(Minghui.org) I went to visit a friend in the hospital to clarify the truth. I had been telling him about Falun Dafa for many years, but he had not withdrawn from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). My heart was very pure this time, and I had no fear that he would not quit. This time he withdrew as soon as I started talking.

I then went back to work. I felt sleepy and weak when I arrived. I almost slumped onto my desk several times. I managed to stay awake until it was time to go home.

I went to my apartment. I had trouble making it up the stairs and fell onto my bed. I had no strength and still felt very sleepy. I knew that I had a gap the old forces were exploiting and that I should not sleep.

I forced myself out of bed and walked back and forth. I told myself that I should not go to bed or comply with the demon of sleepiness. I should not let it defeat me. I went to the kitchen and pushed myself to do housework to keep myself awake, but I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was in a trance.

I sat down and sent forth righteous thoughts to drive away the demon of sleepiness, but I was not able to stay sitting up at first. I forced myself to sit erect and resumed sending forth righteous thoughts. I visualized myself as celestial swords that pursued and eliminated the demon of sleepiness in different dimensions, leaving it nowhere to hide. I also visualized swords forged of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to accomplish the same goal.

I sent forth righteous thoughts for half an hour, but I was still as sleepy as before. It was now 5:55 p.m., one of the four times to send righteous thoughts with practitioners around the world. I continued chasing the demon of sleepiness and tried to kill it with my divine power. Then a wicked thought appeared in my mind: “Finish righteous thoughts and go to sleep. You are not wrong to go to sleep after you finish.”

I realized that I was not meeting the standard for a practitioner. I knew that I did not need to sleep. After I finished at 6:10 p.m., I felt refreshed and clear. My sleepiness and weakness had disappeared.

A deliveryman brought water to my home soon afterwards. I told him that if he withdrew from the CCP, he would keep himself safe, and he agreed to quit. If I had not sent forth righteous thoughts and was still sleepy, I would not have saved him. I realized that the old forces were interfering to prevent me from saving sentient beings, but my understanding needed improvement.

I felt weak and dizzy the whole morning the following day. After finishing sending righteous thoughts at noon, I fell asleep. I was awakened by a phone call two hours later. I looked inside for the reason why I was still sleepy after sending righteous thoughts although doing so had helped me the day before.

I reflected on my methods for saving people. I had tried to excel in my job to bring in more clients so that I could clarify the truth to them. Was I wrong?

I was well known and respected in my industry, and it was a good environment in which to save sentient beings. I thought this was the path I had to walk, and I had saved many people this way.

I recently spent a lot of time upgrading my skills so that I could widen my circle of business contacts and save them. Was I too anxious to be successful? Was I attached to this? Did I have a competitive mentality?

Our company is highly ranked in the industry, and the competition is fierce. Everyone on the staff works very hard, and their lives are not easy. They have to sacrifice a lot to be successful. I worked even harder than they did to keep myself on top. I thought this was what I should do so that I could validate the Fa.

My managers and colleagues respected me because of my dedication and thus supported me in practicing Falun Dafa. However, I was in the same state for a long time and did not realize that I had to break through to a higher level. I was content with people’s praise and the low level I was in. I needed to raise my xinxing.

Master has mentioned “the appearance stems from the mind.” Master also said:

“In reality, the entire world has been divided up with a piece apportioned to each Dafa disciple. This is reflected in how things are on Earth, and the people in this world correspond to the cosmos.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)

In China the CCP officials are corrupt, and they hoard wealth, while the average person's income is low. People put up with a lot of stress just to survive. They work extremely hard to keep a good job and avoid being unemployed. The competition in our industry is intense, and my colleagues put in countless hours despite their already high salaries. And the competition between companies keeps escalating. I do not like this kind of competition, but I could do nothing to stop it and passively accepted it.

I worked extremely hard to show people how capable a Falun Dafa practitioner is. Looking within, I discovered that I had a strong competitive mentality hidden beneath the surface. And I had been sacrificing a lot for my employer since the beginning of the persecution.

However, Master said: “Different levels have different Fa” (Zhuan Falun) Now I think I am a Dafa disciple, so why not be the person who “Puts a stop to its downward slide” (“Illuminating All,” Hong Yin II) when facing the competition? Why did I not stop the downward slide with my divine power? I had acknowledged this deviated competition and was a part of it. Being immersed in it, I could not pinpoint my erroneous thoughts.

I realized that I had to send strong righteous thoughts to slow down the pace in my industry. Because of the intense competition, people have committed suicide or had nervous breakdowns. They have to slow down so that they have the time and energy to come into contact with practitioners and listen to the truth. I also realized that I had to spend more time studying the Fa instead of working so much.

After looking within for hours, my sleepiness disappeared at about 5:30 p.m. Yet when I started to send forth righteous thoughts at 5:55 p.m., the demon of sleepiness interfered again. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts but felt frustrated that I still had omissions that I was not aware of. What were the gaps?

When sending forth righteous thoughts, I realized that I acknowledged the old forces to some degree. Deep in my mind, I acknowledged some of old force's logic: I thought that if I had shortcomings, the old forces had the right to take advantage of those shortcomings and persecute me. So the old forces tried to destroy me using the demon of sleepiness. I had to negate that warped logic within myself.

In our original heavenly states, we did not have the notion of competition. The old forces implanted this attachment into the human race. Competition is especially intense in China because Party culture has replaced traditional values. The notion of vicious competition was accepted by society. I was polluted by Party culture for decades, and this deviated notion manipulated me for many years.

I enlightened that competition was not part of my true nature. I will eliminate it completely. Party culture, created by the old forces, has harmed people terribly. I now have a deeper understanding of Master’s Fa about completely dissolving the old forces' arrangements.

My sleepiness disappeared as soon as I enlightened to this.

Falun Dafa has elevated me again.

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Category: Improving Oneself