(Minghui.org) My cultivation journey over the last 20 years or so has been rocky but amazing. There have been many memorable moments.
Life was good for me – I was in good health, had a good job, and had the good fortune to have found Dafa. The principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance expounded in the book Zhuan Falun resonated deeply with me, However, I only had a fairly shallow understanding of Falun Dafa. I think the prevalence of atheism at the time may have prohibited me from gaining deeper insights into the teachings.
It was not until the start of the madness, the persecution of Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa), that I really paused to think about what exactly was Falun Dafa. Was it a righteous pursuit? And why did the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) ban it? The more I studied the Dafa teachings, the clearer they became to me, until a critical change in my thinking took place. That was when I abandoned atheism and fully embraced Falun Dafa.
In the early days of the persecution, the biggest challenges I had to face came from my family. My father-in-law was a CCP official. Having been indoctrinated by the Party, he wanted me to stop practicing Falun Dafa. My mother-in-law was also against it, but chose to put pressure on my husband to stop me. My husband finally declared, “Do you want Dafa or your family?” I said in tears, “I want both.” He delivered the ultimatum, “No, you can’t, you can only choose one!”
Looking at my two-year-old son, for a few minutes I hesitated and thought about what Dafa meant to me, then I grabbed my Dafa books and left the house.
With nowhere to go, I spent my first night out hiding in an abandoned hut. Fortunately there was a plastic sheet I could lay on instead of the damp ground. In addition to the mosquitos, I was overwhelmed with grief, loneliness, resentment, and questions about my decision. It certainly was a sleepless night...
I passed the next six nights in pretty much the same way. When I went back to the hut on the seventh day, my mother followed me. She did not complain and merely said, “Just go home. Your son misses you. Your in-laws and husband have promised not to interfere with your belief as long as you are careful.” I burst into tears and was thankful that I had passed the test.
We moved into our new home in 2004, and I was eager to hang up a portrait of Master Li. My husband would not have it and kicked up a big fuss. He was even more enraged when I retorted with a few angry words. By then I knew I was wrong, because a Dafa practitioner should follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and not argue with anyone. I kept quiet while adjusting my mind and strengthening my resolve: I am going to put up Master’s portrait today and no one is allowed to stop me. Soon my husband opened the door and came in with all objections swept aside.
I enlightened that the stronger your righteous thoughts, the more Master will help you. One time, after I returned home from being illegally detained, my husband forbid me to have any contact with other practitioners. He said he would kick them out if they came. But I had made an arrangement with another practitioner to come to my house for Fa study after she dropped off her child at school the next morning. What was I to do? I thought through the matter and concluded that we Dafa practitioners must study and improve together and that we had to meet. I was very firm about that, while treating my husband calmly as usual. When my guest arrived the next day, my husband did not kick her out, just retreated to his room.
Through all the ups and downs over the years, my husband was the one that has changed the most in the family. He has also benefited the most. He now supports Dafa wholeheartedly. One time he and I had to go out urgently while a fellow practitioner was still working on something in our house. To my surprise, my husband said, “Let your friend stay here on her own. I don’t have a problem leaving my house to you people.”
Since then, fellow practitioners can work in my house while I am not there. My husband would not bat an eye if he came home and found any of my practitioner friends there. He would actually make excuses to leave the house so as not to disturb them.
One midday when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I heard the doorbell ring once and stop. I thought it was odd and went out to check after I’d finished. My husband was standing outside nonchalantly holding a bottle of soy sauce. He said he’d gone out to buy soy sauce but forgot his key. He pushed the bell but then realized I would be busy sending righteous thoughts at that time of the day, so he waited.
Another time, I was reported to the police for distributing truth-clarification materials to a house. When I came home from the police station, not only did my husband not complain about me, he actually said, “What’s wrong with these people? Falun Gong people do not do anything bad, they only want to give you some information. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but why report them to the police!”
Because he has shown kindness and supported Falun Dafa practitioners, my husband has benefited greatly.
He went for a check-up in 2007. The doctor was surprised to find my husband’s liver to be as healthy as a 20-year-old’s, something he had not seen in his decade-long practice. My husband was in fact in his 40s, not to mention his 20-year history of drinking.
There was ice on the road one winter, and my husband and his vehicle fell into a ditch. His vehicle was twisted out of shape, but he only suffered minor scratches on his forehead.
Another time, he tripped after having too much to drink. He had a cerebral hemorrhage and was in the hospital for a month. He was discharged before blood clots were removed from his brain. He went back to the hospital sometime later for a follow-up. The doctor was surprised he’d recovered so quickly and completely.
I believe it was Master who helped him through all those risky situations. I know Master has given me and my family tremendous blessings all these years. I regret I still have not reached the standard required of me and remain a burden to Master. All I can do now is to let go of all my human attachments, assimilate to the Fa, and make the best use of this precious time to cultivate myself and fulfill my vow.
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