(Minghui.org) I used to have a very good relationship with my husband, but his attitude changed after the persecution of Falun Gong started. We fought with each other to the point of divorce. Then I used the principles of Falun Gong as my guide, cultivated myself, and eventually turned things around.
Conflicts Begin after I Start Practicing Falun Gong
My husband is hard-working, honest, and quiet. Although he is not good at socializing, he loves me very much and has cooked for me since we got married.
His attitude changed when I started to practice Falun Gong in 2011. He wasn't happy as he feared I’d bring trouble to our family due to the persecution of Falun Gong.
I tried to help him to do some of the housework and cooked for him in an attempt to make him happy so that he would support my belief. But he criticized my work and didn't eat the meals I cooked for him.
I was annoyed and thought to myself, “Whether he is happy or not about my belief, I will cultivate till the end.” I then stopped helping him to do any of the housework.
When I went to practitioners' homes, I saw how they looked after their husbands. I decided to change and started sharing some of the housework and even cooked for him again.
I was detained in the local police station for two days for practicing Falun Gong. My husband was very frightened. I tried to explain why the Chinese Communist Party persecutes Falun Gong, but he didn't want to listen at all.
After some time, his company went bankrupt, and he lost his job. I didn't earn much and had to pay the mortgage. Money was very tight.
We had an argument one new year over something trivial and he kicked me. I couldn't stand it and told him that I would divorce him. I went to my parents’ home.
I know that Master Li, founder of Falun Gong, doesn't encourage us to divorce, but he doesn't say we are not allowed to. I complained about my husband in a family meeting. I said that he didn't give me a good life and was against my practice, so it was better to divorce.
Our families didn't want us to divorce, and I really hadn't made up my mind about it.
Marriage Revived after I Look Inward
Fellow practitioners heard about the conflict between me and my husband and told me that I was wrong, that I needed to study the Fa more.
Master said:
“If you’re going to be real practitioners, you have to look at things from a really high level, and you can’t use ordinary people’s opinions to interpret things.” (Zhuan Falun)
That may sound simple, but it is really hard to put into practice. It took me nearly a year to let go of some of my attachments.
For example, I didn’t like the fact that my husband was not the type to socialize and I felt that I lost face when I took him out. That meant that I was attached to my reputation. I also wanted my husband to listen to me and do what I wanted. That was an attachment to wanting to be in control. Since nothing is absolute, it doesn't matter how things are done. My biggest attachment was a desire for wealth and a comfortable life.
After studying the Fa, I realized that it was predestined that we became a couple in this life and that I should cherish our relationship. I had to remove all of my attachments.
Now my husband and I are friendly and courteous to each other.
My mother-in-law felt embarrassed that her son had to rely on his wife to support him, and she apologized to me one day. I replied, “We are one family. What’s mine is his, and what’s his is mine.”
We don't care about who has to do more housework, and we don't care who makes more money. As long as we both try our best and think about others.
Marriage is not only about love, it also includes loyalty. I credit Falun Gong for helping me maintain a happy marriage.
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Category: Improving Oneself
