(Minghui.org) Cultivation had been difficult for me for a long time, because I had a short temper.
I am kind, truthful and tolerant to my colleagues, because this is a basic requirement for a Falun Dafa practitioner. Therefore, most people thought I was a good person. However, I often lost my temper over trivial things at home. When I said bad words, I often suffered immediate retribution in the form of biting my tongue or a toothache.
My true nature was that of a bad-tempered person who often showed her demonic side when at home. I felt that I merely pretended to be compassionate and tolerant outside my home.
Letting Go of Communist Indoctrination
Master wanted us to cultivate compassion and Buddha nature. Therefore, I looked within to find the source of my short temper. I found selfishness, and thoughts and ideologies that developed from growing up in a communist society.
To let go of what I had learned in the communist society, I listened to the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, “Disintegrate the Party Culture” and other audios from the Minghui website whenever I had time. These audios helped me eliminate the things that had taken hold in my mind from the communist indoctrination.
Letting Go of Bad Notions
Then, I read Zhuan Falun with a different mindset and I felt that I melted into the Fa. I felt happiness, calmness and serenity when I read the book.
Studying the Fa helped let me find the origin of my bad temper. I wanted others to do my bidding. Besides, I thought I was in the right, did not allow others to challenge or contradict me, was conceited, and often looked down on others.
Studying the Fa changed me into a more peaceful person. During times of conflict, I knew it was a test to see if I was a true practitioners. Therefore, my first reaction was to look at the matter based on the Fa, and I asked myself what Master wanted us to do in such situations.
Regret Over Action Against Former Practitioner
I transferred to my current work unit two years ago and one of my colleagues is a former practitioner. She gave up Dafa because she was detained and harassed after she appealed for justice for Dafa in Beijing.
She appeared overly cautious and often told me that cars parked nearby were the authorities monitoring her. She even suspected that colleagues were monitoring and videotaping her while using cellphones. I often felt annoyed and finally I lost my temper.
“You imagine all these things,” I said. “You are asking for it by constantly thinking of these things. Why are you so fearful? If they are truly following and monitoring you, just face them and clarify truth about Dafa to them.”
She stopped, but after a few days, she began to talk about her suspicions again. I knew I must look within. By studying the Fa, I realized that I did not treat her with compassion.
She had been detained and persecuted. She had stopped studying the Fa and doing the exercises. Therefore, she is now an ordinary person and no longer a Falun Dafa practitioner. I held regret for how I had treated her.
When I changed, her attitude also changed. She appeared more relaxed and not so stressed out. This encouraged me and I thought about inviting her to read the Fa with me and practice Dafa again. What a pity if she had obtained the most precious Fa once but lost it in the end.
Not Afraid to Tackle Human Notions
I am not attached to time and the end of the Fa-rectification. However, I have a strong feeling that the end of the Fa-rectification is close.
When I look around, I see many former practitioners. They still have not returned to Dafa, and millions of people are still deceived by the Communist Party's lies and propaganda. I must use every second available to save more people.
There will still be obstacles on my cultivation path, such as human notions and attachments, however I am not afraid of them because I know how to handle them, which is “Study the Fa well and follow Master's teachings.”
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Category: Improving Oneself
