(Minghui.org) I am a young Dafa practitioner who lives in China. I graduated from a prestigious university, have a Master’s degree, and work in a well-known government enterprise. I would like to share my experiences over the past three years, during which time Falun Dafa helped me eliminate my attachment to resentment and worrying over difficult times.
Attachment to Resentment Grew as I Did Not Cultivate Solidly
After graduation, I worked at the headquarters of a central government enterprise. I worked diligently and completed my projects satisfactorily. I was highly regarded and valued by the leaders and colleagues at the headquarters.
Three years ago I transferred to a branch factory for personal reasons. In these government enterprises, many of the department leaders lack business knowledge and management experience because they got their positions through connections. This was especially the case for those who were transferred into the position from a Party branch. They fabricated results, cheated, were selfish, and had their subordinates take all the blame. They formed cliques, promoted flatterers, and suppressed the down-to-earth workers. The department I transferred to had such a Party branch leader.
After my transfer, because I didn’t agree with their way of doing things, and the fact that my attachment to combativeness had not yet been cultivated away, I often had disputes with my colleagues and leaders, so I was excluded. My salary and any promotions were greatly impacted. I felt that they did not deserve to be managers, and I hated them for affecting my interests. The twice-a-year performance evaluations became major hurdles for me. I often reminded myself to maintain my xinxing, but my resentment immediately arose when I saw the evaluation results.
I felt at ease later, after I remembered that I am a practitioner and thought of Master’s Fa:
“We therefore believe in following the course of nature. Sometimes, you think that something should be yours, and others also tell you that it is yours. Actually, it is not. You may believe that it is yours, but in the end it is not yours. Through this process, it can be seen whether you can give it up or not. If you cannot let it go, it is an attachment. This method must be used to get rid of your attachment to self-interest. This is the issue.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Some colleagues in my area who did not practice Falun Dafa became depressed and went to see a psychiatrist because they couldn’t stand this kind of work environment. Some looked sad all day long. I benefited from studying the Fa every day. I knew things happened for a reason, and I could maintain my optimism. My colleagues often asked me, “Why do you look so happy every day?” They didn’t know it was Falun Dafa that made me happy.
However, because I failed to pay enough attention to getting rid of resentment and could not take the initiative to cultivate myself, my resentment grew as time went by.
The Environment Changed When I Focused on Cultivation
I gradually realized that I had been in this turmoil for too long, and I began to pay attention to cultivating away my resentment. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it, and looked inward more quickly when problems occurred. What followed was a dramatic change in the work environment.
Many colleagues began to quit because they could not stand the situation. At its worst, only two people were left in my team, and the entire department almost collapsed. Seeing colleagues leave one by one, I also thought of resigning.
However, I thought that as a cultivator I should think about others’ needs first. I would not meet the requirement for a practitioner if I left the department when it was collapsing. I also thought that this depressing environment was a good opportunity to refine myself. So I stayed. I advised my colleagues who had left, not to resent their former leaders, and that these former leaders were pitiful because they caused huge karma for themselves without realizing it.
With my mindset changed, I kept the operation of the team going at its most difficult time and used my expertise to train new people. The manager recognized my professional ability and contribution, and promoted me and increased my salary.
Eliminating the Attachments to Fame and Interests
Although I began to pay attention to eliminating the attachment to resentment, I failed to touch the root of it – attachments to fame and self-interest. A test came soon after.
I took on the core work and trained new people. Thus, I expected high performance ratings and bonuses. The department had done so at first, but then the director gave the bonuses and merit to others because of his past bias against me. I felt very distressed and resentful. I was unable to maintain my xinxing, and complained to former colleagues about my plight and about the director.
After calming down, I thought, “Didn’t I develop an attachment to resentment because I am upset about not getting what I want?” I thought more about why I blamed and hated them so much. I realized that it was due to attachments to fame and interest. My being upset with their taking away my bonus was an attachment to self-interest, and my feeling upset about their shifting the blame to me was an attachment to fame. The resentment was based on fame and interests. I knew if I cultivated away the attachments to fame and interests, my resentment would naturally vanish.
I switched to a new position with much better prospects, thanks to a former manager, and I no longer cared much about the results. I now have enlightened that Master has given us the best, and all we need to do is cultivate ourselves well.
Retaining A Healthy Outlook
In the past three years at work, my colleagues either quit or sought psychological help due to their depression. Those who remained were mostly dragged down by the environment and had distorted moral values. I retained a healthy outlook because I cultivate Dafa. Thank you, Master and Dafa.
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