(Minghui.org) I am in my 60s and take care of my parents-in-law who are in their 90s.
Two years ago, my in-laws were forced to vacate their home when the government appropriated it and scheduled it to be torn down. They moved in with us. Not long after that, my mother-in-law lost the ability to take care of herself, and I needed to carry her back and forth to the bathroom 10 times a day. She later had a stroke and became paralyzed. She couldn’t eat, drink, or talk, and one side of her body was immobile. Her doctor inserted a nasogastric tube through which we gave her water and nutrients.
There was no one else to take care of my husband's parents because he was adopted and is an only child.
I cleaned up after her, bathed her, and changed her position on the bed to prevent bedsores. I took care of her even when she was asleep.
When relatives visited, they said, “Everything is so clean in your house. No bad odors or anything. Not an easy task.” Other younger relatives say, “You are our role model. How great it is to have a faith.” Some of them gave me a thumbs up and some even praised me for taking care of my husband's parents. I told them not to praise me because these were things that I was supposed to do.
They knew that I practice Falun Dafa and had seen the changes in my health and behavior over the past 20 years. A relative said, “You have cultivated to such a high level. It’s just that you don’t see it in yourself. No daughters today are able to do what you’ve done for their parents. A while ago, I hired a nanny who quit after working for just a few days.” She said it was very hard to find a virtuous person like me.
My mother-in-law once said, “If it weren’t for my daughter-in-law, I would be dead.” My in-laws wanted my story to be published in the newspaper, but I refused. I asked, “Am I doing this for fame or self-interest?” My father-in-law said, “If asked what good things I have done, I would say that I must have done something good for you in a past life to have you as my daughter-in-law in this life.”
I replied, “You should thank Master Li. If I didn't cultivate Falun Dafa, I wouldn't be able do this.” He understands because many modern people only focus on self-interest and don't care about others.
Life Before Cultivation
My father-in-law values money and likes saving it but not spending it. My mother-in-law talked about how her health was suffering and what medicines people suggested she take. Her husband wasn't willing to buy them for her and she would complain about him to me. One time, he bought a single pear after she said she wanted to eat pears. She thought he was being stingy.
We moved in with his parents after my husband and I got married. Life was simple, and we ate simple meals. Sometimes when we came home from work, my mother-in-law heated up the leftovers from lunch plus some congee (rice soup) for us for dinner. She never cooked a fresh meal for dinner. Sometimes she would only make enough food for themselves and my husband. My husband and I would then split the serving.
When I became pregnant, my mother-in-law didn’t help look after me. When we made steamed buns, my in-laws would pick out the soft ones and leave the others for my husband and me. Once, I bought some groceries and they took everything because they liked the items I bought. However, they never bought anything for us, and in some ways it seems they hadn't liked my husband since he was a child.
My mother gave me money because she was afraid my in-laws wouldn’t treat us kindly. But I never spent the money on myself—I gave it to my husband and his parents.
I began to feel hatred toward my in-laws. Even though I was buying things and doing the chores for the family, I felt I was treated unfairly and was unhappy every day. I felt that I had done everything I was supposed to, and I didn’t respect them anymore.
After living with his parents for a while, we moved out to live on our own. When we went to my mother’s home, I had a pleasant time and was very happy. But when we went to my in-law’s place, I was depressed and felt hatred toward them. They would expect us to bring them things. I would dread going to their house, and I would lose sleep and energy beforehand.
Changes after I Took Up Dafa
In 1995, I began following the principles of Falun Dafa. After reading Zhuan Falun, I understood that people are in this world so that they can return to heaven. As a practitioner, one should live by the standards of Dafa, be altruistic, and let go of attachments to reach the standards of a cultivator.
My father-in-law was attached to money and stingy with it, so I told myself to let go of my attachment to money and take care of them as best I could. I brought a week’s worth of groceries when I visited them. I made meals and cleaned for them on Sundays. They didn’t have to buy groceries anymore, and I would buy things for them during holidays. One year, during the holidays, my father-in-law was so happy that he began to sing because he only spent 10 yuan during the Chinese New Year.
I usually buy most of the food and clothing for my in-laws. After the persecution of Falun Dafa began and my employer reduced my salary because I was a practitioner, I continued to treat my in-laws the same way. I would leave some additional money aside for them in case they needed medical care. They didn’t spend much money and my husband helped them with any laborious work that was required around the house.
My mother-in-law once said to me, “I don’t owe anyone or anything, only you.” My husband said, “You are doing great. Thank you, thank you.”
During the time I have spent with my in-laws, I have slowly cultivated away various attachments, such as hatred and contempt. Sometimes they would resurface. Master said,
“… matter and mind are one and the same.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
As my character improved, many bad elements in my body were shed. This is a phenomenon that only a true cultivator can understand.
One day, after bathing my mother-in-law, I told my husband that it was tiring to help her bathe. I started feeling exhausted for days on end and had never felt such weariness. I began looking within, as Master has told us to. I realized what I said to my husband about bathing his mother was untrue. Even though it’s not easy to help her bathe, it is not a tiring job. I realized that I wanted my husband to sympathize with me and give me his approval.
When I realized what my problem was, the weariness disappeared and I felt re-energized. I knew that Master saw that I had elevated my character and found the root of the issue; and so he removed the bad elements in another dimension. I know that Master is watching over me during my cultivation journey. Only by being more diligent in cultivation can I show gratitude to Master for taking care of me.
People live in this world hoping to have a good life, and they pursue their goals while hurting others. Through cultivation, Master has provided the best for us. True Dafa cultivators are most fortunate and will bring goodness to themselves, their family, and society. Master has taught Dafa during a time when human morality has degenerated to a terrible extent. Don’t miss the opportunity to see the goodness of Falun Dafa, and don’t believe the lies spread by the Chinese Communist Party.
I hope my experiences help people understand Dafa and enjoy a good future. Thank you, Master, for your benevolent salvation. Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.
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