(Minghui.org) When I first met my daughter-in-law Li, she was polite and respectful. I liked her and happily accepted her into the family. However, after the wedding date was set, Li’s attitude suddenly changed. She began demanding a substantial dowry and took full control of setting up their new home without consulting us, despite the fact that we paid for everything. I endured this behavior, hoping Li would become more considerate after they settled down.
In the first few days after the wedding, I invited my son and his new bride over for dinner daily. However, during these visits, Li frequently complained about my son and insisted on dominating decisions in their household. Her remarks were unpleasant and difficult to hear.
Later, when she became pregnant, Li quit her job. I found myself going to her house every day to cook, wash clothes, and take care of her. Just before the Chinese New Year, I became overwhelmed with chores and missed two days of visiting. This caused Li to harbor grudges against me. When I later went to the hospital to care for her before she gave birth, she greeted me with a cold attitude. I reminded myself to stay composed and tolerate her behavior.
After the baby was born, I moved into my son’s home to help them care for the child. My daughter-in-law’s mother also came to assist, but she constantly directed me on what to do and often spoke sarcastically. I struggled with resentment. One day, after being instructed to buy lunch ingredients, I followed her directions but felt deeply irritated and conflicted. Deciding I needed a break, I visited a sick relative the next day to avoid the tension at my son’s home.
While visiting my relative, I witnessed her daughter scolding her harshly and even throwing things on the ground. This shocked me, and I began to wonder why the younger generations often behaved this way. When I returned to my son’s home, my daughter-in-law placed half-rotten fruit in front of me at lunch. I forced myself to eat it but I decided that I didn’t want to stay with them any longer. The next day, I left with the excuse of needing to help out with my niece’s upcoming wedding, and I went to stay at my sister’s home. There, I saw my niece reprimand my sister as if she was a child.
Why did I keep encountering such situations? These incidents occurred during the busy fall harvest season, leaving me little time to reflect or truly cultivate myself. I realized I must have a significant loophole and that it was time to look inward.
I initially considered that conflicts between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law are common, but Master was showing me examples of daughters and mothers quarreling, to help me think deeper. Unfortunately, I had failed to enlighten at the time.
Through studying the Fa, I gained a clearer understanding: Because I owed my daughter-in-law in previous lives, she demanded a substantial dowry; Because of my attachment and sentimentality toward my son, she clashed with him and spoke unkindly about him.
I also identified many attachments within myself: lack of tolerance, attachment to personal gain, zealotry, fear, jealousy, resentment, competitiveness, and impatience. These attachments were not part of my true self but obstacles meant to destroy me. My true self seeks to assimilate to Dafa’s qualities of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I needed to disintegrate these attachments entirely and develop empathy and compassion for ordinary people.
I went to my son’s house to bring a birthday gift to my grandson. To my surprise, Li cooked for me and served me, and her mother gave me a gift as well. They seemed like entirely different people. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, my daughter-in-law visited me with many gifts and showed genuine concern for my well-being. Harmony within my family had been restored!
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Category: Improving Oneself
