(Minghui.org) I thought I wasn’t deeply influenced by Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture and I didn’t have the attachment of jealousy. However, I recently began having conflicts with other practitioners. After looking inward, I realized the root cause of these issues stemmed from Party culture.
Because I was surrounded by CCP culture, I did not know what traditional culture was, so my behavior reflected the Party’s influence.
For example, when I helped people quit the CCP, I bragged to the other practitioners, “I helped dozens of people quit today,” or, “I helped many people quit yesterday.” I noticed that some practitioners didn’t seem to enjoy hearing this. I didn’t understand why and thought, “Isn’t it a good thing to help more people quit the CCP? Shouldn’t they appreciate my efforts?” Some practitioners pointed out that I had an attachment to showing off. I dismissed their comments—I felt I was straightforward and honest.
Through studying the Fa, I realized that I hadn’t considered others’ feelings. Some practitioners may not have helped as many people quit, and by repeatedly talking about how well I did, I unintentionally put pressure on them. My behavior revealed my arrogance and ego—I had a desire to stand out and I wanted to be praised.
Recognizing My Attachment to Showing Off
If I truly understood that Master made the arrangement, why did I feel the need to emphasize what I had done? I realized it was because I was showing off and seeking to validate myself. These attachments were so ingrained in me that I didn’t even notice them.
When other practitioners first pointed out that I tended to show off, I didn’t think I had this attachment. It wasn’t until another practitioner bragged he could read the smallest font on his phone screen that I understood. Although I didn’t say anything, I felt annoyed and thought he was showing off. I also suddenly realized I did this.
I looked inward and saw that my words often reflected a mindset of showing off—whether I talked about how many people I helped quit the Party, how much of the Fa I memorized, or what I accomplished. I asked myself, “Do my words truly benefit others?” When we clarify the truth, we consider the person’s ability to understand, so why didn’t I have the same consideration for other practitioners’ feelings? I only focused on sharing my successes—wasn’t this a manifestation of my ego?
Every word we say should be weighed against whether it benefits others, including practitioners. Cultivating our speech isn’t just about the words we say; it reflects our character and mindset.
Before I began cultivating, I often felt that many people around me—from my childhood to adulthood—seemed to envy me, though I never understood why. One day, I read an article in which the practitioner author explained that the opposite of the proverb “still waters run deep” is “flaunting one’s talents.” I realized that this described me perfectly.
Because I lacked an understanding of traditional culture and didn’t know how to be humble, I often spoke about my strengths. I made others feel uncomfortable, and this led to my having conflicts with other practitioners. I realized these issues stemmed from the influence of Party culture. My unintentionally showing off made others feel uneasy.
I gradually recognized my attachments after some intense conflicts that compelled me to look inward deeply. Because I grew up in a privileged environment I was accustomed to being praised. Even when I was in a detention center, the other practitioners praised me for my calmness and confidence. So when practitioners suddenly criticized me, it was difficult to accept.
I realized that I enjoyed hearing compliments. I focused on who was right or wrong at the surface-level and disliked being misunderstood. However, judging situations based on outward appearances of right and wrong is not correct. As cultivators, we should focus on improving our character, regardless of how things appear on the surface.
I also realized that without these conflicts at home or in society I could not truly improve. Conflicts among practitioners help us improve our character and eliminate karma—they are, in fact, beneficial. Every challenge we encounter is an opportunity, carefully arranged by Master to expose our attachments and help us eliminate them. If I can’t let go of my attachments, then aren’t I failing to follow Master’s teachings and guidance?
I realized that both good and bad situations are beneficial. After coming to this understanding, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I’m deeply grateful to other practitioners for their support, and I now feel more balanced and calm.
The most striking aspect of Party culture is hatred, which is irrational and baseless. I always thought I was kind-hearted and that I never engaged in heated arguments with anyone. However, the hatred sown by the CCP is deeply ingrained in us.
About 10 years ago, a local practitioner remarried after her husband passed away. She knew I strongly disapproved, so she didn’t dare tell me. Whenever her remarriage was mentioned, I’d get upset and had negative thoughts about her. I couldn’t understand why it made me angry, but I justified it by telling myself that my disapproval was for her own good; after all, she was already in her fifties, so what was the point of remarrying?
I knew my mindset was wrong, so I tried to suppress my emotions. At the time, I didn’t understand what Party culture really was. Years later, when I saw her again, she aged significantly and could no longer do the three things. I truly felt sorry for her.
I gradually realized that hatred prevented me from having compassion for her. Once I recognized it, it disappeared. Since then, no trace of that hateful mindset surfaced in my thoughts.
Party culture also manifests in being sharp, being arrogant, lacking humility, seeking attention, speaking in absolutes, and leaving no room for flexibility. I recognize that I still carry these things, but I’m committed to applying the Fa to correct every thought and eliminate all the Party culture. I’m also deeply grateful for fellow practitioners’ selfless help.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
