(Minghui.org) A life saved by Falun Dafa is extremely fortunate. However, as a practitioner, we are not only saved, but go through a process of purification and elevation so we can return to our original and true self. We have an opportunity, given to us by Dafa, to reach a most magnificent realm. Thus, Dafa cultivation is about continuously eliminating bad substances, purify ourselves, so we reach Dafa’s standards at various levels. During the process, one has to endure hardship and overcome all kinds of trials and tribulations.
The tribulations I encountered during the past over 20 years covered mainly three areas. One was rather difficult and encompassed xinxing conflicts. When I had conflicts with my colleagues, family members, or fellow practitioners, I often only began to look inward when I failed a test. On the surface, I understood that as a practitioner I should follow the principles Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance at all times. However, when the substance hurting my heart emerged I could not maintain my xinxing. When I couldn’t get over the conflicts, I felt that cultivating my xinxing was too difficult. This was especially the case when my family members blamed me by saying, “Our wonderful family life is ruined because people keep coming to harass us, and it’s all because of you.”
I practice Dafa, and I try to be a good and a better person. My family members are witnesses and beneficiaries of this, but despite that, they still blamed me. I felt extremely wronged and couldn’t be quiet. I said, “You know that the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is persecuting good people. You didn’t go to reason things out with them; instead, you blamed your being impacted on me and my practicing Falun Dafa.”
Now when I remember, I understand that I didn’t clarify the facts well to them. I also attached too much importance to what an ordinary person said. I wasn’t clear on the Fa principles, and I used the standards for a practitioner to measure a family member who is an ordinary person. I knew that feeling wronged and upset boiled down to sentimentality. When I couldn’t let go of my sentimentality, I couldn’t snap out of humanness. When I became clear, the substance that suppressed me dissipated.
Dealing with Mental Pressure
A second area of difficulty was the mental pressure of being subjected to the persecution. In the early stage of my cultivation, facing the evil persecution, I didn’t know how to clarify the facts. When I went to Beijing to appeal to the government, at the police stations and detention centers, I only passively talked about how great Falun Dafa was and how I benefited from it. I approached it from the viewpoint of being persecuted. I didn’t treat it as a cultivation test. I often became scared at the mere mention of officers or police stations. When reading practitioners’ sharing articles, I tried to avoid the parts describing any persecution. From this, one could tell how terribly scared I was of the evil persecution.
From Fa-study, I learned what to do when being persecuted. However, after thinking about it, I still became scared. It wasn’t until five years ago, when I was arrested while handing out truth-clarification materials, that the fear subsided. That experience made me realize what it means to play the main role in Fa-rectification. I took every opportunity to clarify the facts to the police officers there. A few times, the officers listened to me to clarify the facts to them one group after another. The more I talked, the more my righteous thoughts came forth, and the more logical my thinking became. I could truly feel the great power of being strengthened by Master. At that time, my fear was eliminated a great deal. Then, I was released and returned home after a few hours.
Since then, people from those persecuting departments continued to come to my home to harass me from time to time. When confronted by them, I continued to clarify the facts to them. There were a couple of times when I didn’t clarify the facts; my fear arose instead. I was being led by the evil. That kind of feeling was just like being persecuted. Afterwards I felt deep regret. Since learning this lesson, I took the initiative to clarify the facts to them every time. I no longer let any opportunity slip by.
Dealing with Physical Tribulations
The third area of difficulty was the tribulation to my body. In the beginning of my cultivation, I didn’t have an in-depth understanding of the Fa. When I ran into these tribulations, I wasn’t clear about what it was. Yet I had a thought: I had Master looking after me, so I should be fine. For example, a month after I began to cultivate Dafa, I fell at work from the second story to the ground, landing first on my heels, and I couldn’t get up. When my colleagues wanted to take me to the hospital, the first thought I had was: I am fine. Even so, I felt a great deal of pain. It took quite some effort to push my bicycle back to my home. At night, I also had to endure a lot of pain when I did the five sets of exercises. The pain stopped right after I finished doing the exercises, despite the fact that my whole ankle was still black and bruised.
At that time I thought: practicing Dafa is truly amazing. My family also felt it was incredible. Now thinking back about myself as a new practitioner, having the situation turn around truly came down to my having righteous thoughts. If I had treated myself as an ordinary person, the outcome wouldn’t have been good.
During my over-20-year-long cultivation process, this was only a small xinxing test in the initial period. After that, I encountered constant tribulations. In the past few years, I spit out bloody lumps in large quantities. I also had diarrhea. My skin had itchy blisters. I had a fever, coughed, lacked strength in my four limbs, and had lower back pain. Sometimes these tribulations bothered me on and off. Sometimes they appeared suddenly, and sometimes on and off. As a result, I experienced these tribulations either continuously or intermittently for a long time. But, because of Master’s protection, none of the tribulations affected my doing the three things, my work, or carrying on with my day-to-day living.
For instance: When I had blisters all over, my exposed skin was fine, as nobody could see it. When I appeared to have a serious illness karma elimination, it always happened on a weekend. As soon as I went back to work, I was fine. When I lost my voice, I could still speak normally during meetings. One time I fell while riding my electric bike, and a big piece of skin under my knee was torn, yet there was no bleeding. There was only water coming out of it. No matter how terrible I felt, as soon as I began to think of doing the three things, I was in high spirits.
These extraordinary manifestations made me realize that they were karma elimination, as opposed to suffering from ordinary illnesses. Therefore, I had a strong faith that Master was protecting me. Of course, this was still a fairly shallow understanding. As I progressed in my Fa-study, I gradually came to realize that I should improve my xinxing by holding myself to the standard of a practitioner, as opposed to remaining at the level I was at when I first began to cultivate. At that time I only cared about healing and fitness. Dafa cultivation is so sacred and serious. If I always want to feel comfortable and overlook cultivating xinxing, how could Master protect me? How can I think only about living comfortably? This goes against the principles of the Fa.
Something else that complicated my understanding of these tribulations, or my looking inward was that I felt I couldn’t see the truth. It could be interference by the old forces, something related to a debt I owed, something I didn’t do well, or something else. The reason could be very complicated. Moreover, during these years, when a tribulation first appeared, I tried to look inward, but I did it conditionally for the sake of eliminating the tribulation. Thus, I made up my mind to handle it differently. Instead of looking only at what I did wrong that triggered a tribulation, I would always hold myself to a practitioner’s standard by cultivating my every thought in my day-to-day life.
It was probably because I always got stuck at a given issue, and that I formed a habit of looking for my attachments for the sake of solving problems. After I realized this, I wasn’t attached to finding my attachments. My karma was then eliminated without my noticing it. When I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t worry about it at all. Sometimes I forgot all about it. For example, one of my arms hurt for a long time, and I had trouble lifting it. Then this issue just disappeared. Now, I can’t even remember which arm it was.
Happiness for a regular person comes down to one’s pursuing fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. For a practitioner, enduring hardship is a good thing. When we run into a tribulation, if we can treat it according to the righteous principles of the Fa in our cultivation and see it as a good thing, then there is no longer a tribulation, but rather something to help us improve.
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Category: Improving Oneself
