(Minghui.org) All Dafa disciples want to be diligent and improve in their cultivation. However, this becomes difficult if we don’t recognize our attachments.
Several years ago, on an autumn evening, before I was about to send righteous thoughts, I suddenly heard Master’s voice, clear, loud, compassionate, and solemn:
“Many people attempt to increase their gong and only pay attention to how to practice without caring for how to do cultivation. Actually, gong is completely acquired through xinxing cultivation.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I was stunned. Before this, I thought I was doing alright in my cultivation and doing the three things well. After Master’s reminder, my complacency disappeared, and I experienced a profound xinxing improvement.
A Wake-Up Call
I felt thrilled and blessed upon hearing Master’s voice. However, I also felt pessimistic, guilty, and uneasy.
I have practiced Falun Dafa for more than twenty years and experienced many trials and tribulations along the way. Yet, I have not truly cultivated myself, and remain quite self-centered. This mainly manifests in my family environment. My wife has a wide range of hobbies and likes to keep pets, including cats, dogs, fish, birds, and turtles, as well as a variety of plants and bonsais. She enjoys the process and often asks me to care for the animals and plants for her. I find the work to be tedious and time-consuming. If I didn’t want to help, she would nag on and on.
To stop her nagging, I did what she requested, but gradually, I developed resentment towards her. I felt she severely affected my cultivation and prevented me from doing the right things. I tried to reason with her, but that only caused more arguments and conflicts. Many times, only when she got upset and began to cry did I realize that I am a cultivator and give in.
Superficial Endurance Does Not Last
The conflict I described was superficial. What actually bothered me was the feeling that my wife was selfish, and her way of thinking was degenerate and contained the deviated Party culture and factors. After I realized this, I understood that by not balancing the relationship between Dafa cultivation and ordinary people well, I encountered constant conflicts with her.
There are no shortcuts in cultivation. After Master’s reminder, I increased the time I spent studying and memorizing the Fa, and studied it attentively. I carefully looked within and discovered many attachments, including the pursuit of fame and fortune, rejecting criticism, complaining, jealousy, looking down on others, muddling through things, and arguing.
Whenever my wife did things I didn’t like, I didn’t argue with her. Maybe Master removed those substances behind the attachment for me because I found I was no longer worked up by her behavior.
Although I made the first step in enduring when conflicts arose, it didn’t mean that the substance of “self” was gone. I still had a hard time suppressing the arguing voice in my mind; my complaints, dissatisfaction, and competitiveness were evident in my words or body language, even though, on the surface, I was responding to her calmly. Only when I messed things up again did I realize that I am a practitioner and shouldn’t act that way. But I couldn’t control myself. This scenario repeated itself many times for more than two years.
When I was doing the exercises one night, my back hurt so badly that I almost couldn’t finish. I asked myself, “Isn’t it wrong to argue with my wife?” With just one thought, my back pain instantly disappeared! I was delighted to find the root problem, but in the meantime, I was also frustrated: Why was it so hard to maintain my xinxing?
Six months later, the back pain recurred. Again, I looked within, but the pain didn’t go away. However, no matter how hard I looked within, I couldn’t find the attachment and I felt stuck.
Truly Eliminating the Attachment from Within
When chatting with a fellow practitioner this year, I said, “When my wife was nagging, I felt she was throwing a black substance on me, and I didn’t feel good.”
“That’s because you have a similar substance in your space field,” the practitioner reminded me. But I didn’t take his words to heart.
Ten days later, my wife suddenly lost her temper with me for no reason.
I raised my voice saying, “Why can’t you stop for once?”
I immediately realized I was wrong. I must have the attachment of complaining, otherwise, she wouldn’t complain about me. That was something for me to cultivate away. With that thought, her attitude changed right away. The change was so drastic that I was amazed.
I have been studying the Fa for many years. Why didn’t I realize that resentment was a major attachment I had? I like to think that I am introverted and gentle, and I hardly ever complain. But as a cultivator, I should always use the Fa to measure my words and actions.
After I realized my attachment, Master eliminated many bad substances from me. I then felt comfortable, light, and relaxed. Now, whenever I realize I’m reacting to my wife’s complaints, I immediately notice and stop myself. After a while, my heart becomes peaceful, and her words no longer affect me. I feel great, and I finally know how to cultivate.
Under Master’s compassionate care, I gained some insight and understanding about cultivation. Cultivation is elevating one’s xinxing, assimilating to Dafa, and transforming one’s mind and body.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation! I will diligently catch up.
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Category: Improving Oneself
