(Minghui.org) My in-laws treated me poorly for many years. I resented them until I became a Falun Dafa practitioner.
I realized that my combativeness, resentment, and anger were attachments related to selfishness, fame, and self-interest. Once I removed these attachments, I felt lighter and happy. And husband's family also changed for the better as I made changes within myself.
A Tough Existence
My mother-in-law did not like me even before I married her son, because I was unemployed and from a poor family. She only helped us out a little toward building a home, even though she could have afforded to give us much more. My husband paid for most of the home by exhausting his savings.
She and my father-in-law did not contribute a penny for our wedding, although they had approximately 70,000 yuan. We had to pay all the expenses from the gifts we received from friends and relatives at the reception.
My husband's parents, two sisters, and their families moved in with us soon after the wedding. Because my husband's employer was struggling financially, my husband had to find work elsewhere to support his extended family. I started a small grocery store.
With my husband away, I had to cope with various challenges and do all the housework and gardening, even when I was pregnant.
My father-in-law could barely look after himself after his back surgery. My mother-in-law always sided with her three daughters during conflicts, and she continually found fault with me and was often irritated.
My eldest sister-in-law often took things from my store. She and her youngest sister did not do any housework. I had to take care of their children as well, and they expected me to do everything, regardless of how hard I was working.
My husband's family even asked us to move out of our own house. My husband and I got angry and refused to move. In the end, we spent another 20,000 yuan to buy another home for ourselves.
My in-laws subsequently bought a house for their youngest daughter and a condominium for themselves. They also gave 20,000 yuan to their eldest daughter. I was so angry and disappointed that I decided I would not take care of my in-laws when they became unable to care for themselves.
I wanted to become wealthy. I started a kindergarten with my mother. Taking care of more than 80 children proved to be too much for me, and my health deteriorated: I suffered from severe headaches, neurological problems associated with insomnia, gynecological issues, back problems, and blood in my stool. I had to take a lot of medications.
A New Life
My life turned around 180 degrees in 2011 when I started practicing Falun Dafa. I studied the Fa daily and followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I have been healthy ever since.
Looking inward, I found many attachments, such as resentment, a competitive mentality, jealousy, and attachments to fame and personal interest. I gradually removed those attachments and became more lighthearted.
I began visiting my in-laws with presents. Our relationship quickly improved.
My father-in-law had been paralyzed for several years and finally was sent to a nursing home because my mother-in-law could no longer take care of him. I decided to take care of him in our home despite objections from my husband and his family due to the number of children attending our kindergarten. I told them that, as a Falun Dafa practitioner, I should consider others first and help my father-in-law. My mother-in-law was touched and in tears.
“Please regard me as your own daughter,” I said to my father-in-law. I helped him bathe every day and washed his clothes. Sometimes when I helped him to relieve himself, there were accidents, and I ended up having to take a shower to get clean. For sure, I could not have endured this without practicing Falun Dafa.
I spent almost all of my time looking after my father-in-law, except for when I was teaching at the kindergarten. I often recited Master's teaching:
“A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.” (“Realms” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
My father-in-law was never really spiritual and did not believe in miracles. However, he agreed to listen to the Fa after he observed how I had changed. He recited “Falun Dafa is good” and quickly felt better. He also gained some weight, so he could stand for a while and started to walk with my assistance. A month later, he was able to walk with crutches.
His family was surprised to see his improvement within such a short period. I talked to them about the power and magnificence of Falun Dafa. They gained appreciation for Dafa and withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliates.
A few months later, my mother-in-law had a stroke and became partially paralyzed. My youngest sister-in-law, who lived with her, did not want to look after her, so my husband and I took over.
My sister-in-law then sold her mother's apartment without permission. She also purchased life insurance for her daughter with the money, and she purchased life insurance for herself using her mother's savings. My mother-in-law's heart broke.
She said to me, “I am sorry I didn't give you any money! The savings my daughter took were for your son's college education.”
Initially I blamed my sister-in-law, but realized this incident was a test for me.
Master taught:
“Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating.” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
Looking within, I saw I was still attached to money and a nice home.
Master also taught:
“Thus, what people consider good for a person is to fulfill more self-interest among everyday people, thereby living a better life. To the great enlightened beings, this person is worse off.” (Zhuan Falun)
I said to my mother-in-law, “Don't worry. If you want, you can live in another apartment of mine. And I've saved enough money to pay for my son's education.”
My mother-in-law started practicing Falun Dafa and soon recovered. Studying the Fa, meditating, and sending righteous thoughts are now a part of her daily life.
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Category: Improving Oneself
