(Minghui.org) During the past 20 years of practicing Falun Dafa, I have always aimed to remove human attachments and would like to share my cultivation experience of what I recently enlightened to.
In late July, I was told that my granddaughter had papillary thyroid cancer, and she needed to be operated on immediately. I was stunned and thought: “She is still so young and just graduated from college. Will she have a good future?”
My granddaughter was raised by me. She is beautiful and well-behaved. When I first learned of her diagnosis, I was so heartbroken and anxious that I had trouble sleeping. All kinds of negative thoughts kept coming up; the more I thought about it, the more sad and attached I became. At this time, Master Li’s Fa came into my mind. Master said,
“You are unable to interfere with the lives of others, and neither can youcontrol others’ fates, including those of your wife, sons, daughters, parents, or brothers. Can you decide those things?” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I gradually calmed down and realized that I can’t be driven by emotions. I have Master to watch over me, and I should have no fear. I got up from bed and confessed to Master’s portrait that I was wrong, and I would let go of sentimentality and treat everything that happens around me with righteous thoughts. I also asked Master for blessings.
My granddaughter’s surgery was very successful. She has been repeating the auspicious phrase, “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Tolerance is good” and is recovering well.
But right after that tribulation, another one came when my husband fell off his bike and broke his leg in two places. Because his legs hurt, he was impatient and constantly scolded me. I’m also in my seventies. I was busy taking care of him all day in the hot weather and felt exhausted. I couldn’t focus when I studied the Fa or tried to send righteous thoughts. I also couldn’t do the exercises consistently.
Instead of lending a hand, my son and daughter-in-law only called or came and left quickly. I didn’t cultivate my speech and started to complain while on the phone with my son. I said angrily that he only wanted to gain from us financially, but offered no help when we were in need and hung up. I completely forgot that I’m a practitioner and only thought of my needs instead.
When the resentment arose, I became physically ill, dizzy, weak, and unable to stand. At that moment, my husband, who was sitting nearby, spoke up: “You claim that you are a practitioner, yet you can’t stand a little bit of suffering?” Hearing that, I became even angrier, thinking: “He is sitting there with the fan blowing on him, but shouting and cursing at me.” I was just about to get mad, but I held back. If he didn't create this environment for me, how could I improve my xinxing? Wasn’t this an opportunity to improve? I thanked him for giving me the opportunity to increase my gong (cultivation energy). He laughed. I then sat down and sent forth righteous thoughts.
I also realized this was the old forces using my family to interfere with my practice, and my ability to do the three things well. I sent out a powerful thought: “I will never allow the old forces to interfere with my assisting Master to rectify the Fa; If I have any omissions, I will rectify myself and not allow the old forces to interfere.
I looked inward carefully, and wondered why so many problems have befallen my family recently. I found many attachments: showing off, jealousy, the fighting mentality, fear of hardship, sentimentality, material interests, comfort, lust, good food, and not having a firm enough belief in Master and the Fa.
I also pursued benefits from Dafa, didn’t want to hear bad words, and slacked off in clarifying the truth. One by one, I want to eliminate those dirty obsessions that are blocking my progress of reaching the Fa’s standards. I knelt in front of Master’s portrait and promised Him that I will walk the path He arranged for me, cultivate diligently, and return to my true home.
As a result of improving my understanding of the Fa, my family environment has improved. My husband stopped cursing me, and my son and daughter-in-law brought us meals and helped clean up the house. I also have more time to study the Fa, do the exercises, and clarify the truth to others.
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Category: Improving Oneself
