(Minghui.org) I’m a young Falun Dafa practitioner from China who came to New York to attend graduate school in August this year. During my first two months of living in New York, I was not used to the free and open cultivation environment and I had to upgrade my xinxing. I would like to share what I have learned in terms of cultivation and clarifying the truth.
Closing the Gap Between Cultivation and Life
I lived in China for more than 20 years, and though I grew up cultivating with my mother, because of the persecution, I rarely mentioned my cultivation to any of my friends. I didn’t have much experience clarifying the truth, and I mainly told people about the Self Immolation Hoax and some miraculous things about Falun Dafa from a third-party perspective. My mother started cultivating before the persecution and has been harassed by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and had her freedom limited for more than two decades. Perhaps because I wanted to protect my mother and hadn’t really cultivated away my fear, I never really told people that I practiced Falun Dafa. In my daily life I held myself to the Fa’s standards to be a good person, but I never really made it to the point where I truly validated the Fa.
When I joined the group exercises in New York for the first time, I was thrilled. I bought Dafa books and a yellow T-shirt. I had studied the Fa in person with practitioners in China, but after coming overseas I found that most practitioners study the Fa online. I decided to do that too because it gave me more flexibility. But I was initially apprehensive and a little afraid about it because I share an apartment with a college student who does not practice, and I live in the living room. Every time my roommate walked passed me when I was reading at night, I either turned off my mic mid-sentence or lowered my voice because I was worried that she would think I was weird if she heard me reading words like “cultivation,” “Buddhas” and “demons.” I paid so much attention to the sound of keys and approaching footsteps that I could barely concentrate during Fa study. I knew this cultivation state was wrong, so I looked inwards and shared my concerns with fellow practitioners in my Fa study group.
After looking within, I found that behind this was my filthy attachment to saving face. And because of contamination from atheism in China, I didn’t treat cultivation practice seriously. Most young people today are so engrossed in their worldly desires and pursuits that they don’t understand cultivation practice or the concept of returning to one’s original, true self. I clearly understand that Falun Dafa practitioners have a sacred mission, so I felt pained that I wasn’t able to validate the Fa in an open and dignified manner.
After sharing these things in my small Fa study group, practitioners really helped me a lot. A fellow practitioner told me that she had a similar cultivation state in the past, where her daily life and her cultivation were disconnected, and it was partially because she was worried that she might hurt the reputation of Falun Dafa if she told people she was a practitioner and then her words and actions did not measure up. However, the disconnection between her everyday life and cultivation only ended up fostering her attachments and making it harder for her to measure herself by the criteria of Dafa in everyday life. She advised me to break through my mental obstacles and act in accordance with Dafa at every moment. My roommate may even learn the truth about Dafa through this all.
When I was younger, I had difficulty understanding how someone could be like the kind of person described in Zhuan Falun where it says:
“But as soon as they were back out in the real world they’d be a different person, they’d go back to their old ways, and fight and compete with ordinary people for profit and to make a name for themselves. Do you think their gong could grow?” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun )
I now understand that “going back to their old ways” refers to the notions and bad behavior learned in ordinary society. Cultivation is about being able to refrain from fighting back when being attacked during our daily lives, and acting in accordance with Dafa at every moment to put others first. Truly being undisturbed by personal interest is part of cultivation. And in the face of the degenerate ideology in today’s society, being able to hold fast to and firmly safeguard traditional beliefs is part of cultivation.
I am extremely grateful to venerable Master for his arrangements, because the day after I shared with my group about the issues I was facing, a fellow practitioner told me that a Fa study group of young practitioners had asked if I wanted to join them. The time was really convenient for me, so I joined their evening session. I told my roommate that I would be reading online that night and she happily replied that she would stay in her room so that she wouldn’t disturb me. When she came out to get something, I continued to read. The mental obstacle that had plagued me for so long seemed to naturally disappear.
Different Mentalities Bring Different Results
I started going to a group exercise site in Central Park, and after registering with the Tuidang Center in Flushing I went to distribute flyers at a truth-clarification site in Manhattan’s Chinatown, which is closer to where I live. At the site, you need to approach pedestrians who are rushing by to give them flyers that introduce Dafa and flyers about ending the CCP, and at first, I was really not used to doing this. Few people would take my flyers for hours. Looking at the vendors with their fake brand-name purses and watches nearby, I had very bad thoughts that this format may leave ordinary people with a bad impression of Dafa and might be a waste of time. This happened to be a busy time for me at the beginning of the semester, and because I had just come from China I had difficulty understanding what the professors were teaching. I had a lot of schoolwork to do, so I hesitated about going to the Chinatown site. So during the first few weeks of joining the truth-clarification site in Chinatown, I had a bit of apprehension and unwillingness.
But seeing fellow practitioners who have persisted in distributing flyers for 19 or 20 years, rain or shine, and have faced many cold shoulders every day but have never given up, the attachments in my heart faded. I shared with my mom, and she reminded me that clarifying the truth to save people is the most sacred thing, so how could it be compared to distributing ordinary people’s advertisements? She said Dafa practitioners are different from ordinary people, so we shouldn’t be disturbed by ordinary people’s behavior.
In the middle of all this, I learned that Fei Tian College in Middletown had started accepting international students and I really wanted to transfer to study there. But because there were still no graduate studies there for my major, a teacher advised me to finish my current studies and then think about going there. Doing things that way would probably be more effective. I felt restless while thinking about whether to transfer or not, so I looked inward and I saw that I had an attachment of wanting to escape from the environment of ordinary society. I decided to complete my current studies and focus on clarifying the truth with wisdom to the people around me.
After pausing my attendance at the site in Chinatown for two weeks, I returned with a change in my mentality. I handed out flyers with a smile. I greeted elderly people with “Good morning! Take a look at this flyer. Wishing you great health!” I greeted tourists, “Welcome to Chinatown! Learn some real Chinese culture. Have a great day!” Most people nodded at me and took a flyer. Some of them smiled after seeing the flyers. A group of young Asian women walked by chattering excitedly with each other, and I normally wouldn’t have tried to clarify the truth to young people, but I handed them some flyers. They started reading them with curiosity right away.
I really thank Master for his encouragement, because I handed out many flyers that day. I could feel the fear from living so long under the culture of communism and a level of my human shell gradually dissolving.
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