(Minghui.org) I began to cultivate in Falun Dafa while in middle school. Over the past thirty years of cultivation, I have encountered many trials to remove attachments. Jealousy is an especially difficult attachment to eliminate. It manifests repeatedly in various forms.
Indignation Equates Jealousy
After graduating from college, I joined a startup company and was promoted to department manager a year and a half later. While my career was progressing smoothly, a young college graduate from a prestigious university, Daisy (pseudo name), joined the company. She was assigned to another department. Since we were the same age and lived in the same dorm, we often hung out together after work. People thought we were good friends.
Daisy was a commendable person with many good qualities that an ordinary person would not have, which made me willing to be close to her. Within a year, Daisy outperformed the rest of us in the company and was promoted to assistant general manager, a position higher than mine.
Once, Daisy disagreed with a colleague, and I made some negative comments about her behind her back, which made things more difficult for her. After similar incidents happened a few more times, Daisy became annoyed by my behavior. We had a fight, and it finally dawned on me that I was jealous of Daisy. This jealousy caused me to lose my rationale and filled me up with constant resentment because she was promoted to be the assistant manager instead of me. Realizing that I was wrong, I began to intentionally correct my behavior and stopped saying negative things about her. After a while, the indignation in my heart gradually subsided.
The Feeling of Unfairness Is Jealousy
I later switched to a large company. Although I changed departments several times, Cathy (pseudo name) was always my direct senior supervisor. Over the course of a dozen years, I was promoted a couple of times, and Cathy would always find ways to demote me. I assumed that due to her limited ability, she targeted me because she was jealous.
Cathy tried several times to have me help her target a coworker, and my situation became even more difficult after I refused her. This made me more convinced that Cathy was morally unworthy of her position. Over time, I lost interest in seeking a promotion, while Cathy’s position continued to rise. Although I seemed to be fine with that, deep down, I was filled with resentment towards her.
During the pandemic, Cathy was infected with the virus several times and later developed a persistent cough. At first, I found myself somewhat gloating over her misfortune, but later, I was enlightened that she came to my life to be saved. Because of my resentment, I intentionally distanced myself from her. If her life could not be saved because of me, wouldn’t it be regrettable? This prompted me to look inward.
Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa told us,
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself…” (“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I never thought that I was jealous of Cathy, I just held on to the idea that “Cathy is wrong, and I am right,” and dwelt in self-pity for over ten years without realizing it. This kept me from making any progress for all those years.
I now understand that I had interpreted Cathy’s actions as her jealousy of my strong abilities. As a matter of fact, her behavior was a mirror reflecting the jealousy within me. I could see jealousy in others because I had the exact thing in me.
Throughout this process, I continually cleared away the elements formed by years of jealousy. However, they often resurfaced, and when they did, Cathy would do things that made me feel disturbed. After persistently denying all negative thoughts, I was finally able to see the goodness in her—she was kind and understanding. Only after I acknowledged her virtues, did the resentment in my heart finally dissipate, and my work environment gradually improved. I haven’t heard her coughing since then.
This entire process taught me a profound lesson: jealousy is frightening, and we must be vigilant against it at all times.
Envying Others Is No Different Than Jealousy
For more than twenty years I often smelled a particular scent a fellow practitioner Young gave out. It seemed nobody else could smell it. This scent often gave me a headache when we were in the same room or vehicle.
Over the years, Young had been arrested many times, and incarcerated in labor camps, brainwashing centers, and detention centers, making her cultivation journey extremely difficult. Last year, she was detained for a month and then released on bail pending trial, after which she lost her job. She had a hard time finding a job since then.
I have always had a decent job even during the years when the persecution was at its peak. Young, on the other hand, had worked at a smaller company with a lower income, and had not been successful in finding a more prestigious job. Gradually, I noticed that whenever the topics about work, housing, cars, and purchases came up, she would make hurtful remarks and sometimes even avoided contact with me for a while.
One time, she shared with me that she was trying to identify what attachments had led to her current situation. When we discussed jealousy, she said promptly that she didn’t have any. I had sensed some issues in her but had hesitated to bring them up out of courtesy. However, given her current circumstances, I felt it was irresponsible of me not to mention them, so I asked, “Are you jealous of me?” She responded: “Sometimes, I do feel a bit envious of you. Is envy a type of jealousy?”
The words, “envy, jealousy, and hatred” are often bundled up together in modern China indicating that envy can lead to jealousy which eventually breeds hatred. Thus envy contains elements of jealousy within it.
After our conversation, her resentment towards me noticeably faded, and interestingly, I do not smell that particular scent on her anymore. Perhaps that was the scent of jealousy. The duration I smelled the scent on her overlapped with the time I struggled with Cathy.
Not Rejoicing in Others' Happiness Is Also Jealousy
Through work, I have been in touch with a professor from a business school. I often attended his online classes and resonated with some of his views on certain topics, so I paid close attention to his work. Last year, he happened to be exploring a particular topic that I was also interested in. When attending his course again recently, I discovered that he had made a breakthrough in that area, and achieved significant results. I immediately felt overwhelmed with pressure as I had made little progress. In the days that followed, I felt disappointed and even lost confidence in myself.
As negative emotions and thoughts arose, I realized something was wrong—when someone else achieved a breakthrough, I should have been happy for him. I was jealous of him because he made some progress in the area but I did not.
In Zhuan Falun, the main teaching of Falun Dafa, when Master talked about jealousy, He gave us an example that after a child scoring 100 on a test, his Chinese neighbors reacted to it negatively while neighbors in other societies would have congratulated and encouraged the child instead. Having lived in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture environment for decades, I didn’t realize until now how distorted my thoughts had become!
The Source of Jealousy
For cultivators living in ordinary society, the process of continually elevating our moral character is also a process of continually breaking free from various forms of demonic control in the Three Realms.
Master told us,
“If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
Jiang Zemin, the former CCP head, committed the eternal crime of persecuting Falun Dafa disciples out of jealousy. The old forces persecute Falun Dafa disciples under the pretext of helping us meet the standards. This is also out of jealousy!
Jealousy manifests in various deceptive forms that affect practitioners. It is subtle and pervasive, presenting different challenges at each stage of our cultivation. Overcoming jealousy is essential for developing compassion. Only when we genuinely feel joy for others can we perceive the power of compassion. It’s crucial to be wary of jealousy, especially in the final stages of our journey.
This sharing is based on my limited personal understanding. Please point out anything that is not in accordance of the Fa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
