(Minghui.org) When reading other Falun Dafa practitioners’ experiences of memorizing the Fa, I feel both envious and anxious. As a self-employed individual, I finish my daily work late and return home after dark. Without ample time to memorize the Fa, I just read it slowly instead.
In the past, I studied the Fa without proper understanding, focusing only on quantity, so I couldn’t see the Fa’s essence, let alone its deeper principles. One day a month ago, as I carefully read Zhuan Falun word by word, I came to the section on “Cultivation of Speech.” I saw that Master said:
“The Buddha School requires the cultivation of speech. Namely, one’s speech is dictated by one’s thinking. Accordingly, one’s thinking has intentions. If a person’s mind wants to think a little bit, say something, do something, or direct one’s sensory organs and four limbs, it may be an attachment among everyday people.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
After reading this passage of the Fa, my body suddenly trembled, and a wave of heat spread throughout my entire body. The material world around me seemed to vanish, leaving only my own thoughts contemplating the Fa: “one’s thinking has intentions.”
When I do not look inward for my attachments after conflicts with my husband, or when I’m upset with someone, I feel troubled and can’t let it go. I then begin to look outward, focusing on the faults of others. I am unable to sleep, so I take to watching short videos on my phone to escape my anxieties. Isn’t this just self-deception?
What was my intention for doing that? What kind of attachments drove me to do so? I tried to avoid my feelings of worry and distress. But I am a cultivator and in times like this, I should look within and identify my attachments. I should then eliminate them and progress in cultivation.
When I watch short videos to escape reality, am I acting as a Dafa practitioner should? Master has gone through immense hardship to purify our bodies and save us, yet I watch videos! Do I not defile myself by engaging in this sort of behavior? From the standpoint of saving sentient beings, isn’t defiling myself equivalent to destroying the sentient beings within my heavenly world?
After close to 30 years of cultivation, I still have not fully recognized the preciousness of Dafa on a rational level. I’m still indulging in my attachments and not handling things in line with the Fa. But I am a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, and therefore, I should not let the old forces manipulate me anymore!
I will cherish the time extended to me through Master Li’s immense sacrifice. The mission of Dafa disciples is to do the three things well, and assist Master in saving people.
Shortly after arriving at these new understandings, while practicing the second set of exercises with my hands held above my head, I suddenly heard a sharp “pop” sound, and felt a small door open atop my head like a seashell. Master, concerned for his disciple, had helped me to enlighten to the Fa.
From that day on, I truly stopped looking at video clips on my phone. While doing housework, I listened to articles shared by fellow practitioners on Minghui, and my understanding of the Fa has deepened. I learned to speak when I should and remain silent when I shouldn’t speak. While practicing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts, I can finally quiet my mind and be free from wandering thoughts.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
