(Minghui.org) My parents were divorced when I was two years old, and my father went abroad when I turned six, so I always depended on my mother. After my mother started to practice Falun Dafa in 1997, I also began to practice and study the teachings. At that time, more and more people in our area studied the Fa. Our home became a Fa-study site.
We practiced the exercises together in the park every day. Sometimes I would practice with my mother, and sometimes I would play with other young practitioners that lived nearby. After doing the exercises, everyone would come to my home to study the Fa. I would play and listen nearby. I felt that every day was very happy and fulfilling.
Body Purification
Soon after I obtained the Fa, my body started to be purified. I had a fever for several days and came down with diarrhea. I passed a thick white liquid. My mother started to worry and asked me if I wanted to take medicine. I told her firmly that I didn’t need it. The next day, I woke up and told her that I was fine and my stomach didn’t hurt anymore. My mother felt my forehead and found that I didn’t have a fever anymore. From then on, my mother knew that Master was taking care of me.
Another time, I had a scab and a large on one of my eyes. It festered, and I couldn’t open my eye. My mother was worried that the abscess would leave a scar if it broke and that I would blame her when I grew up for not taking good care of me and letting me become disfigured, so she decided to give me IV antibiotics.
My mother was a nurse, and she was famous in the hospital at that time for her ability find a vein for an IV on the first try. Other nurses could not do it for babies that were only a few months old, but my mother could get it done on the first try. But that day she couldn’t get the IV drip going for me.
She then realized I shouldn’t have IVs or injections but said, “If you end up with a scar on your face, don’t blame me.” I said it was okay and that I wouldn’t blame her. When I woke up the next morning, my face was full of pus and blood, but there was no gaping hole. She opened my eye and found a pin hole on the inside of the lid. The pus had oozed out of that small opening, so there was no hole next to my eye. We thought it was amazing.
In a dream in the middle of 1998, I saw dead people lying all over the ground, and figures dressed in black were killing people. They saw me and came to arrest me. I ran home and hid in the closet. After the men in black found me, they ordered me to give them my Dafa books. They said they would kill me if I didn’t hand them over. I told them firmly that I would not give my books up, even if I died. Then I woke up. I told my mother about the dream. At that time, I did not realize that this was a test of life and death. I just knew that I was very determined to practice.
Protesting and Being Arrested
My mother and I went to the Dalian Municipal Government to protest for three days after April 25, 1999, the day when so many practitioners peacefully protested in Beijing for the right to practice. The police came to arrest us. I was thin but I felt very strong and held onto the railing tightly. It took two officers to pull me away. They drove us someplace far away and released us.
My mother later said that she wanted to go to Beijing to appeal, and I said I wanted to go, too. I didn’t have any fear, I just wanted to speak up for Master. Because my mother had to go to work the next day, she went to Tiananmen Square alone and walked around but didn’t find any other practitioners. She also didn’t know where the petitions office was, so she came home.
On the first day of the 2000 New Year, my mother took me and several other practitioners to the park to do the exercises. The police picked us up and detained us in a drug rehabilitation center. They played TV programs to brainwash us every day, ordered us to write pledges not to practice, and threatened and enticed us. The guards kicked me and a little girl two years younger than me. They knew that we were both from single-parent families and that there would be no one to take care of us if our parents were detained. They did this to try to coerce my mother and another practitioner to give up Dafa.
I was only 13 at the time, but I bravely took on the responsibility of caring for my sister. The drug rehabilitation center was more than an hour away from our home by car.
I took my sister to visit Mother. The guards would not let us in, so we ran to the small hill behind the building and shouted her name. It took almost half an hour before they would let us in to see her.
From then on, my mother was frequently arrested and taken to brainwashing centers or police stations. Mother came home several times in between the arrests, but she was arrested over and over again. She was later held in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp in Shenyang. While my mother was inside, I lived alone. But I insisted on going to school every day. The teacher knew about my family situation and ignored me. The adults I knew had been poisoned by the CCP’s lies and said that my mother was not good, that she’d given up her job and ignored her children to practice Falun Dafa. I knew that it was not wrong for my mother to learn Falun Dafa and to stand up for her belief. I did not blame her, and I never urged her to give up cultivating so that she would have not to leave me. Although my mother was not around, I was still very strong and cheerful. Because of the Fa, I always behaved according to the standards of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance and, and I knew that Master was always protecting me.
Leaving China for Foreign Shores
I came to the United States to live with my father in 2002. My father was a stranger to me—I only knew what he looked like. Because I didn’t study hard before, I didn’t know a word of English, so I was in a strange family, had no friends, and didn’t speak the language. It was a big challenge for me.
My father wanted me to get into a prestigious university, so he made me study every day. If I didn’t study well, he would get angry and hit me on the head with a book as thick as a dictionary. If I didn’t want to drink milk, he would scold me, saying that if I didn’t drink milk, I wouldn’t be smart and couldn’t compete. When I had a fever, he would scold me, saying that if I didn’t take care of my body, I would be sick and delay my studies. Sometimes when he was angry, he would blame my poor study habits on my mother because, he said, she didn’t care about my education—she just studied the Fa. Whenever he mentioned my mother, I couldn’t help but quarrel with him and even fight with him. I knew that this was to help me get rid of my sentimentality for my mother and my dislike of bad words. Many times I couldn’t bear it.
My first few years in the United States were the worse days of my life. I once ran away from home because of my father’s beatings and scolding. The only happy thing was to write letters to my mother in Masanjia. So that she wouldn’t worry about me, I just wrote her that I missed her very much. She only wrote back once every few months, and in the letters she always hinted that I should listen to the teacher and my father and be a good child. I knew she was reminding me not to forget to practice Falun Dafa.
Because I didn’t know any fellow practitioners when I came to the United States, and I didn’t know how to find Dafa books on the internet, the only thing I had were the handwritten scriptures by Master she occasionally included in her letters. Whenever I was struggling to improve my xinxing, I would hide in the closet and cry secretly, thinking of my mother as I read her letters and Master’s scriptures.
Master said,
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipsHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living and dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised”(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions,” Hong Yin II)
I knew that I was a practitioner and that this was all to help me improve, but I couldn’t let go of my resentment for my father and stumbled through my four years of high school. In order to escape my father and leave his family, I chose a university that was farthest away.
Reunion and Separation
After I started college, due to Master’s compassionate arrangement, my mother finally came to the United States. After being separated from her for almost 10 years, we were finally reunited in 2009. I thought that we would no longer have to be apart, but she told me that she was going to New York, where there were many projects to save people. So, less than six months after we got back together, she went to New York. I realized that this was the path of cultivation she wanted to take. Although I was very reluctant to see her go, she was going to do Fa-rectification work, and I knew I should support her.
Thinking about it now, I realize Master arranged my life path from the time I was born. If I had not grown up in a single-parent family, how could I have learned to be independent and developed strong character? When my mother went out to clarify the truth, I could take care of myself from the time I was young so that she could fulfill her vow without any worries. I once asked her, “Weren’t you worried about me being alone at home all those times?” She said that she knew that Master was taking care of me. She believed in Master and Dafa and believed that Master would protect me after I obtained the Fa and would arrange a good path for my future cultivation.
In college, I studied the Fa and did the exercises on and off. I knew that I was a Dafa practitioner, but I was lazy and always found excuses not do the exercises. I rarely studied the Fa. Gradually, my thoughts were no longer on the Fa. I gradually became busy with ordinary people’s affairs and put my life and making money first.
I only thought of Master when I encountered difficulties or couldn’t overcome a tribulation. Every time I did study the Fa, the feelings worry and irritability would slowly disappear, and then I would feel very happy, and I would shed tears from time to time. But after a little progress, I would slack off again. This went on and on.
Deteriorating Xinxing
The more I thought about it, the worse it got. I sensed clearly that my xinxing had deteriorated, especially when it came to educating my daughter. I couldn’t be kind or tolerant when I saw her doing things I didn’t like. Why did she like to complain so much? She didn’t think, and she was selfish. Who did she resemble? I thought I was independent and brave, and I had learned everything by myself. Why couldn’t she do anything? Logically, she was born into a Falun Dafa practitioner’s family, so she should be better than that. I was really afraid that if I went on like this, she would not turn out well.
I kept looking inward and found that when I talked with other parents, I revealed a strong desire to show off, I was attached to fame and gain and was jealous. I attached great importance to my daughter’s academic performance and admission to key schools. Weren’t these the attachments that I saw in my father? I realized that I had become the person I hated the most. My child is my mirror. The faults I saw in her were the traits I had not cultivated well. Now they were being passed on to the next generation. I was determined to cultivate myself well so that I could lead Master’s young disciple well.
I began to teach my daughter to read Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa, word by word. At first, she could only read one paragraph in half an hour a day, but now she can read several pages in an hour and can read most of it by herself. I also taught her how to find her own attachments and told her how I found and got rid of them, setting an example myself. She slowly started to improve.
Master Encouraged Me Through Shen Yun Promotion
Master said,
“Of course, while cultivating in ordinary human society, we should be good to our parents and look after our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun).
I was also slowly getting rid of the resentment I once held for my father. Now when I think about it, I no longer harbor the hatred I once did. This is all the power of Dafa.
Master also encouraged me in different ways. When I participated in promoting Shen Yun, several practitioners who lived nearby were responsible for promoting Shen Yun in several small cities in the area. Once, another practitioner and I went to an office building floor by floor to distribute Shen Yun flyers to companies and used this opportunity to clarify the truth.
Once I saw an office door was not locked, so I went in. I introduced Shen Yun to the man inside. He seemed very pleased and agreed to take his family to see it. As I was leaving, he asked me how I got in. I said that the door was not locked. He thought it was very strange because he said that the door locked automatically whenever it closed. After I went out, I turned back and tried the door again—it really was locked. I knew that it must be Master who asked me to save this predestined person.
Another time, when I was helping to find a hotel for the Shen Yun performers, I looked at more than 10 hotels in advance. I went to almost all of them, but their prices were rather high, and I was very distressed. I knew that the money Shen Yun makes is used to save people, and I didn’t want to spend more than necessary on hotels. There was only one hotel left, so I drove over and then called the manager. She said she would see me in an hour. While I was waiting, I sat in the car, did the meditation, and recited “On Dafa.” I thought it was a nice place.
There were no distracting thoughts in my mind, and it was very harmonious. Before I knew it, the hour had passed, so I went in and saw the manager. I introduced Shen Yun to her and told her the facts about Dafa. She was very moved and quoted me a great price. I was very happy to hear that. She also offered eight free rooms to fellow practitioners who came to help with Shen Yun logistics. I realized that Master has arranged our cultivation path. As long as we have strong righteous thoughts, we can walk that path.
Another Turning Point
Moving to Florida was another turning point in my life. I learned a new field of work and became familiar with a new environment. I was always confused about whether this decision was right, whether I was basing it on the Fa, and whether it was the path Master had arranged. After moving to Orlando, I had the opportunity to study the Fa and do the exercises with other practitioners every day. I firmly believe that this is Master’s arrangement to urge me, a lazy practitioner, to step forward more to get involved in Dafa projects to save people.
Thank you, Master, for your constant care. I will seize the opportunity to return to my original state of cultivation. I will keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification and fulfill my vows.
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