(Minghui.org)
Greetings, Master!Greetings, fellow practitioners!
A long time ago, the old forces made detailed arrangements for each Dafa disciple, in order to interfere with the Fa-rectification of Master and hinder the salvation of sentient beings. Every emotion, feeling or desire was acquired by us after birth, or even carried over from previous lives.
Acquired Notions
When I think back to my childhood, I always associate it with fear. Since I was very young, I saw my parents arguing. My mother was always angry, and this created a lot of insecurity and fear in me. Once I saw them hitting each other. I could not understand what was happening, as I only knew that I was afraid. Some time after that, my parents divorced.
The divorce caused my fears to grow: fear of the loss of love and affection, and fear of being alone. I became insecure, introverted and shy. My father won parental rights, so my mother visited us every Saturday. I didn't want to see her, because I was afraid to see her sad and depressed face.
From then on, whenever I encountered adversity, I had fear in my heart.
Finding Falun Dafa
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for five years, a self-cultivation practice of mind and body, which requires one to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. For the past 18 years, Falun Dafa practitioners in China have been persecuted and tortured by the Chinese Communist Party.
Not long after I started to practice Falun Dafa, a car hit me when I was riding my bike. At the time of the accident I was not afraid, as I knew how to behave like a real practitioner. However, after that, every time I rode through the same place, I felt afraid.
Another time, my husband was ill. He was using my tablet and started reading something that referenced Master talking about practitioners marrying each other. This was caused by my attachment to insisting that he read about Master's teachings.
The old forces took advantage of this gap, causing my husband to develop negative notions towards Falun Dafa. Things started changing little by little. I stopped reading the Fa whenever my husband was at home. Sometimes I did it in secret, without realizing that the attachment to fear was growing silently and that I was accepting the old forces' arrangements.
Recently I started to translate articles for the Epoch Time website. It took me two to three hours to finish the articles that were assigned to me. Most of the time, my husband was at home. I was very nervous and afraid that he would realize what I was doing and forbid me to practice Falun Dafa, so my work was deficient. I had coordination and communication problems. Although the coordinators never complained, I knew that it was a problem.
Master said:
“Were everyone to consider things with righteous thoughts, then I would say they’d have no need to cultivate. ( Laughing) And when there is human thinking, there are problems and things that fall short; there are problems with cooperation; and interference to things as a result of fear.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Fa Conference Marking the Tenth Anniversary of Minghui’s Founding” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference X)
The next day, when I was practicing in my bedroom, I heard my husband talking to me. When he saw me, he asked, "What are you doing?” and I said, "Practicing" Then, I saw how he frowned and felt upset by it.
I realized that something wasn't right, because I felt guilty about it. As I looked inside, I found a series of fears again, being afraid of the responsibilities that come with being a practitioner, of the scolding, of the physical pain, of tribulations, of validating Dafa in my home, of recognizing my mistakes. But it wasn't enough to see the attachment, I had to understand it, and how was it formed and why, in order to begin to eliminate it at the root. Moreover, my feelings and resentment towards my husband brought unnecessary tribulations.
Master said:
“Actually, all that is not aligned with Dafa and Dafa disciples’ righteous thoughts has been caused by the old forces’ involvement, including all the unrighteous factors in you. This is why I have made sending forth righteous thoughts one of the three major things that Dafa disciples do.” (“On the Waves Stirred Up by the Article About Assistant Souls”)
I realized that I was being persecuted by the old forces, that I had accepted their arrangements. I firmly denied their interference and began to send righteous thoughts more often.
Some time later, when I was studying Zhuan Falun, my husband came out of the bedroom. I said to myself, “There is no need to be afraid.” He asked me, “What are you reading?” and I answered him without fear: "Zhuan Falun." He muttered something, but that was all.
While reading a cultivation experience published by the Minghui website titled "Illuminating Me to "Appearance Arises from the MindAppearance Stems from the Mind, and One’s Fate Changes with One’s Heart", I saw my competitive mentality, jealousy and the attachment of going against my husband. I understood that these attachments had prevented me from speaking benevolently to my husband about Falun Dafa. How can I save this sentient being if I am not benevolent?
Master said:
“And all of the human ideas, as well as the variety of sources from which those ideas stem, that are bound up in that human thinking will serve to interfere with the person. Whichever kind of life form your thinking aligns with, that life form will immediately have an effect on you.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference XI)
I understood that even if I make mistakes in cultivation, the old forces are not worthy of persecuting me. By being diligent in following my path, I am already validating the Fa wherever I am.
Master Cleansed My Body of Bad Influences
Recently in our Fa study group, we watched a documentary called "Agenda," which showed how pervasive communist ideology was in our society. I recently wondered if there were communist ideas in my mind.
I was shocked by the documentary. I understood why the attachment to fear was not part of my true self, which is benevolent and compassionate. The attachment to fear is part of communism's influence. It is used by the old forces to dominate people´s minds, to cause Dafa disciples to act against Dafa, and to make practitioners to walk the path that the old forces have arranged.
It also hurt me to see how the evil is everywhere, destroying sentient beings. I thought about how my children will behave in the future if I don't educate them correctly. I wanted to cry, and my body was shaking even though I wasn't cold. At the end of the documentary when some practitioners shared their understandings, I could see their aura of light, and I understood that Master had purified my body.
Changing My Cultivation Environment by Eliminating the Attachment to Sleepiness
I have four children, and the housework is endless. Before I gave birth to my last daughter, I set out several times to get up early and do the exercises, but I could never keep it up. I always felt very sleepy and tired all day long, and I couldn't set an alarm because my husband has trouble sleeping.
Some time later, I tried again, but my baby kept waking up and interrupting me. It was frustrating to me not being able to do the whole set of exercises, so I gave up. For the rest of the day, I could not find time to practice, much less study the Fa. When night came, I was very tired and sleepy, and I could barely send righteous thoughts. My attachment to complaining and frustration emerged very frequently.
One day, I read an article named "Experiencing Genuine Cultivation", where a practitioner discussed how he overcame fatigue and the attachment to sleep. I was struck by a phrase from his experience that said, "In time, this became the norm for me, which I try to live up to without excuses, no matter what time I went to bed the night before or in what situation I found myself." I understood then that I needed determination to be diligent in cultivation.
A few days later, I tried to get up early to send righteous thoughts at 5:00 a.m. The next day it was hard for me to get up early, and I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and did the exercises. I continued for a few days and understood that I had take it one step at a time. I said to myself, "If I can't wake up at 5:00am it's okay, I'll do it at 6:00 and little by little I'll wake up earlier.”
Master said,
“As to this principle, some may understand it all at once, while others may enlighten to it and understand it gradually. Does it matter how one enlightens? It is better if one can understand it all at once, but it is also fine if one gradually enlightens to it. Aren’t both cases enlightenment? Both are enlightenment, so neither is wrong.” (Zhuan Falun)
In a few days, I started to get up earlier. I decided to set an alarm and turn it off quickly, so that my husband wouldn't wake up. My baby stopped interrupting me so many times during the exercises, and she even helped me to wake up earlier. I knew that it was Master who was helping me.
I was determined to study one lecture of Zhuan Falun every day. The thought karma that made me believe that I needed to sleep in order to have energy was weakening me, and I overcame it with righteous thoughts. The sleepiness persisted throughout the day, until I realized that it was from the attachment to not wanting to feel physical discomfort. After I stopped paying it attention, the sleepiness decreased.
Now, I wake up to do the exercises, and at night I study the Fa. In a few days I have seen some very positive changes. The attachments to fear, human emotion, and fighting are rapidly weakening. When I study the Fa, my mind no longer wanders as before and I am focused on reading. Now I can put my heart into doings the housework, since I am no longer thinking about how I missed doing the exercises or studying the Fa. My faith in Master and the Fa is being strengthened along the way.
My husband has seen me studying Zhuan Falun and said nothing. My righteous thoughts are getting stronger, and I can look inside and find my attachments more easily. Little by little, my environment is being rectified. I finally understood that this is the path that Master has arranged for me. Strong determination is crucial to making diligent progress in cultivation.
Thank you, Master!Thank you all Dafa disciples!
(Presented at the 2017 Mexico Fa Conference)
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