(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from China who now lives overseas. I would like to share about the lessons I have learned after my addiction to watching online videos caused troubles for my cultivation.
When I was still in China in 2018, I spoke to a woman who was taking the accounting professional certificate exam with me. She told me that she was working on immigrating and said that I could join her if I was interested. I thought that was a good idea because I could validate the Fa abroad if my application was successful. A year later, the agent told me that the immigration application for my whole family had been approved.
In my new country, I quickly contacted the local Dafa association and joined the local cultivation activities. I got my first job in a practitioner’s restaurant after one employee had to return to China. I was a cashier and helped in the kitchen.
When the pandemic hit, the restaurant had to close and I was unemployed. My family and I moved to another city. I was still unemployed at that time but I was accepted at a local college, and the government converted my unemployment benefits into tuition subsidies. I became a full-time student. I had to face all kinds of challenges and overcome the language barrier after starting school again. Fortunately, I had learned English when I was in China and soon picked it up.
My wife gave birth to our second son in 2022. I was very busy as I now had to go to school but also help my wife and take care of our baby. My wife’s temper was bad because she’d had a caesarean delivery and felt unwell. This led to some conflicts. As a cultivator, I knew I should look within and be tolerant but I didn’t do enough, and our conflicts worsened.
I didn’t think about elevating myself based on the Fa—I thought about relaxing because I was so tired. I sometimes watched videos on YouTube since I didn’t have a chance to see them due to the censorship in China. I spent more and more time on YouTube and started watching political analysis programs, variety shows, movies, and TV series.
Because I am the only practitioner in my city, I study the Fa online every day with practitioners in other cities. As I gradually became lax in my cultivation, I realized I was being interfered with more when I was studying the Fa online. It was hard for me to concentrate. My wife would even tell me to do things when I was studying the Fa.
My mother came from China in March 2023 to visit us and help take care of our children. While I now had more free time, instead of studying the Fa or doing the exercises, I watched videos. I even felt that I was being controlled by something as I would unconsciously open the video app when I sat in front of the computer or picked up my phone. I sometimes watched videos until midnight.
First Sickness Tribulation
I had a very clear dream one night. I dreamed of a huge lake with many lotus flowers floating on the water. There was a big house with a big washing machine that never stopped. Suddenly, a swarm of insects flew over, went into the lake, and disappeared. When I woke up the next day, my liver and my eyes started to hurt.
I had already started an internship in March 2023 when my mother came. I had a terrible headaches and my eyes were very dry. I couldn’t sleep because my liver hurt so much. I enlightened that bad substances had gone into my body from watching online videos for such a long time. My addiction had attracted those insects. I had attracted demons due to my attachment.
I was full of regret after enlightening to this. As a cultivator, how could I be addicted to watching videos?! How could I waste the time that Master gave us and instead spend it relaxing and seeking to be entertained? Other practitioners were busy saving people while I was wasting time enjoying myself. I apologized to Master and asked him to help me. My liver no longer hurt after a few days.
Second Tribulation
I was about to graduate in September, and saw an open position with a small accounting firm. The boss didn’t mind that I was a non-native English speaker and was willing to hire me. I was very happy to be employed as a professional. I worked hard every day and followed Dafa principles at all times. I spoke to my boss if I ran into any problems. My boss appreciated me and was willing to spend time training me.
The physical discomfort then returned. I had constipation, tinnitus, back pain, insomnia, and nausea. My liver started to hurt after I ate a few fried shrimp for lunch, and I started burping. I didn’t know why this was happening as I thought that I was quite diligent. I knew that my job required a lot of work, but I studied the Fa and did the exercises after work, and used my break time to do one or two exercises.
I asked Master to help me and increase my righteous thoughts when I was in extreme pain during those few days. When I sent righteous thoughts, I saw an animal that looked like a huge rat disappearing before seeing the Chinese Communist Party army marching. It was a battle between good and evil in another dimension. My liver was fine the next day. Master enlightened me that the main reason for this was because I had many human attachments.
Afterwards, I looked within in-depth and found a few problems:
First, I was not treating cultivation seriously. After I left China, the environment was more relaxed. In addition to getting used to the new environment and the pressure to cope with surviving and finding a new job, I gradually became lax in my cultivation and my human attachments increased. Master requires us to “always … improving xinxing...” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun) Cultivation is like sailing against the current; if we do not improve, we will move backwards.
Second, I did not believe in Master and the Fa wholeheartedly. As a Dafa practitioner, since I had the chance to leave China, Master would have already arranged my future path. However, I kept wanting to use human ways to work hard and reach my goals and achieve success. Of course, one should work hard normally but going beyond that is not acceptable. A cultivator should place primary importance on cultivation and validating the Fa.
Third, I did not pay attention when I studied the Fa and I did not study enough. Although I put effort into copying the Fa, I didn’t concentrate when I did so, and all kinds of human attachments ran through my head. The process of studying the Fa is a process of assimilating to the Fa and removing attachments. Yet, I was going against it and developing attachments. I only thought about completing a task and was rushing ahead. I often could not remember what I had just copied. I did not have the sacred feeling of assimilating to the Fa.
Fourth, my reasons for doing the exercises was not pure. Master said, “Performing the exercises is a supplementary means to reaching Consummation.” (Teachings at the Conference in Singapore) I did the exercises more in order to relieve the fatigue of the day and recover after a busy day.
Fifth, I had the idea that I was “insured” since I’d become a cultivator. My health had improved since I started practicing, and I hadn’t taken a single pill for many years. I could also use my righteous thoughts to overcome any occasional sickness tribulations. Looking within in-depth, I realized that I was using the healthy body that I obtained from cultivation to seek fame and gain. First-generation immigrants who come overseas often have trouble surviving. When I was at work, I would sometimes think, “I’m not afraid of hard work, as I have a healthy body. I might get a good rating from my boss and he might raise my salary. Since I have a healthy body, my brain is clearer, and I could take a professional certificate exam, which might qualify me for an even higher salary.” This was not using a healthy body to validate the Fa. Instead, I was seeking fame and gain.
I wrote this to give myself a warning. I also hope that other practitioners who are in similar situations can learn from my lessons by seizing the remaining time and be diligent in cultivation and saving people.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Cultivation Insights
