(Minghui.org) Continued from Part 1.
Looking Within Is Not Just Lip Service
I told myself to look within when I encountered conflicts. Then I realized that I always want to look outward at the specific issues, at the different things in ordinary human society, and at other people. Even when I tried really hard to focus on myself, there was a force in my mind that directed me to look outward. I became aware of this phenomenon only after very careful introspection.
After I experienced this several times, I realized something was not right. I asked myself, “Where does this force come from? What kind of matter is it? It's opposing my righteous thoughts, so it cannot be me.”
When I dug deeper, I realized that “looking outward” is a very strong notion that exists in the three realms. It is also actual matter. It is because of “it” that I was not able to look within easily.
How long has this notion existed? Perhaps several dozen years, several hundred years, or tens of thousands of years. Once I realized its existence, I tried to turn it around with strong righteous thoughts. At first, it was very difficult. I kept telling myself to "look within, look within..." But the notion of "looking outward" still directed me, even though I knew the only way to discover those hidden attachments is to look within. I had to turn it around!
I kept on strengthening my righteous thoughts. About a week later, it finally did turn around. Now, when I want to examine my thoughts, my focus is on my thoughts; when I want to examine my behavior, my focus is on my behavior. I am now able to reliably direct my thoughts to “look within.”
Why do some practitioners say they “look within” but always look outward? There is a reason. “Looking within” is not simply a phrase to be repeated or a one-time effort.
Truly Looking Within One's Heart
Once I was able to really look within, I found all kinds of attachments: some were easy to spot, while others were more cunning. The ones that are easy to identify include resentment, a competitive mentality, and fear. As soon as these surface, people can see them.
It takes some effort, however, to discover the cunning ones. They hide deeper and sometimes pretend to be other attachments; the worst ones can even control other attachments to interfere with our efforts to look within.
Sometimes, when I found an attachment at the superficial level, I realized that there was another attachment behind it. When I kept searching, I found another attachment behind that other attachment. I just had to keep searching until I found the true origin of that attachment.
For example, when two people argue, it is easy to see the competitive mentality manifesting; then one may see that it is jealousy that is behind it. Looking further, one may see that it is the attachment to personal gain that is controlling jealousy. What is behind the attachment to personal gain? When I keep looking within, I feel that I am constantly searching in more microscopic levels for those attachments.
Sometimes the attachments know that I am looking for them, so they make me uncomfortable and resentful and make me feel like I want to give up the thought of looking within. They make me feel that I don't even want to hear the words "look within," and they make other thoughts interfere with me and distract my main consciousness to do other things. They just don't want me to find them. At times like this, I must be sure that my main consciousness is resolute and determined to get rid of the attachments.
Some attachments are weak, and I can eliminate them with one single thought, but some are relatively strong. I can feel that they are still there after trying to eliminate them for an entire day. But no matter how difficult it is, I don't give up.
Some practitioners stop paying attention to an attachment if it is not eliminated right away. That is the same as letting it continue to exist. It then hides in a microscopic dimension after it interferes with the practitioner. It will persecute the beings at that level, too. If a practitioner is controlled by the attachment and does something that does not meet the standard of a Dafa disciple, or has thoughts that are not aligned with the Fa, the old forces use it as an excuse to persecute the practitioner.
I also realized that a practitioner must have a solid foundation in cultivation in order to catch those distracting thoughts that come to mind. Some thoughts are as quick as lighting, and it is easy to believe that they come from one's own mind. Therefore, we must use the Fa as the standard to measure every thought and every action.
Master said,
“A person's behavior is dictated by his thoughts.” (“Melt Into the Fa” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
One time, I was the last to leave the office. I packed my bag and headed for the door. A thought popped up, “Go look at that colleague's desk.” By the time my main consciousness was aware of it, I realized that I had already turned in that direction. I came to my senses and stopped myself. I was sure I wasn’t thinking of looking at that colleague's desk a minute before.
Where did this thought come from? It entered my mind in a flash, it deceived my main consciousness, and it controlled my body. A shiver passed through me when I thought about all the thoughts I’ve had in the past: how many were really mine?! If one cannot distinguish the source of ones' thoughts, any external thought can control and interfere with oneself. It could be notions, attachments, beings from other dimensions, or the old forces.
Master said inZhuan Falun,
“It is very easy to manipulate an ordinary person’s mind.”
If cultivators cannot examine their own thoughts and actions using the standard of the Fa, how much of their behavior is based on their main consciousness? Do their actions follow the Fa or the old forces?!
How frightening! How many practitioners are the real masters of their own thoughts and behaviors?!
Sometimes, when I feel that I can't distinguish myself from my attachments, I tell myself to step out of the specific issue and step out of attachments, desires, and notions. I pretend to be a bystander. Usually, the moment I can do that, my main consciousness immediately becomes clear, and then I am able to face the issue with a calm mind. This method works well for me. When I can separate my true self from notions and attachments, I am able to eliminate them, because they have nowhere to hide and no way to trick me.
Using the Fa as the Standard
Master said:
“And in fact, whether you’re in China or outside, wherever you are, cultivation is different for each Dafa disciple. I have said that there are no role models, no examples, and that at most one can draw upon others’ experiences and see how they handled things while having righteous thoughts. If you try to do things by mimicking what they did, or blindly do whatever they did, then you are wrong. Each person is traveling his own path, and each is gaining enlightenment from Dafa as to what will one day be his own Fa.” (2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital)
During the years I have cultivated, I’ve often seen someone do well and then thought I wanted to learn and copy that person's method or use his/her understanding or behavior to guide my own behavior. I see other practitioners having a similar impulse.
For example, they say things like: “We can do it this way because that practitioner who wrote that nice experience sharing article did it this way” or “So-and-so cultivates really well. We should follow her way” or “This practitioner has his celestial eye opened. He saw it. We can follow him...” and so on.
In fact, I knew that I should not just do what others do and that I need to use the Fa as the standard for everything, including what other people say and do. Why do I still think like this, then? Where does this thought that always make me want to copy others come from?
One day, I asked myself, "This thought deviates from the Fa. Where does it come from?" It was difficult to discover the root cause from the behavior itself. Then, I thought about it from another perspective: "Ordinary people like to do as others do. When they see that someone looks nice in a certain type of clothing, they want to wear that type of clothing, too. If a student has good study habits, every student in the entire school is encouraged to follow her example. If a company has a good system, everyone is encouraged to adopt it.”
So copying others is very natural for ordinary people–so natural that it has become a notion.
When this notion is carried into cultivation, however, one may see that practitioners copy each other regardless of the specific situation, setting, or cultivation state. We forget that this is cultivation, not ordinary society.
Everyday people are all at the same level. When they learn from each other, it is all within the same level. But Dafa practitioners are at different levels and in different cultivation states. When you copy someone, you are only imitating his/her behavior in the human world. You don't know what attachment, righteous thoughts, or understanding of the Fa led to that behavior.
My understanding is that Dafa disciples must use the Fa to guide their words and actions and use the Fa to judge what one sees, hears, and feels.
(To be continued)
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Category: Improving Oneself
