(Minghui.org) The sudden epidemic made me tremble with fear. After January 26, the second day of Chinese New Year, I stopped going out. I even scolded my husband if he went out to purchase necessities. When he returned, I sanitized him with alcohol including his shoes. Was this the mentality of a Falun Dafa practitioner? Where did my faith in Master and the Fa go?

I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2015, but I hadn’t let go of the thought of making money. I didn’t put Dafa as my priority and I didn’t study the Fa for a long time. My behavior was due to poor Fa study, which caused my lack of righteous thoughts.

Master said,

“Should you have fear, it will seize upon you.” (“What’s to Fear?,” Hong Yin Volume II) 

Because I feared becoming ill, symptoms of the illness I had before I started practicing showed up again. I eventually calmed down, remembered how Master saved my life, and I started to study the Fa again.

When I sent forth righteous thoughts, however, I focused on eliminating my illness. When there wasn’t much effect, I started to question Master and Dafa. Even though I kept reminding myself to have faith in Master and Dafa I still had fear. I was also interfered with when I studied the Fa. Even though I read a paragraph several times, I still couldn’t absorb it with my heart.

I also had negative thoughts which prevented me from calmly reading the teachings or looking inward. I felt hopeless and anxious. I knew that my situation wasn’t right and was even dangerous, but I didn’t know how to get rid of it.

I suddenly thought of Master’s teaching,

“He comes with Truth that gives him free reignAnd travels the four seas with a free and easy spiritThe Fa’s principles spread throughout the worldHis Fa Boat sets sail, loaded full with sentient beings” (“Tathagata,” Hong Yin Volume II) 

As I repeatedly recited Master’s poem, my heart slowly calmed down. I shared my thoughts with my mother who also practices Falun Dafa. Mom told me that Master said, “... just by remaining unmoved you could handle all situations.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Canada Fa Conference”) She told me not to be afraid. The fear was not the real me, and I should send righteous thoughts to eliminate it. 

The virus doesn’t dare to get in a Falun Dafa practitioner’s body because it’s afraid of being killed.

Master said,

“That’s because no illness is allowed to invade you now; any pathogen would be killed by the positive energy you have.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”) 

Master also said,

“One righteous mind can subdue one hundred evils. If you do not pursue anything, no one will dare to bother you.” (Zhuan Falun) 

I was very distressed. Other practitioners were able to understand things based on the Fa, so why couldn’t I?

Master said,

“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II) 

In the past, I studied the Fa because I was grateful to Master for saving me. I couldn’t set aside my human notions.

Master said,

“If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity.” (“Cautionary Advice,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

Only by understanding the Fa rationally can we have strong righteous thoughts, and break through all interference.

I haven’t been a diligent practitioner, and the epidemic exposed my attachment to enjoying a good life. I’m grateful that Master didn’t give up on me. One night I had a dream in which Master told me to study the Fa more. He also showed me how majestic the high level righteous gods are, and that those levels are bright and beautiful. As I descended back to the human world, it was gray.

I must cultivate well, put Dafa as the priority, and live up to Master’s compassion.

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Category: Improving Oneself