(Minghui.org) I shared with a practitioner that I could sit in full lotus position for 40 minutes. I felt good and satisfied about it, but she responded bluntly, “Why can’t you sit for an hour? Can’t you hold on a little longer?” I was stunned and unconvinced, but I didn’t refute what she said and thought to myself that I had progressed from a few minutes to 40 minutes, so I was diligent.
I thought about it again after I studied the Fa that night. Why couldn’t I sit any longer? Wasn’t I afraid of suffering and was indulging myself? I was not being diligent. I decided to sit for one hour from then on.
My legs felt painful and numb when I reached 40 minutes. I watched the clock ticking and held on until I failed at 45 minutes. The second night I failed again after 40 minutes.
On the third day, I felt regret in my heart for being unable to live up to my expectations. I thought that I must not take my legs down again before one hour. Let’s see what would happen. Were my legs going to break? At 40 minutes, my legs started to hurt again. This time I stopped looking at my watch, but counted silently in my heart, not thinking about the leg pain, and kept gritting my teeth and persevering.
My legs became so painful that I shivered. I didn’t stop and kept counting. Time moved forward second by second. I don’t know how long it took. I felt that my legs were no longer my own, and I was sweating from the pain. I persisted and endured, and finally the meditation music ended. I slowly took down my legs, and at that moment I felt an unprecedented ease and joy. I have been able to meditate in full lotus position for one hour since then.
I sincerely thank the fellow practitioner who pointed this out to me. The proper state for fellow practitioners is that we should remind and urge each other to be diligent, rather than hide and keep things to ourselves.
Through this incident, I found a lot of hidden attachments in me: an unwillingness to be criticized by others, a fear of suffering, sitting back and enjoying things that were accomplished by others, and being opportunistic and taking shortcuts.
Cultivation is serious, and only through actual practice can we get rid of all human attachments.
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Category: Improving Oneself
