(Minghui.org) Through reading other practitioners’ sharing articles, I also would like to share my own experience of eliminating sickness karma, which happened seven or eight years ago. This experience made me realize the seriousness of cultivation and the importance of every thought and intention in cultivation.
My home was a group Fa study site. One afternoon, I had to miss group Fa study because I had to work. After dinner, new practitioner, Ying, came to my home and shared what happened during group Fa study that afternoon when I was not present. Because she didn't have any formal education, she would often add, omit, or misread words, and she couldn’t read complete sentences. Someone who hadn’t read Zhuan Falun would not be able to understand what Ying was reading, and other practitioners had the same feeling.
In our Fa study group, each person would read two paragraphs in turn. However, when it was Ying’s turn, she would just keep reading non-stop and she didn’t want to let the next practitioner take a turn. Sometimes I would remind her, but she would often say: “I really want to read.”
But this time when I was not around, practitioner Mei told Ying: “Read more at home to become proficient before reading here, otherwise you might misread the Fa, and others won’t understand it.” Perhaps Mei seemed inrritated and lacked compassion when talking, which upset Ying. She said a few negative things about Mei, and my non-practitioner husband was present and heard her words.
I also didn’t manage to reflect on myself when I heard what had happened; I just felt that Ying was being unreasonable and that it was inappropriate for ordinary people like my husband to witness conflicts among cultivators. Wouldn’t this cause my husband to further disagree with Dafa?
I didn’t show tolerance toward Ying. Instead of kindly discussing the Fa with her, I spoke rigidly, saying to her: “Cultivators should think of others, look within, and not look outward. You should find where you haven’t done well.” I was using the Fa to judge Ying and approached the problem from the perspective of arbitrating between the two practitioners. I didn’t use the Fa to examine and cultivate myself. I also spoke for Mei, taking her side.
My husband also joined in. Then the conversation shifted to discussing Ying’s non-practitioner husband. With harbored resentment toward my own husband, while speaking with Ying, I intended to make my husband be aware of my dissatisfaction toward him. In short, my human attachments were fully exposed. I should have looked within and improved my xinxing, but instead, I ended up venting my discontent, acting just like an ordinary person. Reflecting on it now, I feel deeply ashamed and disappointed in myself.
The next morning, my mouth couldn’t open. Even yawning had to be done with my mouth closed, and I couldn’t talk. I felt a bit panicked. During mealtime, I didn’t want my husband to see, but I couldn’t open my mouth to eat. That’s when I realized that it was because the previous night my words were so inconsistent with the Fa. I had imposed Dafa’s requirements on others, had a serious attachment of competitiveness, and harbored resentment. I had failed to practice restraint in my speech and had not been tolerant towards new practitioner Ying.
I was afraid that if my husband discovered my condition, he would make me go to the hospital. So, after my husband went to work, I made some noodles and swallowed them directly without chewing, which was very difficult. I did this for three days. During each mealtime, eating felt like a punishment, and it was extremely painful. I forced myself to eat only half a bowl of food each meal, and my body quickly became emaciated. I felt a bit panicked, and my righteous thoughts were considerably weakened.
I thought to myself: “I need to study the Fa with fellow practitioners to help me strengthen my righteous thoughts.” On the fourth day, after communicating with my husband, I rode an electric bike back to my parents’ home. My mother was a practitioner, and at my parents’ home, I could calm down to study the Fa, look for my own attachments, and not be disturbed by other people. My mother made me a big bowl of steamed egg custard, and I managed to eat the whole bowl by swallowing it directly.
My mother and I studied Zhuan Falun together and sent forth righteous thoughts on the hour. My mother asked me to read the Fa, but my tongue and throat were in a lot of pain. Soon, the pain caused me to sweat so much that my clothes were soaked. Every moment was torment! As it was getting dark, during the time of sending forth righteous thoughts, I suddenly felt a cool sensation moving from my upper body to the lower part of the left side of my body, and I could clearly feel that my body had improved significantly. I realized that Master had removed substantial karma from me. However, my mouth still couldn’t open, so I continued to study the Fa.
In the evening, my mother called a few practitioners to study the Fa together. After one practitioner inquired about my situation, she firmly said to me: “Don’t acknowledge it, deny it.” My heart was greatly encouraged, and I nodded firmly. At that moment, another practitioner arrived in the yard, and before I could greet her, I felt a “cracking” sensation in my jaw. It wasn’t painful; it actually felt quite comfortable. And within a few seconds, my mouth opened, and the sickness karma that had tormented me for days disappeared.
I am infinitely grateful to Master, and thankful for Master’s compassion.
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Category: Improving Oneself
