(Minghui.org) I did not go to Beijing to validate Dafa like fellow practitioners. I was timid since I was a child, but my determination to practice Dafa has never wavered.

Without my mom knowing, I studied the Fa, posted banners, and distributed information materials. The CCP’s persecution did not make me give up practicing, but emotion and sentimentality led me astray. It was time for me to get married. After twists and turns, I met my husband. He was a good man and did not have a hostile attitude when I told him about Dafa, unlike most people in China. He had righteous thoughts toward Dafa and agreed that Dafa was being persecuted. I later married him as a matter of course …

In the summer of 2008, when I read Master’s new articles provided by another practitioner, I saw the compassionate calls from Master and had tears in my eyes. I told Master in my heart that I was back even though I had not done well, and I thanked him for not giving up on me. Since then, I have walked on the path of diligent cultivation.

[Excerpt from this article]

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Another China Fahui has started. This is the first time I have wanted to report my cultivation experiences to Master and to share them with fellow practitioners. Though I am good at writing, I had never written an experience sharing as I did not think my cultivation was good enough. When I realized the importance of this Fahui, I started to write down my cultivation experience. That’s when I found that I did not have much to report to Master. I felt ashamed and realized immediately that I had to cultivate diligently.

Thus, I decided that I had to write this article regardless of the state of my cultivation, look for shortcomings, and cultivate diligently.

Obtaining Dafa and Cultivating Happily

I got to know Dafa from a middle-school classmate in 1997. Having been indoctrinated with atheism by the CCP’s education system, I scoffed at the idea of qigong. But when I heard my classmate’s introduction of Dafa, I had great interest. I brought the book Zhuan Falun home that day and finished reading it in a few days. I saw that this practice taught people to be good and explained why they should do so. As I was young and busy with work, however, I put it aside. Nevertheless, the seed was planted in my heart.

When I talked with another classmate who practiced Dafa in 1998, he said, “I have to study the Fa well. It is so good. You should practice it too.” I suddenly felt that I should start practicing Dafa. Thus, I started my cultivation at 20 years old. After graduating from college, I started work and joined a Fa-study group.

In the year before the CCP started persecuting Dafa, I let go of my habit of sleeping in. I started getting up a little after 5 a.m. to participate in group exercises. I then went to work after a quick breakfast. After dinner, I went to the Fa-study group. I was a teacher and strove to teach each class well and treat every student kindly, even the mischievous ones. I introduced Dafa to them and taught them both the exercises and the principles of being good people.

The students liked me very much. At a parent-teacher meeting, the mother told me excitedly, “My son has made a big change this semester and became mature. He said his teacher told his class about Dafa and how to be good people, and told them to respect their parents. He said he would study hard and not make me upset. He was sensitive and touchy before due to my divorce with his father, but now he behaves so well. After school, he does his homework and house chores.”

I feel so fulfilled and happy when I recall this one-year period of stable personal cultivation. Though I did not study the Fa profoundly enough and my cultivation had just started, Dafa stayed firmly in my heart.

Staying Firm in the Face of Persecution

Jiang Zemin, former head of the CCP, started the persecution of Dafa on July 20, 1999. Countless practitioners were forced to live away from their homes, and countless people in China were poisoned by the CCP’s slander of Dafa. My mother told me in a serious tone not to practice anymore; she lay in bed and refused meals to force me to give in.

I said, “The TV reports are not true. Dafa never tells us to commit suicide or not take medicine.” As I was new to Dafa and was not in contact with other practitioners, I did not know that many practitioners were going to Beijing to petition the government and speak up for Dafa. I knew Dafa is good and that the TV reports were false. Thus, I did not waver when others told me not to practice.

The village committee members and my school principal went to my home during that period of time, but I was not at home. My mother was afraid, but she dealt with them wisely, saying my hukou (household registration) had been transferred. As a result, the village committee did not bother me anymore. The principal saw that my family was poor and showed sympathy. He did not report me to higher authorities. I think I might not have been able to withstand the persecution if it were severe, as my cultivation at the time was not solid. I think compassionate Master protected me; otherwise, I would not have made it through to today.

After talking with other practitioners, I realized I should do something to speak up for Dafa. I bought self-adhesive labels and wrote messages on them with markers, such as “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and “Falun Dafa is righteous Fa.” I posted them on utility poles and walls during my lunch break. Later I was able to get informational materials and distributed them to doors of houses by bike. I later realized that it was disrespectful to Dafa, so I placed the printouts in self-sealed bags before distributing them. I wanted to validate Dafa and did this without my family noticing. I studied the Fa in secret in the evenings.

I did not go to Beijing to validate Dafa like fellow practitioners. I was timid since I was a child, but my determination to practice Dafa has never wavered.

Resuming Cultivation Diligently

Without my mom knowing, I studied the Fa, posted banners, and distributed information materials. The CCP’s persecution did not make me give up practicing, but emotion and sentimentality led me astray. It was time for me to get married. After twists and turns, I met my husband. He was a good man and did not have a hostile attitude when I told him about Dafa, unlike most people in China. He had righteous thoughts toward Dafa and agreed that Dafa was being persecuted. I later married him as a matter of course.

As I was lost in human affection, I gradually slacked off in cultivation. I stopped studying the Fa and posting banners. I lived like an everyday person. But in daily life I still held myself to the standard of Dafa practitioners.

The principal once asked me to serve as a member of the district Political Consultative Conference. I went to the Bureau of Education and was told to write a statement that I was not a Falun Gong practitioner and had negative thoughts toward Dafa. Although I had left Dafa for a few years, the seed of Dafa was still in my heart. I realized that it was a test for me from Master, so I refused to sign the statement and went home by bus.

Perhaps Master saw that I still had righteous thoughts and arranged for me to meet an older practitioner in my village. I thus resumed cultivation. In the summer of 2008, when I read Master’s new articles provided by another practitioner, I saw the compassionate calls from Master and had tears in my eyes. I told Master in my heart that I was back even though I had not done well, and I thanked him for not giving up on me. Since then, I have walked on the path of diligent cultivation.

Looking Within

After resuming cultivation, I felt like a homesick child who had been away for many years. I studied the Fa with other practitioners and used every free moment I could to read Dafa books. The more I studied the Fa, the more I understood.

Later I realized the urgency of studying the teachings and started to memorize the Fa during summer break. I memorized Zhuan Falun after sending forth righteous thoughts at 6 a.m. In the beginning, I spent two hours memorizing a single paragraph, but later it took me less than twenty minutes. The Fa showed me principles layer by layer, leading to improvement in my xinxing. Guided by the Fa and mercifully protected by Master, I passed tests one after another.

1. Letting Go of the Self-Protective Mentality

My husband and I often fought because I had a strong mentality of protecting myself while he had a hot temper. As I studied the Fa more deeply, I realized I had to let go of this attachment. But I couldn’t remove it completely because I didn’t have enough will. My husband was once furious at me for a small issue that was not my responsibility. I couldn’t stand it, and when I was ready to fight with him, I suddenly thought, “I am a practitioner. How can I handle this conflict the same way he does?” But I was still indignant.

I realized that this behavior did not come from my true self. I asked myself, “Would it kill you not to talk back? Are you a practitioner or an everyday person?” I told myself that I had to pass the test and let go of my self-protective mentality.

As I went through this conversation in my mind again and again, I calmed down and was able to let go of the attachment completely. I told my husband sincerely, “I was wrong. Don’t be angry. It’s not good for your health.” He was stunned and said, “Why aren’t you arguing with me? Have you finally seen that you’re wrong? Are you even able to see that?” I said, “I know I have many shortcomings. I hope you can point them out from now on.”

He seemed puzzled. I said, “Master said we need to look within to improve our character. As a practitioner, we should not push responsibility for conflicts onto others. This way, we can improve our xinxing.” He smiled and did not say a word. Later we had similar arguments, but I was able to pass each test calmly. Amazingly, my husband even apologized to me one time: “I should not get angry today. I was wrong. I should look within like you and improve myself.” We both laughed.

2. Calmly Dealing With My Husband’s Affair

After my husband came home from a night shift one time, a message appeared on his cell phone: “Darling, did you sleep well last night?” I was dumbstruck, and tears fell right away. My husband asked me what had happened. I asked him to look at the message. He said, “I don’t know who it is. It must have been sent to the wrong person. I can call her to confront her.” I said, “You must have colluded with her. I cannot believe you.” I cried, and he comforted me for a long time. I told him to get out and said I wanted to be alone for a while. He said worriedly, “Don't do anything rash!” I told him I wouldn’t.

I then called that number, and the woman said her sister had used her phone to send a message to her brother-in-law but sent it to the wrong number. I did not believe it. I continued crying but quickly stopped. I said to myself, “What happened today could be either true or false. If it’s true, would you give up cultivation? Do you want to be a practitioner or everyday person?”

I then calmed down and read Minghui Weekly. I recalled a practitioner’s sharing about her husband’s years-along affair. This practitioner did not have grievance; instead, she told her husband to treat the other woman kindly, as it was not easy for her. Later she realized there was selfishness in such kindness, and thus she advised her husband to sever the improper relationship, which was not good for her husband or the woman. Her husband was moved by the practitioner’s compassion and severed his relationship with that woman. He later started practicing Dafa.

I felt ashamed after recalling the practitioner’s experience. I said to myself, “I must pass this test and be an dignified practitioner.” I wiped away my tears and called my husband into the room. He was surprised to see that I was not crying anymore. I said calmly and sincerely, “I am fine now. I don’t know if this thing today is true or false, and I don’t want to fight about it. If it’s false, it’s good. If it’s true, I’m not angry. I am a practitioner and know that everything has a predestined relationship. If this issue is true, I hope you know your identity as a husband and father, and I believe you can make the right choice and handle it properly.”

My husband was stunned. He said with emotion, “You are so good! How can you behave so well?” I told him, “It’s not that I’m good. Dafa is good. Think about it: Without Dafa, how could I let this go so easily?” He nodded sincerely, “This Dafa is truly good!”

Sending Righteous Thoughts to Eliminate Attachments

As my cultivation progressed, my realm and xinxing both rose. When I first read Master’s Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003, I did not understand anything. But when I went through one test after another, I had a better understanding of the Fa. I realized that at my level, when we meet with tribulations, the key is whether we can let go of human attachments, have righteous thoughts, and measure ourselves against the standard of Dafa.

1. Getting Rid Of Jealousy and Resentment

My husband is a veteran and was assigned to work in his current department after retiring from the military. He was a general worker and did not hold a budgeted position. The budgeted posts were each sold for 100,000 yuan to new college graduates who had connections.

To avoid keep disgruntled veterans from petitioning the government, the CCP authorities offered them budgeted posts but failed to inform my husband’s unit. While salaries for government employees grew, my husband’s income stayed the same. I felt it was unfair and developed resentment toward my husband for not working hard to resolve the issue or to earn more money. Meanwhile, I had to take care of major issues at home. Later, I had various thoughts and looked down on him.

Persistent Fa study changed me gradually. When I looked within, I saw that my negative thoughts came from my attachment to fame and gain. Not only should I not have blamed my husband, but I should have thanked him instead. After returning home from group study one time, I realized, “My husband’s suffering the CCP’s economic persecution. It’s not his fault but the CCP’s wrongdoing. How can I blame him? I should have sympathy.” After all, he had supported my cultivation for so many years, and his life is precious–how could I look down on him? This was resentment and jealousy, and as a practitioner, I didn’t want those attachments.

Since then, I have sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of resentment and jealousy whenever they appear. One day, a thought popped up in my mind that my husband’s monthly salary should be 3000 yuan. Amazingly, the veterans in my husband’s unit soon went to petition the government. Instead of resenting him, I encouraged him. He grew more confident and went to present his demand to the government. Finally his monthly salary was raised from a little over 1,000 yuan to 3,000 yuan.

I realized later that my righteous thoughts were not strong enough, as practitioners’ money are Dafa resources. It is also a way to validate Dafa when practitioners lead good lives. There was no reason he should be paid 3,000 yuan when others received 5,000 yuan. Not only that, but the past underpayments should be made up for. I refused to acknowledge the old forces’ financial persecution. An amazing thing happened: Before long, my husband’s salary was raised to a similar level as his colleagues, and over 200,000 yuan were paid at once to make up for the difference over so many years.

I was deeply touched by the wonder of Dafa and the power of looking within, and I thus gained insights into the principles discussed in Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003.

2. Removing the Competitive Mentality and Taking Affection Lightly

After my mother passed away, my father lived with us. He has a hot temper and was sensitive to other people’s words and actions. There were conflicts day in and day out.

One day, my husband went to move furniture for a rental house. My father handed my husband gloves. My husband was busy and replied in a brusque tone. My father grew angry, returned home, and vented at me about my husband’s shortcomings. He called my husband and my father-in-law home and was determined to vent his anger. When my husband stepped in, my father slapped him. My husband did not get angry but asked what had happened. My father scolded him.

I was stunned and wondered why he was so angry over such a small issue. I was scared to tears and did not know what to do. I thought it must have had something to do with my cultivation. Seeing my father’s yelling with bulging eyes, I realized it was a reflection of a competitive mentality and that Master was giving me a hint. I did not want this mentality in myself. I sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate this competitive mentality and its karma field in other dimensions.

I also saw my attachment of affection for my father. When my husband said anything bad about my father, I would defend my father until he was convinced. I also sent righteous thoughts to eliminate this attachment. After quite a while, I saw my father calm down and say he regretted slapping my husband. He apologized to my husband in front of my father-in-law. My husband said with a smile, “I am fine. I am not angry at you even though you hit me.”

A fierce family conflict was thus dissolved when I sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the competitive mentality and attachment to affection for my father. Later I thought that I passed this test because of my choice between human attachments and righteous thoughts. Isn’t this the principle of choice that Master mentioned in the Fa?

A month later, my husband and my father were getting along better than before, and my home become harmonious.

Clarifying the Truth Through My Teaching Work

From studying Teachings From a Tour of North America, I realized that clarifying the truth is one of the three things that Dafa practitioners must do. Thus I was determined to do well.

Studying the Fa also made me see that how Dafa practitioners behave in society affects how people view Dafa. Those who do not know Dafa would view Dafa from practitioners’ demeanor. If we clarify the truth well but do not conduct ourselves well, people would have a negative view toward Dafa.

After I resumed cultivation in 2008, as a teacher, I learned new skills and improved my instruction techniques. I also regarded each student with an open-minded attitude because I knew that parents would judge teachers by whether their children’s scores increased and whether their children were cared for in school.

In addition to bringing multiple classes from the bottom of the rankings to the top, I have led misbehaving students to be more diligent and respectful. I was praised by students, parents, other teachers, and administrators. Many parents were proud for their children to be in my class. Some parents even tried hard to get their children into my class by leveraging their connections.

The director of the teaching office said, “I have been in many schools. I have never met with anyone with your approach to education.” The principal also admired me. This led an older teacher who used to look down on me because of my practicing Dafa to respect me. I wanted to let people know that Dafa practitioners are not losers and incompetent in their work; instead, they are incomparable elites.

In today’s society, it is normal for teachers to receive gifts, especially from parents who are rich and powerful. I turned down the gifts, but out of fear, I did not tell them I was a practitioner, which led to misunderstandings by some parents. They even thought I disliked the gifts or thought the amounts were too low and would treat their children unfairly. Later I realized that refusing gifts was not to validate that I was a good teacher but rather to show that I had adopted a higher moral standard from practicing Dafa.

I started to write to the parents who gave me gifts and stated the reason in a subtle and tactful way, that my principles of life were sincerity, kindness, tolerance, and forbearance. I then returned the gifts. The parents got my message. Meanwhile, I took even better care of the students, and the parents were even more touched.

In one example, I had the son of a mafia boss in my class who was disobedient and hard to teach. I was caring but still followed the rules. The student became respectful and came to like studying. He even received a score of 94.5 out of 100. His mother gave me 2,000 yuan out of appreciation under the pretext of giving a gift to my daughter for the Chinese New Year. I wrote to her and stated my principles of being a good person. I returned the money. The mafia boss was touched and said I was the best teacher he had ever met. He even ordered his son not to anger me, even though he generally protected his son unconditionally. Later they brought the money to me again. I had no choice but to accept it, but I repaid them by buying expensive fruits from tropical regions, books and clothes for their child. His parents and I have been good friends since then.

Later I realized that such subtle truth-clarification was not effective, as I still had fear and safety concerns. I feared that parents would not understand me and would report me to officials. I realized these thoughts were unbecoming of a practitioner and decided to eliminate these human attachments. I wanted my words and actions to be the best form of truth-clarification. Thus, whenever parents gave me gifts or money since then, I said I am a Dafa practitioner and clarified the truth to them thoroughly.

The maternal grandfather of a girl once brought me two boxes of dried fruit and a gift card of 500 yuan. He left in a hurry without telling me. I wrote a letter to the girl’s family. I hesitated because her father worked in a police station. I worried that if he was the director or deputy director, he might harass or even arrest me. But then, I changed my thinking. I should not afraid. Even if her father were the director of the police station, it would be good for me to clarify the truth to him–the more, the better. If he understood what I said, he would not persecute Dafa practitioners. That would be a good thing!

So, I wrote about what Falun Gong is, how Dafa practitioners learn to be better people, how the CCP framed Falun Gong by staging the Tiananmen self-immolation incident, how there is a big movement to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations, how Falun Gong is practiced throughout the world, why Dafa practitioners risk their lives to clarify the truth, and how I hold myself to higher standards in daily life. I kindly asked him not to participate in the persecution when he was confronted with such a choice.

I brought this letter and 900 yuan worth of clothes and other items for the student to her mother’s work unit. Her mother sent me a message that evening. I still remember her first sentence: “I finished reading your letter with tears in my eyes. I know this [persecution] is a plot.”

She wrote in support of justice and subtly expressed her admiration for Dafa practitioners. I believe that her husband would be similarly touched by this letter and that the evil factors in other dimensions would disintegrate. I was delighted by their awakening and grew ever more grateful or Master because what I did was only a tiny bit in the boundless Dafa. Master has borne tremendous hardships for the sake of saving sentient beings, and his grace is beyond words.

Memorizing Hong Yin and Clarifying the Truth Face to Face

I had a strong mentality of fear and was afraid of being misunderstood and reported while clarifying the truth. I am not good at talking with strangers, though I am a teacher and have no problem with speaking in general. I knew the fear arose out of selfishness. I wanted to pass this test by studying the Fa more.

However, I failed after multiple tries. I would grow confident after studying the Fa at home, but after going out, I would be unable to speak. I was regretful each time and blamed myself being so silly. But my self-blame did not resolve the issue, and I would make the same mistakes.

I worried about this issue and did not know how to overcome it. A practitioner encouraged me and said that stepping out was the first step and that I needed to overcome fear. But I could not do it and mistook the fear and concern as my own.

One day I tried to memorize Hong Yin IV. As I recited the poems, my bad thoughts weakened and my righteous thoughts grew stronger. After memorizing over ten poems, I developed a new sense of compassion. My selfishness and indifference toward sentient beings were gone. After I recited Hong Yin IV, I went out by electric bike to clarify the truth. I met a man in his eighties who was riding a bike in the other direction. I asked him about the price of the cabbage he bought and then told him the importance of quitting the CCP. He agreed quickly.

I still remember the compassionate state that came from deep in my heart. This successful experience allowed me to witness the power of Dafa. Reciting the Fa fills me with righteous thoughts and compassion. The other person felt the compassion and agreed to quit the CCP in just a few minutes.

Later, I joined other practitioners to clarify the truth in markets. The more I talked to people, the more righteous thoughts and compassion I had. I persuaded 19 people to quit the CCP organizations in just over two hours. I knew it was Master who had helped me. Without Master’s help, I would not have been able to transcend my ego and the selfishness of the old universe.

Concluding Remarks

I have experienced much loss and gain over these years of cultivation. While I have written about some things I did well, I know I have many shortcomings. Human attachments appear often, and there are many tests that I have not passed well. My cultivation state is not stable, and I have been lax with myself.

Due to the pandemic, everyone was required to use a smartphone to report their condition. This led me to develop a cell phone addition. Watching short videos wasted a lot of time, and even worse, it made me slack off in cultivation. I could no longer focus when studying the Fa, sending righteous thoughts, and doing the exercises.

Here I would like to remind fellow practitioners of the danger of being addicted to cell phones. If this attachment is not removed, it can cause our cultivation to fail. We would be ashamed to face our compassionate Master who bears for us with his all, as well as all the sentient beings who look to us for salvation.

I pledge to Master that I will get rid of the addiction to cell phones and eliminate my attachment to comfort and pursuing a good life. I will follow Master’s teaching, do the three things well, cultivate diligently, and follow Master to my true home.

(Selected submission for the 22nd China Fa Conference on Minghui.org)