(Minghui.org) I am a peasant without a formal education who has practiced Falun Gong for many years. Practicing Falun Gong has given me a youthful appearance and a strong body. No matter what tribulation I face, I always believe in Master and the Fa.
Wake-up Call
The knowledge of how to truly cultivate escaped me for a long time. I kept busy clarifying the facts about Falun Gong but regarded getting things done as the basis for cultivation. I used human notions to judge who was right or wrong whenever I faced unpleasantness. That meant that I missed many opportunities arranged by Master to raise my xinxing and strengthen my righteous thoughts.
Master gave me a few “stick warnings” in 2015, which helped me understand the Fa principles on a much deeper level. They came in the form of conflicts with fellow practitioners. Until that time, my xinxing and enlightenment quality were stuck at the same level for a long time. I was ashamed when I realized the many chances I'd missed to improve.
Material Production Site
To supply fellow practitioners with Falun Gong informational materials, I operate a small material production site in my house. This site has been running smoothly for eight years. I've had no major problems with the equipment.
Because I spent most of my money to set up and maintain the site, other practitioners have helped with some of the costs needed to run it. Because of the persecution, I always watch what I say. Thus, very few people know that I make the materials.
Besides producing materials, I also work in our family’s field and vegetable gardens. No matter how busy I get, I always make the materials for my fellow practitioners.
For a long time I only produced pamphlets and the Minghui Weekly. Other sites provided DVDs. To ease the burden on other production sites, I began to produce DVDs with Falun Gong content two years ago.
Benefiting from Looking Within
One morning I distributed almost 40 Shen Yun DVDs and felt that I had done a great job. Then, several days later, I found that a fellow practitioner was avoiding me. I wondered what was going on. I asked her why she didn't come to my house to get Shen Yun DVDs. Instead of responding nicely, she shouted, “Save them for yourself since you are so good at distributing them!”
I was taken aback and thought, “You couldn’t distribute that many DVDs in a whole year and now you are jealous and yell at me. What kind of Dafa disciple are you?”
As soon as that thought popped into my mind, I knew that it was wrong. I believed that there was nothing wrong with my handing out a lot of DVD’s. But why was she so mad? Was there something I did not understand?
I looked within. Since I was the first to practice Falun Gong in my village, I became the coordinator. I took care of everything, big or small, but it created a lot of zealotry. I had a strong show off mentality and looked down on others. This thought made me realize that the problem was mine and not the other practitioner's. That practitioner exposed my hidden attachments.
I sincerely thanked her in my heart. Meanwhile, I sent righteous thoughts to get rid of those human notions. She then showed up at my house for DVDs after I let go of my attachments and my xinxing improved. We've never had a problem since.
This was the first time that I directly experienced the benefits of looking within.
Conflicts Over Suing Jiang
Another practitioner shared her understanding with me about the large number of practitioners who were filing criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese dictator who launched the persecution of Falun Gong.
That helped me realize that I should take part in that effort, too. But because I am illiterate, I could not prepare the documents by myself. I asked her to fill out the papers for me. Once completed, I mailed them to the Supreme People’s Procuratorate and the Supreme People's Court. Soon after, I received confirmation that the documents had been received.
I talked with other practitioners in my village many times and urged them to do the same. Most of them became actively involved, but one insisted that I fill out the papers for her. She was upset when she found out that I was illiterate and had to ask another practitioner to fill out the forms for me.
She asked me to help her find a practitioner to complete her criminal complaint. However, I told her that, since she was educated, she should do it herself. She did not say a word, but looked at me with an unhappy face.
Nothing Happens by Chance
Although I knew that she was not being reasonable, I still felt uncomfortable. A Fa principle states that nothing happens by chance for a cultivator. There had to be something I needed to identify and remove.
I looked within and found that I was attached to hearing compliments and being respected. I did not like being criticized. I sent righteous thoughts to remove these attachments. Soon, I felt much lighter in my heart and I had no problems dealing with that practitioner again.
Nearly 20 practitioners in my village filed lawsuits against Jiang Zimen and mailed them using express mail. Soon, they received their confirmation letter. I was glad they did what is right.
Realizing My Thoughts Were Not in Line with the Fa
Not long after we filed our lawsuits against Jiang, I learned that practitioners in a nearby city who had filed lawsuits were questioned by police and community center staff. Their mail had been forwarded to the 610 Office. Some were interrogated at a police station.
After practitioners in my village heard about this, some gossiped behind my back. They claimed that if anything happened to them, it was all my fault. Some asked me to take responsibility for the situation and any consequences. I felt wronged when I saw the hatred on their faces and heard the sharp tones in their voices.
What I had done was for their sake. I worried that no more practitioners would file lawsuits against Jiang. I had helped them with their paperwork, yet they blamed me instead of thanking me. I felt really disappointed and somewhat depressed.
Then I realized that my feelings were just human notions and that those thoughts were not in line with the Fa. It would be impossible for fellow practitioners to treat me like that if everything I had done was in accordance with the Fa. There must have been something that I needed to find and remove.
I calmed down and searched within. I found many attachments, including my fondness for seeing smiling faces and hearing kind words. I wanted other practitioners in the village to agree with my opinion and file a lawsuit against Jiang. If they did, then, as their coordinator, I would have a good reputation and gain face.
I also found the notion that, whenever I did something good for someone, I expected that person do something good for me or at least to thank me. All of those notions are attachments and sentimentality to seeking fame and self interest.
With so much impure stuff in my mind, how could I do Dafa things well? How could my fellow practitioners feel comfortable with my coordination? Their behavior was aimed at my human notions to help me improve. I realized I should thank them. I removed all my bad thoughts and notions that were not in line with the Fa.
Master helped me remove all bad notions, and my xinxing was elevated without pursuit. Now I can calmly face all kinds of problems. I am guided by the Fa, which allows our group to improve as a whole.
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Category: Improving Oneself
