dafa materials were fake. The old forces had shown me fake scenes in my dream, which made me stay away from the process of Fa rectification.
Yet Master never gave up on me. Master has kept caring about me, protecting me, giving me hints, and sometimes getting other practitioners to remind me to stay on the correct path. When I met with tribulations and upgraded my xinxing by studying the Fa, Master reduced my karma; when I had demonic interference from my own mind, Master mercifully got me out of trouble; and when I felt depressed or discouraged during cultivation, Master encouraged me by letting me see scenes in other dimensions to boost my confidence.
Between 2002 and 2012, Master gave me hints on at least three separate occasions.
The first hint came shortly after I decided not to read any new lectures. I had a dream I was waiting for a bus with many people. When the bus arrived, I saw that it had three doors. I tried to get on the bus through one door, but there were too many people. So I rushed to another door that seemed to have less people, but I still didn't manage to get on. The bus eventually left without me. When I woke up I was thinking, “Am I making some sort of mistake?” I reassured myself that it was only a dream.
A couple of years later, I dreamed that I was waiting for a bus again. I was in the countryside and I was the only person at the bus stop. I thought, “Last time I missed the bus because there were too many people, but this time there is no one to compete with me.” I waited and waited, but the bus never came. I asked a person who was selling goods nearby, and it turned out that the bus route had been altered.
Three or four years later, I dreamed that I was waiting for a bus again. This time I was at a terminal stop in the city. It was not crowded. I double and triple checked the signs to confirm my bus was running. I watched intently as one bus after another came and left. For some reason, the bus I was waiting for never came. When the last bus of the day left, I checked the bus signs again. I was so shocked to discover that the signs for the bus route I was waiting for had disappeared!
These three dreams—though several years apart—were fresh in my memory as if they had just happened. Did these dreams mean to tell me that something was wrong with my cultivation? Was Master giving me hints? At the time I felt that something separated me from the Fa. Even when I did the exercises, it seemed like a mere formality. Regardless of what I tried to do, there was no improvement.
Fellow practitioners told me that I should do the three things that Master has told us to do. I objected to the idea, since I did not know what Master had said.
I had an idea that I should go overseas to get Master's newer books and see what Master really said. I chose Taiwan since there was no language barrier for me. But I heard that Chinese customs were very strict on enforcing the prohibition on Falun Gong materials. If I could not bring any Falun Gong materials home, I could at least read them in Taiwan, I thought.
I joined a tour group to go to Taiwan in 2012. I was only allowed to leave the group during the evenings. On the third evening, I found a bookstore that had eight Dafa books including Zhuan Falun, "Touring North America to Teach the Fa," "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference," Essentials for Further Advancement II, and Hong Yin II. I bought the books and ran back to our hotel. I could hardly wait to read them!
The first book I read was "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference." I cried as I read it.
The day before leaving Taiwan, I packed the books in my check-in luggage. As I waited in line at customs to enter Mainland China, I recited Lunyu in my heart over and over again. I waited a long time at the baggage claim. Fewer and fewer suitcases came out, but I still did not see mine. I was nervous and remembered the tour guide's warning about bringing in Dafa materials. Then I thought, “No! I have Master who protects me!” I said in my heart, "Master, please help me bring these books into China. There are several new practitioners who need to read them."
Before I completed my thought my luggage stopped right in front of me. Tears rolled down my face; I was so thankful to Master!
I returned home and hurried to read all the books. I then took them to a fellow practitioner. She knew I had traveled to Taiwan, and she had asked me to bring her a copy of Zhuan Falun if I was able. Earlier on, she printed many Dafa materials from Minghui.org. She had told me that they were Master's new lectures and suggested that I read them, but I had refused. Now, the two of us compared her printed lectures with the books that I had just brought. We verified that the materials published on Minghui.org were all real, I realized that I had made such a mistake! My doubt and stubbornness had made Master worry about me for too long!
I soon had another dream about waiting for a bus. In this dream I was in my hometown in the countryside where only one bus travels to the city each day. I heard the bus horn early in the morning, so I grabbed my luggage and ran toward the bus stop. I thought to myself: I cannot miss the bus again like I did the last three times! I arrived at the bus stop exactly when the bus came. The bus slowed down but it did not stop. I flew into the bus through one of its windows. I knew Master was telling me that I had finally caught up.
I heard a coordinator say that a practitioner in another area only read Dafa books that were published before the persecution and refused to read any new lectures. I took out the books I had brought in Taiwan and asked the coordinator to take them to that practitioner. I believed that this practitioner was struggling with a similar problem to the one I had dealt with for so long.
To conclude, I would like to quote a question and answer from Master's "Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference":
"Disciple: Minghui has continually published articles asking people to stop disrupting the Fa, but some students in China still haven’t gotten clear about it.
Master: Indeed. They are being controlled by the evil, and they even oppose Minghui. Do you know why I publish information on Minghui? It is to tell you that it is trustworthy, that it is a platform via which Dafa disciples can communicate. Speaking from another angle, Master is also keeping an eye on it, and it won’t have any major problems."
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Category: Improving Oneself
